So I would love to hear if some of you have anything funny in response to "what did you do last night/weekend etc..". I'd love to see some short and funny lines, the more random the better

ur mom

fought crime. did any in ur family die last night? (no) u can thank me for that.

i dreamt about u last night. how the hell did u get in there already?? are u doing voodoo on me?

i was with my friend, (girls name). do u wnat me to be honest and get into really really graphic detail about what happened? (no) okay. we played scrabble. it was so wild and HOT that we smoked a cigarette right after.

PS: 3rd post. i'm no longer really fearing u guys rejecting my comments much anymore. i feel 10 feet tall and can approach any thread right now!

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have u ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Thats what the police asked too.

I was spanking Mel Gibson.

Playing Speed Metal at the retirement home.

What am I doing now?

Who wants to know?

Who sent you?

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

if she asks, automaticly make a big smile (as if you remembered funny things) and say, nothing special...

Two hookers, an 8-ball, and a bottle of jack.

I dont know i was hoping you would fill in the blanks

I got a new job, driving round turning on the street lamps of a night time with a remote

If I told you , id have to kill you

Thats between me and your mum


I think it would be better if you found out through channel 5 news


I found out that 9v batteries hurt when you lick them ... the hard way


Oh god i didnt sleep walk in on you naked as well did i ?


Not much , got married , got divorced... that's tequila for you


I dont know but somehow i ended up in a banana costume ( true story haha )


I Lost my car and theese gay germans are after some device off me , so i gave them a dildo , Shibby !

Lovin' it guys. Lots of great stuff here, just what I was looking for.

"ask me that tomorrow and I'll say 'you'..."