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I think, initially I am after attraction, then my ultimate goal is to create a close enough bond for the girl to desire me & for a second meet or depending on the situation a kiss and change of scenery.
I eventually just say I need to head off & hand over my phone for her to put her number in (usually the line "my friends are about to head off soon, so I should join them, but here, we can meet up again *hand phone*)
I think my effort isn't enough perhaps? I don't want to seem needy, but I feel I may be too at ease sometimes?
I'm unsure wheather I need to add more nega, have more stories ready and what not?
I feel I'm too much still of an AFC.
I feel like I'm an AFC, I tend to feel quite eager for attention, I love it and crave it, but am desiring healthy eye contact from women, new friends also.
I normally end up thinking the opposite of the women once I get to know them, no image no longer intimidates me, thankfully.
Thank you for your reply, what would you perhaps recommend I think about further?
hey man, so basically you just want some good convos that go well and some kisses, that's fair enough
first thing, relax, try not to worry about ''getting attraction'', instead if she talks to you, just assume she is already attracted and that is why she is talking to you, the less attracted to you she is, the less compliance she will give you, and attraction is not like a switch in my opinion, it is more like a thermometer, you can be somewhat attractive all the way to blazing hot, depending on what the girl values as attractive qualities in a man, if she is compliant enough to invest in a conversation with you, she is attracted to you, just know that, and even if she is really attracted, or barley attracted, you can always build on it, or reduce it, according to how much she likes you (personality), within reason
ok, so now you got the conversation, now what?, you want phone numbers and the conversations to go well, ok cool,
immidiately you should start testing for compliance, everything is a compliance test, you tell her she is hot and you want to talk to her (or what ever you do, you can start indirect requesting even less compliance so the set is more likely to open, but in my opinion if your only goal is to get laid, that is a waste of time, how ever if you are trying to make friends and just want to have fun and socialize, by all means, more sets will open for you, but less will go anywhere after hook), then stick around after you open, if she sticks around too and keeps talking, you have compliance, you say let me see your hand, let me show you something, she lets you do that, you have compliance, it all adds up and builds momentum, but more importantly it tells you the level that this girl is willing to invest, and you can play with it and test it from something as small as so tell me about yourself, all the way to let me poor honey all over you and take a dump on your chest while you cut off your own arms while singing the national anthem, compliance ranges all the way from little to no investment, all the way to huge investment, probably something as low as getting a girl to look at you, all the way up to getting her to kill herself for you, sex is probably somewhere in the middle of the range of compliance
ok, so now you have an idea of what compliance is, why is this important?
well, you want phone numbers and kisses, compliance will give you a better idea if you can have them or not at the current time, if the compliance is not high enough, you just have to keep working on her buying temperature (basically stimulate her so that the rewards outweigh the risks), how comfortable she is (handle dat asd), and build compliance at a lower level to make it seem like it is less of a big deal to allow for more, if a girl will do anything for you, let you touch her hand or what ever, anything at all, she will just do 1 thing for you, tell you about a specific thing, just any sign at all that she will do what you say, just assume you have enough compliance to get her number, now all that is left is put her into a good mood before you close so she feels good about it, if you have both of those checked off, you are good to go for the phone number (it also can help you to just ask for dates instead of numbers, that way when she agrees you have more investment from her end, and she will feel more obligated to comply with her own investment after qualifying herself to it)
ok, now that you have your easy out for the number, what about having the conversation go well, this falls back again to levels of investment, start small and build build build, at first you want to test if she is willing to invest, that way you can just walk away from non-compliant sets that will end in a rejection or a flake anyways, once she does her part and shows a willingness to invest, then it is time for you to do some work and take the investment off her shoulders, and get her into a good mood (easy as having her assosiate positive emotions to you, and if you are happy, she will eventually be happy also just being around you), after that you just have to make her comfortable with you and form a good connection, as long as you know she is attracted to you and all you have to do is make the connection with her as strong as possible as well as sell her on the idea of seeing you again, then you are golden, because you won't be needy about it, and you won't be supplicating looking for approval or reaction seeking looking for approval, you will just assume you have approval and act accordingly, but this is internal, it is not a trick or a technique, you just actually have to feel that way
