Hey there, I'm in a state of limbo here, and I was hoping some of you kind souls out there could assist me with this.

So, there is this girl in Australia I know, who has a boyfriend way over in Canada. She is one of my best friends here, and we spend a lot of time together just talking for hours - up to 10 hours at a time even - and we never get sick of each other's company. Conversation is easy, personalities gel, and there is that special 'spark' between us; a sexual tension and, if I must admit, a deeply emotional connection.

But, anyway, she's leaving for Canada in a week to reunite with the boyfriend whom she has been away from for close to 10 months now. Which sucks about as hard as a hungry baby on its mother's nipples. Sucks till it feels numb.

But just a week or so ago, she wrote me a message, confessing her 'hidden' infatuation for me. It ran along the lines of "I will never admit this to you in person, and I will only dare to say this once, but over the period we have known each other, I have developed affectionate feelings for you. But... as things are.. maybe in another life. I love everything about you and you are the best friend I ever had".

Now, this threw me into a mind-loop, propelled me into a different orbit since I too have had feelings for her for quite a while too, clearly. But... with a week left before she leaves Australia, I do not know exactly what I want to do. And I need help, desperately!

I've reached a point where I have passively accepted that she will go to Canada no matter what I do at this point in time, but I would like to 'inject' a little doubt into the quality of the relationship she has with her boyfriend (She has expressed how she finds him to be a little over-reliant on her for his sense of purpose in life). I want her to think of the quality of the conversations we've had when she is speaking to him. To remember me in instances where she feels she needs someone to understand her, listen to her, and enjoy in her company. In other words, I want her to want me when she is over there. As it is, she is staying about an hour and a half away, but oftentimes visits me just to spend extended time together.

I guess my question here is: how do I go about expressing these things to her before she leaves? How do I inject this wanting in her to come back to Australia to be with me? How do I put the thought into her to give the brewing emotionalism between us a chance to become something a little more real?

Would greatly value any advice / direction from anyone here!

(first of all, I think you should post this somewhere else, if you don't want to get banned).

wow, interesting case. I guess you could look at it from a mature point of view. Is she just visiting Canada, or leaving for ever? Is there a way for you to be together, if it happens (unless you are into long distance relationships, which I don't recommend) and so on.

I'd definitely EXPRESS my feelings for her (not in a whiny way, but in a confident direct way) and say your truth. Expression is one of the most important aspects of confidence and well being. Be confident about what you want. I'll make it even stronger: it's something you SHOULD do .

Obviously then it's her choice, whether she actually wants to stay with her bf, or get together with you. I honestly think expressing feelings is far more important than the consequences.

The other thing I'm wondering about. why did she leave you this message. Women communicate in subtle ways, so this might have been an invitation for you to be a man and tell her what you feel/want.

Most importantly: follow your heart! (very precise and practical advice heh )

That's my two cents.
Ivan

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Thank you for your help! I'm really sorry about posting in the wrong place; I'm a noob here, so is there a particular forum I should be posting in?

I guess a lot of what went on between us was very much left unsaid. It was always there, and we both kind of knew it was there, but we never said anything openly, because of her situation in returning to Canada. I think she does love her boyfriend, but it is a kind of "he needs me in his life" kind of way. And I think since we have known each other, it has opened her eyes to the way conversations can flow naturally, instead of rigidly, or simply relying on repetitive "I Love You"s instead of actual flowing conversations of random topics.

The other time, when she was drunk at my place, she kept asking me a simple question "I just want to know what we shared was real. Was it real for you?" and, because it was very much real for me, I kinda of froze up from the directness of her question (because we don't often speak openly about these kind of things, leaving most of it unsaid).

Wish I could still have time to change her mind in leaving...

I understand. I will emphasize again: EXPRESSION of what's on your mind is VERY important. But I do agree that it's not always the easiest thing. It's a skill that most of us haven't learned when we grew up.

I suggest not to be attached to any outcome, but to say your truth no matter what!
Besides: it's just a journey. Every experience, every "mistake", every rise and fall is a part of it and the best approach is to enjoy the ride .

No matter how it will continue, this be a great learning experience for you and a motivation to develop yourself as a man even more!

good luck and keep us posted!
Ivan

_________________
On To Masculine Freedom!!
Get your dream girls by unleashing your true masculine powers. Go to:
http://masculinefreedom.com/coaching