I met an interesting girl first year grad student (22) HB 8 and I'm 22 the other day. My job required me to sit for hours and be there if college students had computer issues and often things were slow. She worked in the same area of the dorms as well and she'd say hello a lot and I'd find her looking at me ect and I'd look back for a few seconds. The first time she came over and talked to me for a bit and things went well.

Anyway she'd continue to say hello during the week I worked there but she was often busy with her stuff.

However my last night of working there 2 nights ago (job ended) she came over and we talked for 30+ minutes during the last hour of my job and I felt we had a lot in common. She mentioned how she was new to the school and I have been there almost 4 years ect and how she likes football and I like football and I really felt we had a lot in common.

I made sure to watch her body language and I was getting tons of IOI's she'd hold my gaze and I'd hold her's and she'd look away ect. Smile a lot. Sit facing me ect. and just seemed comfy.

The key IOI I noticed is that the whole time she was with me she'd fiddle with her name tag ect. of which she pointed it out when she caught me noticing. I just said I have the same kind ect. and took mine off.

She was really outgoing and sort of confident as well.

When the topic of bar's and restuaruants down town came where's the best ect (since she's new) I said why don't we meet up sometime (at my favorite) and she said alright and agreed and we exchanged numbers and said good night. I texted her later the next day (I didn't call because I know she often left her phone in her office/room) saying if she'd be down for dinner Tuesday evening at that bar at such and such place around 7pm, she said she'd get back to me on that since she has to check her schedule (she has a semi busy job in the dorms) and I said "alrighty" .However we both talked about how our course schedules are light this semester ect.

Basically here's how it went:

Me: Hey is this (her name)?

her: Yep

Me: Cool, you know who I am right?

her: my name

Me: lol yea but you can call me (nickname) ....{we had name tags and never formally exchanged names}

Her: Ok!

Me: Ok! {wasn't sure how to handle that}

30 minutes passes


Me: Anyway, change of plans, I have to work tomorrow from 6pm to 9pm but it's my last day, does (bar name) on Tuesday @ 7?

Her: Let me get back to you, I'm still not sure when I have all my meetings.

Me: Alrighty

It's been more than 24 hours. Should I ask again in a day or two and just say "grab a quick ice cream on campus" or just leave it and move on?


It's a shame to move on because I felt like things clicked so well in person and that doesn't happen very often when it comes to girls. I remember one time she mentioned she was an INTJ and I was like oh I'm an INTP ect. I thought we had a lot in common and she seemed very interested from what I could tell in person.

It's been almost a year since I last had a day two after getting a # since I'm normally a busy student with a job ect. So I am pretty rusty.

What should I do?

Tips for next time?

What if she responds?

Should I wait a day or two and say something?

Should I just randomly say something funny?

I was thinking waiting another day or two for her to get back to me (probably won't) and then calling/texting her saying one of these options.

Option 1: "I'm going to get an ice cream at such and such place, your welcome to join" (most likely option if I choose to)

Option 2: "Never mind, your obviously too shy it's not like I was asking you on a date." (or something similar)

Option 3: Random text saying "I have a free plane ticket to Miami, wanna join?" (or a joke along those lines)

Option 4: "If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?"

Option 5: Nothing at all and just move on.


Which option seems best?

It's been over 48 hours and she still hasn't got back to me. So this is what I did,

I just sent a text saying "I just saw something that reminded me of you" as a last ditch effort.

If no response I'm moving on.

I just thought that opener might be the most probable to elicit a response from her.

Maybe there's a chance the text didn't go through last time or this time (very unlikely though). Maybe I'll wait until next week and then just call her to to see if her phone still exists even.

If she doesn't respond I think this is dead in the water but I'd like to hear any opinions of what I did wrong initially. Everything just seemed perfect the night I met her (both sober) and she just totally went cold the next morning?

I know what the game says about "oneitis" but this girl just clicked it's unfortunate.

Oh well, any other tips?

You let this go cold - you're gonna have to wait till you meet her again. Reviving it even with a phone call might be hard at this point, if she doesn't pick up and you have to call a few times.

Reason being - wtf is with all the texting, everyone always texts and then wonders why their target goes cold. You can't convey your personality, and remind her of what it was like to talk to you, in a text! Leaving her phone in the office is no excuse - call when you know she's home, eg Sunday night or any weeknight. If she doesn't pick up, personally I don't leave a voice message or text, the first time. 2nd time I will leave a voice message as a last ditch effort.

The other thing you're doing wrong is behaving like you're walking on thin ice. Not attractive. The conversation should just be you starting things, whatever you want to do - usually a joke about what you talked about is good, to remind her of the time you spent together. This can even be in a text. but dont' fall into the PUA advice trap of acting too ballsy - showing confidence is not the same as putting on too much of a cocky facade - the latter is spotted a mile away. Confidence doesn't mean acting like you're worth more than the other person, it just means doing what you want, which is usually encouraging the other person to have a fun time.