as long as you have that want for validation and attention, that want for her to like you, you will find you have trouble, you will overgame and overthink things, overcompensate, or hold yourself back out of fear of not doing or saying the right thing, there is no ''right thing'', you being comfortable and fun to be around and socially well ajusted is more important then the words that you say, rather the emotions and intent behind your words speaks volumes about you more then the words themselves, instead of focusing on the words you are saying, simply focus on entertaining yourself by using her behavior for your own fun, she does something positive, reward her, she does something negative, make fun of her or toss a false disqualifier at her (tease don't insult), doing this alone and practising giving people positive and negative validation for doing things you like or dis-like will help you become more socially ajusted, try to find the enjoyment out of socializing, if you don't do it for enjoyment then it turns into a chore and you will base your own self worth off of your results, if this is the case you will hit highs when you are validated and lows when you are not, your game will suffer greatly as a result, one negative slump can throw you off for a long time if this is you, if your intent when you go in to a set is to get something out of her, rather then to give something to her, then your whole interaction will be under the wrong frame and subtley she will feel it, it is the difference between a feeling of worthiness and a feeling of unworthiness, if you feel worthy, you will simply think, meh she looks cute, if she is fun to talk to Ill try and give her a good makeout session, while when you feel unworthy it is more likely you are in your head thinking, OMG OMG, I hope this girl will talk to me, I'm soo nervous what if she rejects me?, If I say or do this will she let me have her number?, If I asked her for a kiss right now would she give it to me? it is mostly internal, the external will follow suite as a result of your perception of reality (frame)
as for adding more negs or stories, instead of thinking about it like girls are some sort of robots that takes x amount of negs, and x amount of storys to give x amount of blowjobs, shift into just watching behavior, if a girl gives some compliance and opens, but then starts to slowly lose interest in investing, that is bad behavior, toss a rapport break at her, or a neg to get her attention back so she focuses on you if a girl is dis-qualifying you but still compliant, same thing, don't react to her shit for her approval, just either false dis-qualify yourself (thus dis-qualifying her, if she is insecure and insterested she will re-qualify herself)
breaks in rapport (negs included), are meant to grab a girls attention, and false disqualifers (in the form of negs), are meant to allow you to pass through any guard a girl puts up out of insecurity, she might find you attractive, but at first she is skeptical because you randomly just approached her in a way she is not used to, so naturally she puts up her guard, if the guard is really defensive, dis-qualifying yourself (under the frame where she knows it's bullshit), can help you pass through the guard, it is as simple as using negative validation to just keep her invested long enough for her to become comfortable with you and let the guard down, use negs etc. on girls who think they are too good to give you their attention, or who are giving you negative attention to test you (if they dis-qualify you, you dis-qualify them), another time to use rapport breaks is when things are becomming really dry and bland, when rapport is just being built and things are becomming stagnant, just break rapport to introduce some new tension but make sure it is socially intelligent to do so, if it feels naturally, it probably is only experience can help you make good calls on that one
now for the stories, dhv stories are meant to build a social perseption, mystery outlined leader of men, pre-selection, willingness to emote, and protector of loved ones, it is simple really, basically mystery advocates telling stories about girls, having fun with guys as the main guy, and standing up for your friends, why?, because most stories you can tell that fall under those lines place you in a positive light and will be somewhat interesting to listen to, and if you add the fourth dhv in, and tell your stories and really emote them and run them off with passion, it hooks you into the story more, it is just like if you were a comedian, you tell a joke, get some laughs you know a funny joke, tell alot of jokes, get alot of laughs, you are a funny person, same thing with dhv stories, tell a story keep people captivated and interested, you know one good captivating and interesting story, tell alot of interesting and captivating stories, and you are an interesting and captivating person, it just happens that ''dhv's'' tend to create stories that are interesting and most often put yourself in a good light, the problem with this is some guys think just qualifying themselve with ''dhv's'' will somehow make them seem cooler, not nessicarily under the wrong frame the girl will lose ''attraction'' if anything, you are not bragging about yourself, you are telling cool interesting stories that relate to the situation, the stories just happen to present yourself as a cool and interesting person worth spending time with
and to be honest, you don't even need dhv stories, or negs, you can go 100% on intent, qualification, compliments, teasing, and just sitting back connecting on commonalities and random fluff while building compliance, the most improtant part of the pickup is the frame of mind you have going into it, confidence is everything, and when you feel competent, you will feel confident
just make a habbit out of talking to more and more girls all the time, eventually when it is a habbit, you will develop things you just tend to say and do over and over, that is your routine, just keep improving it and going out, the more effort you put into it, the more results you will see
GOOD LUCK
CHAT