Hey guys,

So basically this keep happening to me, if I set a date for a future day (lets say we're wednesday and I set a date for saturday) I have no idea how or if I should confirm said date before hand. If I call a girl and tell her "Hey lets go out for drink" it usually turns out fine, but if I make plans ahead, I have no idea how to handle it. They usually end up flaking.

In example, I had setup a movie date with this girl I've been seeing a few times now (plan made on Sunday, movie on Tuesday). I call her after her work around 9:30 and ask her if she's ready, she says she forgot we had those plans (basic flake) and that I should have reminded her during the day or something.

Now, I had this feeling that calling to confirm a planned date sounds pretty insecure yet if they genuinely forget then I should have called.

What do you guys think, to call a day before or not? And if you do call, should that call be a direct reminder or just open a conversation and slip the subject in the middle of it?

I generally text her earlier that day or the day before reminding her in a fun/humerous way. That way she still remembers and knows that you are still wanting to go. Then you can also end that rather quickly and just call her before you leave the night of. Good luck!

I did read some theory on flaking. Haven't tried it, its all theory for me now.

But what I see is that Wednesday to Saturday is a long time. Telling her on Wednesday for a dinner on Saturday seems not only that you are trying too hard, but also that you want something. There's a slight hint of a hidden agenda and women sense that thing very quick, even though it may not be your intention. Their guard goes up, their logical side of the brain becomes dominant.

What you should do is be spontaneous. If you are free on Saturday, call her up on Friday, although I would prefer Saturday morning (but remember, I haven't tried it yet), start with an open conversation (not preferred, but if you must) and fix a date by saying something like I am doing so and so a thing, and I would like you to join me. It would be a great way of knowing you and bonding together, plus I heard of a good place nearby where we can get a bite to eat.

What this does is it conveys that you've got something to do, and you would like her to join you. It isn't necessary for her to join, you love to do things independently, but you stepped out of your way to invite her to get to know her better. This should get less flaking.

All theory for me.

@Fragrance

What you say is true, and it works quite well for first dates. In my situation, I'm having flakes for day 2-3, where we've already built comfort, and even sometimes kclosed or fclose, yet still get flakes afterwards.

Torn has a good idea except I dunno why, I have a feeling that texting is a little weak, I might just be too old for texting.

This HB I have invited for the weekend to go see some Grand Prix stuff downtown (it's F1 grand prix week-end here), I'll give her a call tomorrow morning suggesting another idea (there's also a beer festival going on this week-end). If it fails, I'll just go alone and daygame .

Cheers!

I personally do not find texting weak but I have not found a girl my age (20) who does not text regularly. Either way, if you make it nonchalant and just remind her about the date without making it a big deal, you will be fine.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

If you're getting flakes on day 2-3 when you've k-closed or even f-closed, then it may be that they were happy with what you gave them, but were only looking for that one encounter (eg. wanting only a one night stand). I would go ahead and set up that date in advance, but call the day before or even the morning of, and confirm. I've heard two ways of what is best to do, and have used both, so I'll let you judge which is more your style:

1. Ask her why she hasn't confirmed the date with you yet. (Don't be a jerk, just let her know you wanted to clarify a few details, then let her know you had expected her call to confirm.)

2. Tell her something completely unrelated, best example being that you've come up with a nickname for her, but you won't tell her until you've seen her on the date. Almost guarantees a no flake.

This I like, totally my style.

Cheers!