Can anyone work this HB out??



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 5:58 am 
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I'll try and make this brief but give you all the necessary details.

I go to College and through mutual friends met HB. At the time she had a boyfriend. They since broke up and I used some game to try develop a rapport with her. She was friendly enough at parties and told me how she doesn't like giving out her number to guys but I was able to convince her otherwise :)

When I texted her two days later she was "Glad that I texted her". We texted a bit and flirted a lot at parties. However, she would always blow me off for dates. Too busy etc. She is very sporadic with texting. Sometimes replies in waves sometimes not for days. I asked her about it and she said she was just notoriously bad at texting. Okay.... (Later saw this bad texting in person. Who reads a text and puts down their phone then two hours later is like shit i forgot to text back)

I didn't put too much effort into her, because i had heard that she likes to play games with guys and I wasn't going to have that. At the same time, I love talking with her and she's sexy as FXXX.

We were at a club and we were both drunk and I decided to call her out.

ME: "Are you playing me"
HB: "No, not at all, why would you say that?"
ME: "Because you have a funny way of showing you like me"
(She knew what I was getting at)

Blah blah blah. then I thought fuck it. and reached for her hand which she held and then kissed her. It was great until the point where she ran away and left the bar with her friends.

A week later we met at a bar again and had a full on make out session. But the days after that nothing.... No replying to text. nothing.

I was going away for a week at christmas break and was able to go see her at her place the night before I left. It was great, she was shy but delightful company. I made her smile and we made out. She questioned me.

HB: "What am I doing with you? You're a player"
Me: (Like a dumbass) "No i'm not!"
HB: "Yes you are"
Me: "No i'm not, let me prove you wrong"
HB (Smiles)

BOOM! I was kind of proud of that line and thought we were good to go. I want to date this girl and thought we were making good ground.

Then it goes sideways. She blows me off when i get back. Said she was sick, our mutual friend confirmed this fact. when I asked her how she was, no response. WHen i texted her 3 days later asking to meet up over break, no response. 5 DAYS later she texts me just saying "Hi AussiePrince". I delay and text her back and we talk all night until she just stopped.

No reply the next day, or 3 days later. (I wasn't being overly forward or coming off as harrasive. So I was like F*** it, i'm not going to text you either. I got drunk and texted her on new years eve. She replied once and then stopped.

I gave her a week and tried one last time.

ME: "Hey, how has your week been? I would like to come down and take you out to dinner this week. When are you free?
HB: "Heyyy, I'm good just really busy this week sorry"

I didn't write back and this is where we're at?

What the F*** is going on here? I know she is attracted to me. I know she likes my company, we are both athletes at the same school and both in the same year,even though i'm a couple years older than her.

The only thing I can think of is that she doesn't want a BF right now and doesn't know how to say that. She is still talking to her Ex? or that she is just busy and is a retard at texting. We go back to school in a week and I will see her. How do I act and what do I say to her.
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 5:19 pm 
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thats some complicated shit haha. I've had experiences like that and I never know what the fuck is going on. gimme an update if anything happens


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 6:40 pm 
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wow that is a complicated situation. Seems like she's still at the stage as most girls come to, where they are attracted to the bad boys and yet not looking for a stable relationship at the moment. You're just letting her mess around with you and you're not doing anything about it, like criticizing or calling her out (making her have DLV and you have DHV). You may have built a degree of rapport with her but maybe you havent created enough impact in a different way in terms of you bringing out the persona that u r an alpha male. May be she is used to you showing approval of her (positive validation) but you also need to show her that you're not impressed with what she is doing (negative validation). A mixture of positive and negative validation (push pull technique), negging and teasing can create impact and fast attraction, showing that you have high standards and that she has to work to gain your approval and not the other way around.

dont be so quick to saying that she's attracted to you without being completely sure. HBs are beings of high calibre and known IOIs may be generated automatically by HBs and may be not genuine IOIs.

so maybe when you see her, tell her your perception of her, show that u do not approve of her messing you around and that you are a man that deserves respect. women test men all the time to get an idea of their interest, you can do the same with her. in order for you to know whether she is truly interested in you, you disqualify her being your girlfriend by saying that you do not think that you and her will ever work and you're not going to contact her again.

hopefully this would enable for you to find out her level of interest in you. if she is interested in you in the end, hope everything works out. if she is not,at least you found the answer and you can move on and find another girl.

Hope that i have helped. Happy gaming dude ;-)


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:49 am 
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if she is not,at least you found the answer and you can move on and find another girl.
thanks MJ21 Good idea's. she is definitely a tough cookie to crack, but that's what makes her so attractive to do. Damn the male mind. I'll keep you guys posted in the next week or so.

thanks again for taking to time to share.

AP

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:16 am 
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Pretty simple to me - she likes you but she's not looking for a boyfriend.

And she's avoiding you because she's worried you want to be her boyfriend.

If you just have a talk that let's you both know where you stand, she'll be much more comfortable and even be calling you up for sex, cause she knows you're no risk.


First hint is those people said she likes to play with guys.

Second, she's done heaps of stuff with you, but then goes cold - that's her liking you but worrying if you're going to get attached.

I like to have these conversations early on, if you can direct the conversation to a point where you can ask "Do you enjoy being single?" and then you both get to talk about your views on the matter so you both know where you stand.

Once you've made it adamant you're not looking for an actual girlfriend, she will feel so much more comfortable around you.

Have to take it easy though, it may be kinda difficult to get a proper phone call if she's already trying to avoid you. Would help to be direct.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:32 pm 
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I think you're right Conker. I forgot to add another thing that she admitted to me. She told me that I was only the 3rd guys she has ever kissed. She seem genuine and admitted to having sex with her past two long term boyfriends.
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can direct the conversation to a point where you can ask "Do you enjoy being single?" and then you both get to talk about your views on the matter so you both know where you stand.
This is a good idea, I hadn't figured out how to bring this up. I don't really want a girlfriend but who knows in the future. I just want a chance to get to know her better and the benefits that go along with that :)

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