Hi guys,
I would really appreciate your opinion. Here's my situation, I am brilliant at getting
girls numbers and getting dates. But, I cannot stop myself from ruining the dates by
being too tense.

I am tense because, I am worried that I will run out of things to talk about.
I am uncomfortable with silences. I dont know how to come across as relaxed
I worry about not kissing the girl, and the build up to the attempt to kiss her.

I had a conversation with a girl last night, met at the gym week ago, went for a drink
last Friday night, the place was really noisy so I was trying to keep eye contact but she
couldnt hear me kept giving me her ear. So it was making me tense. Anyway yesterday spoke to
her and she was like, your are beautiful, but I expected you to be more calm.

Tell me guys, how do I destroy this part of my game thats messing my life up... Even if you
can tell how to appear more chilled? Do I have bigger pauses in conversation??

in order to be perceived as being relaxed, you have to have relaxed open body language. when sitting on a chair you can lean back, open gestures etc. but an important aspect of making someone comfortable with you is your energy level. obviously when you start an interaction with a girl you energy must be slightly higher than theirs but as you move in more into the interaction you must bring your energy level much lower to much theirs. another way of making people feel comfortable and attracted to you is using NLP in terms of mirroring their body language, hand gestures and verbally through the speed, tone of their speech and the frequent key words that they use.

you can make someone feel comfortable by making them do most of the talking. people are always comfortable about talking about themselves in an expressive manner. in order to do this you must ask the right open-ended questions and be empathetic when connecting with her. also the content of what you guys are talking about is really important. talk about things which are rich in emotional content that the girl is connected to, or she can feed off your energy and emotions when you're talking about something that you are passionate about.

doing kino is another way of building a comfortable vibe. start off slow and then you build it up. a great way that i like to build playfullness and comfort is my play children hand games like thumb war, slaps or other kino tests. they put the girls at ease and they get to have fun with you.

silence are not as bad as you think, they be of a great advantage to you. they are great for building some sexual tension as well as giving you two a break from talking. one cant be expected to talk for 2 hours straight right lol?

another thing which is important is the place that you take the girl to. it's best to start off the date in a relaxed place where the energy is low and you guys can actually hear each other. and then you can move location to a high energy environment where you guys can have fun e.g. dancing to increase the sexual tension.

but the most important tip i can give is to have a 'dont give a shit attitude', then you wont be as nervous about anything that you do and you will be more focused on your game.

hope that i have helped. happy gaming dude

I'm gonna make it simple. Just lean back, tell funny story about antything it really doesn't matter. The thing is You need to belive in this story and say it slow - low voice and very exciting tone after you finish ask her about her story - it should be in one category for example ( You know what? Yesterday I saw people who were dancing on the street in roman uniforms that was very interesting (tell about some details) then ask her if she worn any uniforms for a party. It's just creativity, man!