Ok, guys, would you use such a story for DHV and what would you change?

I went with two friends, girl1, girl2 and girl2's brother to the extreme park in (Location), just to do some zorbing. Unfortunately the zorb was broken, so the only purpose of the trip was wrecked, everybody was disappointed and wanted to leave for home the same day. But I didn't want to, I was in that unknown town at the foot of the mountain - I wanted to do something unusual. After a little dispute with the reasonable part of the group, the brother and the sister, we decidet to make camp in the wood. With the money we got we took 2 blankets, lanterns and stuff to eat and this seller told as of a penthouse in the wood. When we got there it was like heaven - there was a brooklet with some river crabs nearby, and 50 meter up the brooklet there was a waterfall falling off a vertical cliff, crowled by plants. The water fell into a pond, it was so pure and cristal, that we bathe in it, then I embraced the girls in front of the fire, so we can warm up. Than story-telling, childhood memories, relaxing music near the fire. I spend some of the night chatting with girl1, before we gave up to the emotions and SPAM of that magical place. And it was all like a fairy tale, like illusion - on the morning we went back to civilisation and everything was like before - the one thing left from that night is the blanket, I shared with girl1, but it only makes the memory more mystical and incredible. That was a precious night!