Hey guys I've been a bit of a silent observer for a while on this site now and have picked up a heap of great advice, I'm hoping now I can get some specfic advice about my situation...which goes a little something like this:

Met a girl out a couple of weeks ago, got along great, number closed her. Texted her a couple of days later and arranged to have a bit of a tennis lesson, which we'd talked about the night we met. Anyway, got a text from her early last week seeing how I was etc. and telling me she was ready for the lesson. I replied along the lines of cool when we're free we should line it up. Couple of days after that I sent her a text saying we should meet up before the lesson to discuss 'preparation' and made a bit of a joke about it which went down fine. Got a text back saying all good but she was busy the next few days and would let me know when she was free. She closed the text with 'hope to see you soon x'. I then waited a few days, didn't want to come across as being needy and texted her three days later (which was last night) seeing how were weekend was etc. 24 hours later no reply. Got me confused as I got all the right signs but know she appears to be ignoring me. I don't want to harass her with too many more texts - I know I could adopt the whole 'I'm too good for her anyway routine' but I genuinely like this girl and am attracted to her.

I see myself having a few options:

1) Don't text her again and if she never replies then let it go
2) Call her out of the blue
3) Send her a follow up text but without any reference to the text she ignored. Maybe revert to arranging the tennis lesson.

Any advice, as usual much appreciated guys

Rich

Hahah, there's your problem.

Why are so many people just texting?

It should have been a call. Each one of those contacts should have been a phone call.

How can you expect to build comfort and remind her of the guy she was talking with, and bedazzle her with your awesome personality and make her excited about hanging out with you through a text message??

You shouldn't see a phone call as "out of the blue". I have "quizzed" so many random girls at night clubs, and they all say the same thing - swap phone numbers, not emails, because it's more "personal", and if they don't pick up, you can leave a voice message. They want to hear the confidence in your voice.

Txts are reserved for a more subtler kind of contact. Like maybe it's too much to call every day, so you send a funny text the 2nd day.



So what to do now is call her and leave a text message, the tone of voice showing her - this is the guy you were attracted to, remember??

And remember, dont' worry about what to say - focus everything on how you say it.

That's your best shot. Make a call, leave a voice message, and if she doesn't get back to you, forget it.

Cheers for the reply Conker makes sense to me. Just tried to call her and got through to voicemail, left a message so let's see what happens. Not interested in playing games and wasting time so if she doesn't come back to me then she's finished.

Conker, when do you reckon's the best time to call after you number close? The same night or the following night? I got on really well and closed a girl the other night, made the mistake of texting her first and it all went downhill from there.

Richi There's a good chance she won't get back cause she might see the "only txting" as shyness, and then the "resorting to calling" as a last desperate attempt, instead of calling because you wanted to. That's just the way it is unfortunately. (And that's actually what's happened, so this outcome is to be expected)
One time I spun this around because I kept an eye on her facebook and saw she ended her relationship. I'm just saying it's improbable but not impossible, to turn this around. But who can say how... so move on in general.

AFC2012 - if you meet her during the day - call her that night. If you meet her that night, text her some time after meeting, a playful comment about what you both talked about. A joke if it's a good one, or just a throwaway playful comment. Don't seem like you're trying too hard to impress, and don't sound afc. Act like it's fun but without being concerned about the outcome - the kind of person who thinks like that, says a lot of casual things. And then call her the next day.
The way it went downhill depends on how you met up, and what you texted...

Yeah cool Conker, I was actually chatting to her friend during the week on FB, I ended up asking her about her and she was like 'she really wants to see you again but she's in the midde of moving house at the moment' - yeah what ever.

Interestingly she accepted my mates friend request this week (he was there when I met her) - I've been holding off friend requesting her but thought fcuk it and did. If she ignores it then there's the final nail, I don't really care either way but it would be pretty $hit on her by accepting my mate who she barely met and ignoring me. Games.

Why didn't you add her already? Who's the one playing games?

You've got a lot of fear driving these thoughts and actions. Indeed - why should she accept him and not you? Why should you even think this would happen??

Yeah ok so there's a bit of that happening from both sides, fair enough. I didn't add her already as I didn't want to come across too desperate. She doesn't know how often I use FB so the delay isn't really relevant. I chatted to her mate again today and she doesn't have a clue as to why she's gone cold turkey but she's going to find out. I'll let you know what the reason is, I'm still confident it's not becuase of how I have gone about this, moreso that she has probably met someone else.

Moving on though, the weekend has been good and I met someone else, so let's see how that goes.

I'll post another update when I hear back from her friend, could be interesting...

Yeah she probably has met someone else cause you weren't there

I add girls on facebook pretty soon. Like I add them the next day, as a little way of "keeping in contact". Eg. they get a phone call the evening of the day we met, next day they might get a text or a facebook add. It's a little bit of contact. It's like "oh I got a text, he was thinking about me" or "oh I got an add, he was thinking about me" but to a lesser extent.

And basically if you like them you should add them.

Would you deliberately put off adding a random acquaintance? No you'd just get it over and done with when it was convenient.

And the fact that you didn't add her because you didn't want to appear desperate - that's the fearful thinking I was talking about.

Not sure about not being there for her, I'm confident I gave her enough interest and opportunity to make my intentions clear. You may be right though, time will tell!

'And the fact that you didn't add her because you didn't want to appear desperate - that's the fearful thinking I was talking about.' Well, that has to win oxymoron of the year without a doubt - I've been in enough situations to know that if you show too much interest in a girl you reduce your chances of success. Appreciate that every situation is different but that generally is the way things work.

No - what you have to learn is that you've been expressing interest in a bad way. So of course if you express less of that, you'll get less bad responses, but you won't move forward.

You have to practice expressing interest in an alpha way.

I'm not sure I've been expressing interest in the wrong way, it has to be her not me lol!. Anyway onto more important stuff, I went to a house party on Saturday night and hooked up with a hotter chick, slept over with her in the end...was wicked.

If you were me, what would be your line of approach be as a follow up, bearing in mind this girl hasn't been that far out of a bad breakup. It was basically a good old fashioned piss up that gave us the chance to get together, and I managed to do the right things at the end of the night to beat three other dudes who were trying to get with her.

Cheers

Update

Just got a text from her out of the blue, gonna meet her later in the week.

The plot thickens...I'm gonna give her a hard time about how she's messed me around unless she has a damn good excuse!