Had a date last weekend with a socially awkward 7. We made out briefly at the end of the date. We texted during the last week. (Nothing crazy. No big conversations. No sexting.) She has said things that make me things she wants to date me. (She asked if I was allergic to cats because she has one.)

We went out last night. During the date, she started talking about sex and relationships. She said that she's not into having sex with random people. She also said that she hated when guys pressured her to have sex. (She said it was like being sold a car.) She kept saying that it felt like we were on a 6th date rather than a 2nd date. She also said something about the expectation of sex on the third date. I responded by saying I really didn't care when sex happened. (And that's true, I have a lot of sex and waiting a little while isn't making or breaking me.) She said that was a "refreshing" response. We hooked up again post date, making out longer than the first time. I grabbed her ass as we were making out, but once again, nothing crazy.

So here I am with this girl who I know likes me. On one hand, I want to try to escalate sexually but I don't want to run the risk of frightening her off like the other guys she mentioned. On the other hand, I can wait sexually but I don't want to slow down the pace of things.

She texted me this morning "Hey, how's it going?" It's 6 pm and I still haven't responded to her. What would you guys do in this situation?

I honestly don't have much experience in this situation (I've only had a conversation like this with one girl) but it seems like she's trying to justify having sex with you. It's basically her anti-slut defence. Just keep on proceeding normally and you'll get there.

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Good call, man. I was taking it as anti-slut defenses as well. This is a good barrier/lesson for younger fellows. (I'm 30 and went years getting the anti-slut defense but not knowing what it was/how to disarm it.)

Update: She came over last night. We made out for like half an hour. She was very much about not feeling her up and even stopped at one point and said "Not yet." My game plan is to keep proceeding as usual while respecting her wishes but not getting bent out of shape about it.

Pretend she didn't even spew that verbal diarrhea about sex and strangers and 3rd dates and blah blah blah... She's shit testing you to see what you'll say, and you did fine.

Escalate like you normally would...

Update: Thanks for the words of support, guys.

She came over a few nights ago. We hooked up for like an hour. (Hooked up in this context is everything over the clothes.) I kept trying to feel her tits, but she kept saying "No, not yet." She asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend last night. I'm trying to figure out how I respond to that and fuck her/actually hookup with exigency.

No labels before sex.

Like the others have said, game her normally and escalate. You shouldn't pay attention to what she says, but what her body or behavior is telling you. If she gives you resistance, pull back for a bit, build more deep comfort and try again. Keep things vague if she asks you to be her boyfriend.

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1. Alot of the time when girls say "I don't just have sex with random guys" or "I don't like to have sex until I'm dating someone" it's because they don't want you thinking that they are a slut or that they really want to lock down a bf and that's a good way to put pressure on them. Don't think "oh she said she doesn't have sex until she's dating a guy, she must be really reserved, if I try to have sex with her she'll hate me" because it's not true.

2. Try to set up the frame that you aren't into dating from the start. At the very least mention it on the second meetup.

Common things that I say are:
"I'm just too busy with work and such to be in a relationship right now"
"I like the idea of hanging out with someone for a while before dating. It's possible that I might find a girl that we get along great as friends, and we might even have good sexual chemistry and have some fun, but we aren't right for each other in terms of boyfriend/girlfriend."

When talking about sex, I just do my best to let them know that I don't think sex is some sacred thing and that I think it's awesome if two people get along great and like giving each other pleasure. To each his own.

I do this already, actually. I actually use a series of lines that I ripped from Bridges of Madison County. (Goofy emotional chick literature.) Something about how I'm a citizen of the world, how I don't like to use labels, and how I'm not the guy who settles down with a dishwasher and a family album. I've been using it for about six months now and it works like a charm for disarming anti-slut defenses.

I'm more kind of just annoyed at how slow this chick is moving. (First date, hook up. Second date, hook up with touching. Third date, hook up with a little under the clothes. Fourth date, somewhat under the clothes.) She hasn't had sex in two years, which needless to say means she isn't in any hurry. She also has an MSW so I know there's a lot of weird scientific studies about sex rolling around in her head that are making her go slow.

I was more looking for a way to speed up the process. I didn't think there was one, and it looks like the great thinkers on here haven't been able to devise on either. I'll keep escalating slowly.