This is some background that is necessary. I would appreciate feedback and some help here.


Well, here is what happened. First encounter, she was a hired gun waitress. Number close for later that night. Called her and she couldn't make the insta-date plans we had made for that evening. She offered that I could meet her where she was going (SammyT's). I declined saying "That isn't my kinda place, to many highschoolers around." and that I would call her another day. She mentioned she was free Sunday and I said that would be cool.

I call her late Sat to make plans for sunday. (The next day... I should have waited.) She was already asleep. I left a message to call me for *blah* on sunday. I wait all day Sun to see if she is gonna call (By waiting I mean going about my normal life). She doesn't.

I get a call Monday. She appologizes and says she has Tuesday Free. I say that I don't but what is she doing right now. She says going to work but she gets a break from 2-4:30. I say thats cool, but I have a eyedoctor appt at 1:30 and she is gonna have to wait until after that.

We end up meeting at a starbucks at 2:45. I make a joke about not knowing what a "Cafe Americano" is. Then I tell her the plans to go shopping with our coffee. We decide to go to the coffe shop in the mall instead cause it is simpler and so that we can shop and drink our coffee. End up talking at the new coffee shop until she has to go back to work. Laughing and blah. Great time, laughing IOI's, some kino EXCEPT!!! She shows me modeling pictures of herself in crazy hot lingerie BUT then she also shows me pics of her X-fiance (Freakin Male 10 adonis... rediculous). Says he was verbally abusive but she still cares deeply. She also spends 5 minutes talking about how stupid he is and how she can't live with that. All this time though talking about X-fiance's is reallly making me mad but I control it.

I made an AFC out of myself toward the end. Stupid me. I ask for some pics of her. I thought it would be endearing to have a "memoir". WTF was I thinking... It came across as HELLA creepy and totally AFC. She asks "Why?!" I realized that I just showed faaar too much interest in her physical side and I try to play it off by saying one of the most idiotic things I have EVER said in my life. "Well... I ment all of them. You and him." WTF!?!? I'm not freakin gay.. why would I want those pics? Now I have just gone UBER creepy! HELL I was even creeping out myself! I decided to eject because we were already in our separate cars to go and I just started laughing and said "Ya know what? Nvm lol, I'll call you later."
*Just as a note, I will NEVER let this happen again. WTF... well that is why I am a rAFC and not a PUA. lol*

We made tenative plans for Wednesday. I call her up on tuesday to tell her them... she says that she has plans aswell but will try to shift them to get an opening and will call me back so that we can confirm.

I said that was fine. Wednesday comes around. 2:30... plans were for either 3 OR 5. I call her up and say exactly the following

"I know you were going to call me back about you changing your plans. But I just wanted to let you know that while waiting my plans solidified. My friends and I are going shopping at 5 and going to a movie at 7. If you would like to join us, give a call. I would love to have you there. bye."

10 minutes later I get another apologetic call about yesterday and saying that she has dinner with her mother tonight and that she may be able to meet up with us at 6:30. She had plans with her X for later but he is a retard and that she would rather hang out with me. She said she could give me a call by 6pm to tell me.

6pm. No call, 7pm movie. no show.

WTF. Huge mixed messages. IOI's up the ying yang but tons of "missed calls" and boyfriend talk.

I am confused here guys and I don't just wanna toss her because from what we talked about in the coffee shop she has an Amazing personality as well as a freakin 9.5 or possibly a 10.

I thought about just calling her out on her missed calls and XBF talk and shit but I dunno. Anyway, any help would be GREATLY appreciated, not just What I did wrong (which I know was alot) but what I can do to correct this. I haven't called her since she was supposed to call by 6pm.

Thnx in advance guys.
EvoJ

It sounds like she's either at a weird point in her life or just plain busy. There's really not much you can do about it. 'Calling her out' about those things will just make you seem needy and probably either creep her out or piss her off.

All you can do is let things unfold. If you're truly interested in her, then be patient and understanding. Wait and see what happens; no reason to force things. If the ex boyfriend talk continues and really annoys you, then let her know. And if you want to bring up her flakiness, bust her balls about it when you're hanging out. Don't be serious about it and see what she says. Maybe something is going on in her life that you don't know about.

Ok you have to build that rapport back. This is gonna require some good negging and making sure everything you do IS on your terms. You are the one in control here, you are the prize and she needs to know that. Remember she should be the one working for your attention. Keep phone conversations short and def. meet up again.

The next time you meet up have a couple of DHV stories ready that sub communicate your higher value, and act immune to her charm and HER DHV tactics (showing modeling pics, etc), the next time she tries that shit NEG her, totally take the wind out of her sails and make her self conscious. I would not act that interested in her, instead talk alot about yourself or anything for that matter.

I cannot stress this next point enough, do not discuss her ex BF. If she brings it up, change the subject. You could even be as direct as saying "Do I look like one of your girlfriends?, then stop talking to me like one" When she talks to you about him this early on, the easier it is for her to start classifying you as a "friend", you have to stay as far away from that kind of talk as possible. Think about it, if she has a guy who gives her attention and emotional intimacy then why would she want to date him and risk loosing that down down the road...dude why do girls love having gay friends???? If she wants attention and emotional intimacy then she has to work for it and even still that should be a LONG ways off.

Keep your cool and stick to your guns and I know this can be reversed.

_________________
Own the situation, don't let the situation own you

Thank you. I appreciate the input and I will not just take it to heart, I will use it.

One question though. How to I get her to come out again so that I can build this rapport back up? I have to go on a week long trip starting next thursday and I have tuesday and wednesday off to prepare. Should I call her up and use that trip to hasten our next meeting? Like "Hey, remember that trip I told you about last time? Yeah, well it is coming up on the 30th and I figure that gives me enough time to see you once more before I leave." ? or what?


If anyone else has any idea's, please let me know.

and I really do appreciate the help I have already gotten.