Another unintentionally long post... I'm a girl, though! It's what we do...

I have heard this from several people through out the years. I'm curious if it's true that men have a two day rule about phone calls or texting. No reply all of the sudden when he has already been texting me. Not much, granted, this is still very new. Not even a week and I have only texted him three times. First was reply to his saying he had a lot of fun and wanted to see me again. I said I had a good time, too and maybe. Second was Happy 4th from me, he replied the same. Third was me with are you going to ask me out already? Too direct, maybe? I've already k closed twice with him and we have established shared interest. He keeps trying push-pull, but I'm not budging. If he pushes, I push back and also initiate some pushing of my own.

As for what may look worse than it is, I went out with a friend to the same bar I met this guy at. He works there as a bouncer and the night I met him (Friday) was his first night. (this encounter is here fr-my-first-attempt-at-being-an-amateur ... 95129.html ) We went back Sunday and I told him I was going before I went. That one was through phone call, lasted a few minutes and I ended it short.
So Sunday I was approached a lot. One guy in particular seemed fine with the idea of an attempted friendship and we have been texting as possible friends. When he approached me, though, he was hitting on me and asking for my number within minutes. I told him I was flattered (He is probably an 8, while the bouncer is a 9), but that I was only flirting with 'that handsome man right over there' and I pointed. He says that he knows him because he works there during the day. He had pulled out his phone while asking for my number and I told him that would make it a little weird for me if I came to see someone else and gave him my number. He instead looks me up on facebook and sends a friend request with a 'just in case you change your mind.'
Bouncer is staring hard at this interaction (so my friend informs me when he leaves). It takes him less than five minutes to be next to me after the other guy is gone. I knew what he was thinking, so to head it off I said that I knew it looked bad, but I didn't give him my number. He misunderstood what I said the first time and says 'yes, I saw you give him your number.' I reiterated and I also told him that I told the other guy I was there to see him. He exhales a deep breath and says 'You didn't?' I shake my head no and he says 'good, because I already told everyone you were here for me, too.'
I get lots of looks when I'm out, I can't control that! And most men enjoy gaining my attention, he seemed no different. So why the cold shoulder all of the sudden??
Back to what looks bad... I got a text a few hours ago asking me if I am going out tonight and would like to meet up from the second guy. Again, just as friends!! I have made that very clear by responding to his fb request with I won't accept until I know you understand what I am looking for and can respect that. He says yes and sends me his number. So we have been talking for the past couple of days.
I do really want to be friends with the guy, he seems very nice and pretty interesting. The problem is that he wants to go back to the same place. What if the bouncer is working? What if he gets the wrong idea? Or should I use this to my advantage and make him jealous? I really don't know if I could do the last one because I don't do well with dishonesty and that is what it would be. I also wouldn't want to use my new possible friend like that right off the bat. That's pretty shady.
So, what the hell do I do with this??
There is a little more that may or may not be significant...
I went out to smoke at one point and second guy follows me out within a minute without being invited. My friend sees and tells the bouncer he should probably check on me. I'm tiny, everyone worries needlessly.
Bouncer is out in less than two minutes. As soon as the second guy comes up to me, my friend has texted me (I really don't understand the drama women try to create for the record, this seems silly and over reacting to me) that he is following me out and had ^5 his friend before following me. I told him to give me just a second so I can call my friend. I was trying to tell her it was fine, but she didn't pick up. As soon as I start my call, he goes and talks to some other people he seems to know in the other direction, well away from me. Bouncer doesn't say anything to me besides zoom, zoom (I drive a miata) and goes directly to guy number two. There seemed to be a little tension there, so I scoot in while they are distracted with each other and try to forget the whole thing. BTW, guy number two saw the bouncer come up to me several times to touch or kiss me before following me out, but after asking for my number.

"Are you going to ask me out already?" Is a great line I have used many times with excellent success. Don't worry about it.

It seems to me like the bouncer guy likes you. Congrats! But I would definitely say that Guy #2 likes you too. You're just too popular.

Just kidding. Seriously, though, G2 may become a problem. You've explained it to him twice, but he may think you're "playing hard to get". I would make sure that you explain to the bouncer exactly what's going on, then see what happens on your date with G2. I would do this by texting Bouncer, and since he knows G2, ask him what kind of guy G2 is, because you're not interested in him, but are afraid he may try something, or that you want to set him up with someone else. Make it clear to Bouncer what's going on. Very clear.

I'm getting all turned around referring to these guys (as well as the fact they're guys ) as G2 and Bouncer. What do you guys think? HD8 and HD9 for "Hot Dude"? Haha!

HA HA!! I wasn't sure what to call them, either! I thought of going with Thing 1 and Thing 2, but I can go with HD

I am pretty sure that I made it abundantly clear by immediately telling him I did not give him my number and was only interested in chatting him up. Did the same after the outside incident by telling him I don't like drama and I am really not worth the hassle, but still very sweet of him to try to 'rescue' me. I also made a good show of flirting with him from a distance (he was working! can't chat me up all night) by being provocative with my assets across the bar. For instance, I needed a refill on my water and he was a few feet away behind the bar. I sat up straighter as soon as he looked at me, made sure I had eye contact and used my arms to push my cleavage together in front of my water glass. I looked down while I was doing that and ran my fingers across the edge of my top and then looked back at him and smiled so he knew I was doing something directed at him. If he wanted to see what I was doing, he was going to have to move the glass... and then I got my water

According to my friend, HD8 was giving his rapt attention as well and didn't seem too happy that it wasn't directed at him. Shortly after the water glass thing, he came around the bar and complimented my technique. Right before he left, he tapped his finger on his cheek and I went to oblige him by kissing it. Of course, he turned at the last second and landed it just right.

For the record guys, women LOVE this move. It is sweet, playful and shows plenty of interest with out being over bearing. Make sure the girl is into you enough to not mind, though! That can be a huge step back if she wasn't into the idea.

Also, I wouldn't be able to do any of this with out you guys and your great advice! I may not have all of my confidence back, but I have learned to make a good show of it by listening and reading whatever I can that you guys post. So, thank you! It's working!!! (and again, holy shit it's working!!!!)

Ah! Forgot the rest....

You already are not the first to think that HD8 is still going to try. I'm willing to give him a chance and if it doesn't work, his loss. I'm a great person to have as a friend!

Also, I wouldn't be able to ask HD9 about HD8. Yes, HD8 said that he knew the other, but when HD9 came out and went up to HD8, I heard HD8 say, 'so, you must be -----'. I'm thinking he fibbed a little. They knew of each other I have since found out, but had not officially met.

You are right, bouncer and other guy would have made that 10x longer!

Turned out HD9's phone got busted at the lake. It looked awesome. Saw them both Thursday night and it was a little disconcerting. 8 wouldn't really talk to me, but no problems approaching our group and 'man flirting' or what ever you call dudes dancing goofy and hugging, with 9 while 9 was telling me how much he dislikes 8 and hugging back. You guys confuse me with your antics sometimes

Still seems like more trouble than it's worth, but 9 is really sweet and respectful. We had a lot of fun that night, though the end was more than a little disappointing. How common is stage fright for men, anyway? I have never been asked to be still so he could concentrate.

8 is getting the boot for repeatedly asking for naked pictures.... 4 days in a row.