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I think your first text convo was not too gd tbh lol. However my direct game isnt great so I'm not too experienced in that area.
But your second one was OK. You just shouldn't have said the last line the way you did.
'So next time you're in town we should refresh some memories k?'
Instead you should have just said.
You: Well next time your around get in touch (NO QUESTION MARK)
Also if girls are agreeing to hang out with you try and arrange something at the time. Think of somthin to to - anything mundane like chilling out in the sun with some friends etc.
i don't exactly know what you mean by gd tbh. But i do agree with learning to phrase things differently.