Background story:

I'm pretty attracted to this girl, I'm actually beginning to develop strong feelings for her, which is bad... I hate falling in love with girls. I think about her far too much and I always lose my edge when I'm around her.

But anyway, we've known each other for a while, like a year or two. But we started to get a lot closer this summer, and that's when I started to have feelings for her. We've hung out a good amount in the past few months, we party a lot, we talk a lot and sometimes flirt with each other on gmail too.

She's extremely shy and very sweet. She's never had a boyfriend before, and from what I understand she's not manipulative and not very complex. She gives me the vibe that she's interested in me... but I still can't get anywhere with her.

She sometimes tells me that I'm really cute, her favorite, and that she wants to marry me and etc... which makes me think she might be into me, but I can't tell if she really means it or not. Last weekend we were drunk together in a club, and we were with each other the entire time. We held hands and locked fingers sometime, and while we were dancing I kissed her on the cheek and neck and she kisses me back... but when I tried to kiss her on the lips she moves away. I think I've tried a couple of times when we were drunk, and while I was certain that I would be able to kiss her, she's always moved away... and it pisses me off.

Questions:

1) How can I tell if she's just being sweet, or if she actually has interest in me?

2) What are some things I can ask her to find out more about her personality, what type of guys she's into, and what she thinks about me without being direct?

3) Would it be bad if I tried to kiss her again when we go out? How would you change the routine?

4) I'm planning to get drunk w/ her this weekend. I was thinking of just telling her how I feel, something like this:
"I'm really attracted you for some reason and if u were my gf I'd be the happiest guy in the world... but if you think there's no chance then tell me so I can start getting over you"

^ Do you think that's too much? Will it ruin our relationship if she doesn't feel that way? I would normally never say this but keep in mind that she's given me a few verbal IOI's, she's never had a bf before, and she's a sucker for sweet lines. So Isn't it good to be open about your feelings sometimes? I hate playing the neg game... I just wanna make her feel good.

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So yea, any advice would be appreciated. I don't just wana f-close her, I actually wouldn't mind dating her. I want her to like me, and I hope I haven't been led on by her kindness.

Thnx!

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Some people are like slinkys, not really good for anything but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

It sounds like you've been friendzoned. Obviously I can't be there and know your exact situation but from what you're typing that would be my assumption. Whenever a girl says things like they want to marry you, you're cute, etc. and you have known them for a long time, they're just happy you're there from them.

Now, the possibility of getting with her is always there but it's going to be hard. I would personally go out drinking with her and some friends and invite an HB8 or 9 if you have one around. Talk to your friend, then flirt with the HB8. See how far you can push this and notice if your friend is getting uneasy by you physically escalating, kissing, or gaming the other girl. This would be a pretty good indicator that she is into you.

Also, I would advise you to NOT let your feelings be known how you expressed them. Just for the simple reason that if she feels awkward then your whole friendship's dynamic will likely change.

Good luck, post your results in this thread!

Showing is better than telling. Rather than tell her what your feelings are, show her. Go for the kiss when you drink with her. If she moves away, here's what you do:

"Oh yeah my bad, I forgot you're not like that." then immediately move away without giving her a chance to respond. Start flirting with another girl in the area, be animated and happy, demonstrate that the rejection didn't affect you. The original girl will be left by herself, overanalyzing your vague statement and trying to figure out what you think of her. If she tries to interact with you, do so in a "friend zone" sort of way, like she's lost her chance. A friendly, platonic high five can feel like a slap after you've just been touching her intimately. If she's into you, you'll start getting tons of IOIs a little later in the night, she may aggressively go for the kiss. If she's not, you've finally started to act the way she wants you to, and you have yourself a friend!

How much experience do you have with pick up? Are you kino escalating well and do your kiss attempts feel natural?

(Also I got into Vin DiCarlo's Pandora's Box system and it gives me a little bit of insight on this girl particularly. Note that I haven't met this girl, so it's possible that none of this section is true for her. She may be a Denier, characteristics of which include that she's less willing to have sex, more likely to wait until later dates to get sexual, but also comfortable with rejecting someone a few times in the mean time before accepting their advances. This seems like the way it should go to Deniers, and being rejected will not affect your chances. Keep in mind that this may not be true for her and not knowing when to stop your advances will appear unattractive to any girl.)

Hey guys, thanks for the advice! I don't know why I even considered telling her I like her lol. I just realized how bad that would be. Yea I guess I just need to progressively be more seductive and build more sexual tension


And yea... I definitely didn't kino escalate as well and my kissing attempt did not seem natural at all... but it's ok I was really drunk too. But each time I come to these forums I learn something new! I'll let you guys know if I get her

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Some people are like slinkys, not really good for anything but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.