Hi all.
I have been reading this forum and other PUA stuff for a while now (ever since a friend introduced me to the concept). I have recently started to apply the material and f-closed 3 girls in a month (with a combination of routines, natural gaming and kino) - not a huge number but work keeps me busy and I mostly tender to my new-found pick-up skils during the weekends.
I would be pretty happy with the current situation and keep the fun going. If not for one of these girls, J.
J and I "click" in that sort of perfect way that I had only experienced once before in my life. It is awesome to be around her. She and I have dated and fucked for a month now. There is sex (lots of it), so she is definitely not a case of oneitis.
I am also seeing and f***ing another girl at the same time, S. (other good indicator I am not into a oneitis I guess)
S "works" like a normal girl would.. once I got past ASD and LMR and had sex with her on two separate occasions, she started being somewhat clingy (not enough to be annoying) and very affectionate and you can easily tell she is most certainly going to deliver the "Talk" at some point.
J is totally not like that. Very low ASD, no LMR. J can be sweet, but the difference in behavior is obvious: all the usual telltale signals of we've-had-sex-now-you-are-a-significant-part-of-my-life-and-special-to-me are not there.. she will tell me how I am adorable, amazing, awesome.. but not in the same clingy way that S would tell me I am "nice and should not change"
Sunday we were in bed and she started crying and we talked about it and it led to a conversation about relationships and how she should not be afraid of hurting me/getting hurt by me and when the time will be right she should just let herself go.
Foolish me, I assumed we were somehow approaching the "Talk".. but since my gut kept telling me otherwise, I decided to investigate. Through some (not very noble) means I found out that J is actually dating more than just me, is also quite open to start dating new people and is basically vetting a bunch of potential candidates for a LTR. I could not tell if I am part of that set of candidates or just a backup FWB (the fact that she introduced me to a few of her friends and her sister knows about me would hint the former, but I am trying to stop making assumptions).
After I got to know that, I casually told her about a girl who had messaged me something funny on a dating site, and she seemed all happy(!) that we could be open about talking to other people and reassured that I was not into anything exclusive. I was pretty explicit about denying it (to the point of sounding slightly harsh) - but still after that we spoke about another entirely unrelated and very personal (for her) topic and she was like "you're so amazing and mature".
This morning she sent a little cute good morning email as if nothing happened.
We are now planning to meet on Saturday.

The question is, obviously, how do I get J to be my girlfriend?
Usual advice, keep gaming girls, keep fucking other girls, doing all that..

while waiting for advice, I guess the best thing to do is have a chick come home... I have convinced M to come say hi.
Put up some resistance about a book reading but then complied. First date was pretty normal.. Curious to see if I can k-close tonight.

Be careful man. You are falling for a girl who is sexually open. Don't confuse her liberalness with love. I've fallen in this trap a million times. Don't try and make her enter a relationship. It seems to me like she is seeing other guys and she feels guilty about hurting your feelings.

Game tends to get you sex. Relationships are a different story. You can't game a girl into a relationship unless she would have done so anyway and you just eased it along. I could give you advice that would get her to go out with you, problem is there is still the other guys and her unwillingness to commit. It wouldn't last. Trust me man; after many, many two week relationships ending in disaster, I'd just let things slide. A short relationship with her would be a serious hindrance to your game. Women can smell heartbreak. You'll end up coming back here with oneitus, too needy to bother or be able to pick up other women.

Like I said it's happened to me lots. I might even enter a relationship soon but it's different circumstance. She isn't seeing other guys.

Relationships are a risk.

I hope somebody else pipes up who has had some meaningful healthy relationships. I'm more of a ladies man. It's hard for me to settle down.

She getting out with me is not a problem. She getting me laid is not a problem. Those are the easy parts (really.. I should probably write a report on how I got her into my bed on our first date, it's been funny and easy). Hard part is getting her to commit.
The strange thing is I asked about getting her to commit, but still I agree with you. Some little bell inside my brain tells me those exact words: get laid for a while and then let go. The reason why I ignored the bell is I have felt a strong "clicking" feeling with this girl, and considered her GF material because of it.

I enjoy the newfound power of the whole pick-up thing, it's cool that I k-closed a girl half an hour ago and will probably k-f/close one or two more in the next week. But in the end I am good BF material. I know I will play this game for a while and then settle down with a reasonably good candidate.

J isn't that.. too bad. The one thing I totally do not want is a oneitis on a previous girlfriend. I have been there and that is not a good place to be.

status update on this. we are hanging out Saturday (she asked me out - I just complied). 90% she sleeps over, putting up some resistance/excuse but it feels like she wants to sleep over and just needs to let it happen

I feel like I have a much stronger ASD towards here.. we are sexting and planning a bunch of sexual games we will play (and I am casually negging her), but I feel a much much lower emotional attachment than I did a few days ago. plus I am gaming another chick this afternoon which helps me not focus too much.

life is good, oneitis is bad