One-itis Case - NOT FOR THE WEAK



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 11:44 pm 
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So I'll try to be as brief as possible. HB9 at work, 28 years old (4 years older than me) w/ 2 kids.

I started talking to her 2 months ago through company e-mail and we hit it off easy. E-mails led to (very) long phone calls for a while. Then after a week of that I asked her out to a movie date. Turns out she couldn't wait so she calls me to come over the night before and I accepted. We have a great time, make out, and I even stayed the night. Things went great for a while but we moved very fast. Even at work we'd meet up secretely and make out somewhere. Everything was roses, right?

Well as time went on things slowed down a bit. Less secret rendezvous at work, conversation isn't as interesting anymore (from both ends), rejection/excuses to meeting up outside of work... I pushed for exclusivity but it didn't work out.

I didn't get the LJBF speech, but she did make it clear that she's not interested in meeting anyone right now. From what I get she's still hung up on her ex husband, and the biggest thing that hurts me is my age. She prefers someone her age or older. Basically she's expressed that what's happened between us is crazy/unusual because I'm the only one who's gotten this far with her.

I used to stress the ex husband/age dilemma, but now I realize that if one masters PU then old ex's and preferences wont matter, so that's good! From my point of view, I think I need to DHV and build attraction all over again. I've been negging her once in a while and becoming more independent. Yeah, she still calls (she's always called the most out of the two of us, I'm not a phone person so that's my advantage) but no other area is improving. Even yesterday we had a secret rendezvous at work but that's it. She still drops IOI's here and there (I'm sure of it) but now, whatever we have, doesn't leave phone calls and random work rendezvous (anymore).

Sometimes I swear she reads PUA forums in order to counter techniques.

So what happened? Why are things fizzling out? Why did my game turn from a big, hairy bastard of a COCK to a withering impotent MEMBER? Suggestions? Comments? Help would be VERY appreciated... Thanks

:?


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 12:30 am 
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eventhough shes still in her 20s I still sense from your story that she is a cougar. With the cougar mentality as it relates to younger guys is that they use them to have fun. She looked at you and your time together as fun. But once it went on for awhile she got bored and started to not have fun.

You are (not to sound like im putting you down) her entertainment. If shes stuck on the age thing ( which it sounds like she is) she wont look at you like youre a keeper. She looks at you as a quick entertainment (and sexual) fix. She'll keep in contact w/ u just to have you around. Just in case she gets bored.

My advice is drastically reduce the contact you have w/ her. But dont completely cut her off. Then one day she'll get bored again and run back to what shes comfortable with...hopefully you ( if she hasn't already picked up another young in ).

In the mean time work on your game and get some girls your age and younger. You'll at least be in the same level or chapter in life.

best of luck :D

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 1:14 am 
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Do you really want a woman with baggage at your age?
She's got a lot more things stressing her than you realize. Sure it may be fun for her to fool around with a younger guy. But that gets old she's looking at the bigger picture what can you really do for her and her 2 kids. Do you want a relationship where you going to get married to her or is it just sex and the thrill of having an older woman?

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 2:12 am 
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Do you really want a woman with baggage at your age?
She's got a lot more things stressing her than you realize. Sure it may be fun for her to fool around with a younger guy. But that gets old she's looking at the bigger picture what can you really do for her and her 2 kids. Do you want a relationship where you going to get married to her or is it just sex and the thrill of having an older woman?
Hey EasyLover,

It's so ironic that the first to answer was you. I wasn't feeling your post towards the guy with the "HB10" in his history class, or whatever, I thought you came on strong with the "tough love" but I ignored it. Glad I did, hehe.

Anyways that's a great question, and I've thought about it from time to time. So what is it I want with her? I think I'm still not completely sure. In my own mind, I believe that if she lets me in and the relationship becomes at least a little deeper, I'll have a better picture of what I want out of it. That being said, it's frustrating how I seem to be going nowhere, or even backwards.

Anyways, maybe that's all I want for now, just the opportunity or chance that we all want when we like someone. I'd appreciate your response or advice from anyone else. Peace.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 2:36 am 
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eventhough shes still in her 20s I still sense from your story that she is a cougar. With the cougar mentality as it relates to younger guys is that they use them to have fun. She looked at you and your time together as fun. But once it went on for awhile she got bored and started to not have fun.

You are (not to sound like im putting you down) her entertainment. If shes stuck on the age thing ( which it sounds like she is) she wont look at you like youre a keeper. She looks at you as a quick entertainment (and sexual) fix. She'll keep in contact w/ u just to have you around. Just in case she gets bored.

My advice is drastically reduce the contact you have w/ her. But dont completely cut her off. Then one day she'll get bored again and run back to what shes comfortable with...hopefully you ( if she hasn't already picked up another young in ).

In the mean time work on your game and get some girls your age and younger. You'll at least be in the same level or chapter in life.

best of luck :D
Hey JUSTINcredible,

I understand what you mean, don't worry about the "put down," advice is advice. Yeah, I've seen it from your point of view too, it's always been in the back of my mind but hard to really admit when there are some feelings involved (at least from my end). I have reduced contact with her but not a whole lot has changed. Maybe I need to do it the way you said. "Drastically." I'll definitely give it thought. I especially like the last part of your post. :D


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 4:38 am 
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Hey EasyLover,

It's so ironic that the first to answer was you. I wasn't feeling your post towards the guy with the "HB10" in his history class, or whatever, I thought you came on strong with the "tough love" but I ignored it. Glad I did, hehe.
Hmmm did u find something offensive with my post??? Maybe I sparked some emotional trauma from your past experiences??? LOL

you should view some on my other post then hahaha

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 4:59 am 
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Quote:

Hey EasyLover,

It's so ironic that the first to answer was you. I wasn't feeling your post towards the guy with the "HB10" in his history class, or whatever, I thought you came on strong with the "tough love" but I ignored it. Glad I did, hehe.
Hmmm did u find something offensive with my post??? Maybe I sparked some emotional trauma from your past experiences??? LOL

you should view some on my other post then hahaha
Lol The other guy was clearly younger and brand new to the lifestyle, I just felt like you were telling him to man up and be someone he can only become with time, ya know?

I'll keep an eye out for your other posts. Maybe next time I'll call you on it hehe

:wink:


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