It's your mindset that's causing you to come up with these weird texts.
Eg. "Saw something that reminded me of you" and left it at that - wtf - what would you think if you were a girl and you read that from a guy you just met.
Eg. "Hey is this (name)" - like you assumed she gave a fake number. Her reply is pretty stale "Yep" cause she read that feeling in your txt. Then again "You know who I am, right?" She should fucking know, you just swapped numbers.

Practice just talking to girls till you're not afraid to just say what you want.

Thanks for the advice, she hasn't responded and I haven't said anything since. I was thinking of trying a call over the weekend as a last ditch effort what do you think?


Maybe I could send a text saying that I've been having texting reception problems with all my friends and since I haven't heard back I'm going to call ect. This will force her to respond and I can better determine what's going on.

If I get a voice mail I'll just leave a message saying it's me and I really enjoyed the conversation we had and I only asked for her number to continue it at another time since it was my last night there ect. I didn't mean to come on too strong and I am not asking her on a date/out ect but I understand how it could have appeared that way otherwise call me back sometime....Bye.

Even though it's not ideal and a "friend zone" thing, it might let her guard down and I can work my magic from there in person ect. Also I was thinking it might get her to question if I was just interested in her as a friend ect. which sort of is a neg for her. It's just a theory I might think about trying this weekend.

What do you think? I think it's worth a shot, I have nothing to loose and everything to gain.Most likely she is not interested/stale but you never know ect.

Also,
I have no problem calling girls but I've heard from other PUA sources that some girls are more comfortable texting and I have ran across some that actually do prefer to text at least at first.Then after one or two text conversations start calling ect. Every girl is different but it's best to er on the safe side for shyer girls.

No way - why do a young man and woman swap numbers, unless their interested in each other?
Generally going the explanation/apologetic route is a bad idea, cause it seems like you're just doing it to get a response. You should only do it when you've done something to make her feel bad, eg. taking more than 2-3 days to get back to her, just after you've met - that will require some serious explanation.

You should try a call - try and think of something fun to do, could be a group thing, could be something nice for the 2 of you.

Don't say that line about having texting reception problems.

She's obviously decided/felt from your behaviour in the text messages that you're not the mysterious confident guy she hoped for at first - you have to accept that the text convo you had was just you acting like you were walking on thin ice. You can't turn that around with an explanation or a magical text message. The only thing you can do is just start doing what you should always have been doing, and hope for the best.

Call when you know she's going to be available. Call with the goal of nothing else but to "be" the most attractive person you can be. The goal is not to get a date out of her by trying to secure a time. The goal is to show her you're worth hanging out with, by using the best parts of your personality. That's what you spend that phone call on, if you get it. (or voice message) Don't even think about a date, if it may affect your focus on just being attractive. Usually if you're too worried about forcing some outcome, you end up doing badly. Just call, talk, (or leave a message, or text) like you don't care about the outcome, just having fun, and accept the fact that you have other options and she may not reply for whatever reason.

Alright so tonight or tomorrow I guess I'll call and say we should get a quick ice cream sometime and nothing really more? I just feel that by doing that it'll annoy her more IF she is trying to hint that she is not interested ect. Then again she hasn't really hinted anything other than by not responding. For all I know she got busy ect.

Maybe I should just say "hey it's (my name), I got really busy this week and it wasn't a good week for me anyway. This week looks much more open. How about going for ice cream at such and such place say Monday night?, Call me...bye"

I definitely agree about calling, it's more attractive but for me it's just knowing what to say if I get the voice mail. Should I even leave a voice mail?

WRONG MINDSET. That mindset will achieve nothing. If she isn't interested, you won't win her back by not being around, you can just ask one decent outing and if she doesn't reply, you know she's not interested and can move on quickly. If she IS interested, then you'll lose her by not doing anything. So basically, all this pussy footing around is not the way forward.
Yes, like I said, it's your mindset which is making you think wierd things.

Sounds good, as long as you have that confident, casual, out to have fun, not attached to the outcome, attitude, you can say anything. You'd use that call to display your personality, not to nessecarily secure a date.

Sometimes it's good to invite her out to some group thing, but again, not essential - main thing is your mindset, and subsequently, your attitude that you express.
Well personally I can't remember the last time I left one. Haven't checked up on how easy it is for people to see they have a voice message and check it. I originally gave up years ago because it's too hard to check - I barely checked mine, so I didn't expect anyone else to. But don't do that - I know people use voice mails for good effect. I guess I haven't been in the situation yet where it would have been a good idea. I'd say if I couldn't get through after a couple of calls, I would, instead of a text.