It will be a long post, but I will say big thanks to everyone who takes time to read it and give some ideas.
I will start with a short intro about myself (as I am new to your forum). I am 25 years old, live in Europe. I am an entrepreneur and work in many projects, so I always have interesting stuff going on and different people around me. I have a lot of friends and some of them are obviously girls. I also do have some girls around me, that I wouldn`t call friends (you know what I mean). So life is interesting and I don`t complain about anything. I am pretty busy with my various hobbies, so I always have something interesting to talk about and some experiences to share.
I have been in a relationship for 8 years already. It has been good times for both of us, but now we are living in different countries and I am not sure if it is going to work out any more. Still, today I am officially „in relationship“. It was quite long ago, when me and my GF decided that we can do whatever we want, with whoever we want, so I don`t need to feel bad about my life now. I started to watch some PUA videos a few months ago (Gambler) and I was amazed. I spent days and nights educating myself and I actually became much better really quickly and results started to appear.
Now let`s get to the point. This is a subject where I can`t figure things out myself. I have a really special female friend for 6 years already. When we met, I was actually single for almost a year, but my skill with women back then was really zero and obviously nothing happened between us then. Yes we met often and blablabla, but I didn`t do anything. I guess I once told her that I like her more than a friend, but the response was something I didn`t want to hear (I don`t excactly remember). I got back together with my GF, but me and my female friend continued to meet and interact quite often. My GF has always been OK with that, because she knows we are friends from the beginning and it will be like that. My GF and my special female friend know each other quite well also.
Years passed by, me and my female friend always kept in touch. It hasn`t been just me who contacts, it has always been 50/50 about this. She had some boyfriends in this time also, but we still met sometimes. Actually she even had some arguments at home because of me, but it has never stopped her from seeing me. We have spent a lot of time together, done all kinds of things, talked about everything and so on. I have taken her out maybe 100 times, she knows all my friends and likes them, she meets interesting and funny people through of me etc. We have always phoned each other anytime, she comes to my place often and I go to her`s. We have spent some nights together, sleeping in the same bed, but doing nothing. I am sure she enjoys the time spent with me, because she is always really opened for any kind of ideas and likes to join my plans. 99% of cases she finds time and opportunities for that and never rushes away when she is with me. I guess that I am the one who she trusts most (or at least in TOP3) and it is the same on my side. I am her best friend and she is mine. So that has been the case for many years already and I have been totally OK with this, knowing that I have one special female friend (I was in a good relationship anyway). I didn`t force almost anything intimate or sexual (maybe just holding hands while dancing etc).
Now the things have changed a bit. The big problem is, that my female friend is actually a smoking hot girl with an amazing body
And I have discovered, that I want something more from her. I know I risk losing her, but I am willing to take the risk. During last weeks I have discovered myself fantazising about her almost every day and I don`t want to spend my time on that, I would actually like to do these things. I am not sure where it might take us and what will happen in the future, but I am surely not trying to get her just for 1 night. And for some reason, I do think that it would be amazing.
I am quite actively socialising with women right now and practising some PUA techniques. My female friend knows about me and other girls, she has even been my wing-girl a few times and left the club without me, leaving me there with someone I just met. She sometimes asks me about details and I have mostly told her about my recent experiences with women. So I am not a lonely boy completely in love with one girl and she should know it. She is single right now, and said that she is certainly not looking for a long-term-relationship right now, because she doesn`t want to belong to anyone and is pretty happy right now (this should actually be a good phrase??). Btw, last few months she has phoned my more than me to her. She has come out with me almost every single time I ask and she has also invited me to places many times.
Last 3 days we spent together. Did all kinds of fun stuff, had a very good time. She came to my place to the countryside with me, and it was just me and her. She was the one, who said that „What are your plans for the weekend and maybe I come with you?“ Not me at first. This was the first time, when I really thought about doing something intimate that we have never done before. But immidiately I got into big trouble, because it is not easy to use the same techniques on her, that I use on girls I have just met or seen a few times. So all these days I tried to find ways to escalate and look for different answers. The answers I got from her, got me even more confused than before.
I try to brief up the things that happened or that made me think:
1) We slept in the same bed. She was ok with that. I do have separate beds, but she asked me first night, that where do we sleep and if I said „here should be fine“ she said ok. On purpose I put just 1 blanket on the bed and she didn`t ask for another one. First night we were barely touching while we slept, but the next morning I told her that I am not used to sleep with a female like this, and if she is disturbed I move to another bed. She was ok with me staying, so next 2 nights we spent a lot closer, but still not 100% the same as you are with your GF. While in bed, she doesn`t move closer to me, but doesn`t move away either.
2) She doesn`t keep distance from me. She often sits beside me so that our bodies are touching a bit. If I move closer to her, she usually doesn`t move away.
3) While we were watching TV, we were under a blanket close with our feet touching. For some reason I thought that it is a good idea to lie down so that my head is in her lap. Then she said that, she can`t see anymore (as she was almoust lying down also). Ok, i moved a bit away to the side and we continued to watch. That was a bit weird.
4) As she has not been to massage lately, then one evening I gave her one. She agreed to it instantly and took her clothes off (i had to turn my eyes away though). So she was in my bed, with just panties on. She is not a very outgoing person, so i didn`t hear a constant flow of compliments, but she still mentioned a few times, that she likes it, and it is good. Anyway she didn`t want to end this and seemed to enjoy it all the way through. I started from the back and neck and later moved to under-part of her body. I didn`t have a certain plan to touch her from everywhere anyway, but when I moved up her feet then it seemed that she feels uncomfortable. I said „Don`t worry, I will not go everywhere and tell me when it is getting weird.“ She said, that it will get weird if you move more up“ or something like this. I said „No problem, I stay here“. So that was confusing also.
5) She feels comfortable being close to me, but when our faces get really close, then I see that she is not too comfortable.
I have thought that I should escalate more by touching. Partly I have done it, but I can`t find a way how to start with more sexual and intimate touches with her. I have held her hands while dancing, I have hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, slept with her with my hands almost around her etc. But as I said, she doesn`t seem to feel comfortable when our faces get close. So how to move from this point to kissing? That is probably the most complicated part. If I could kiss her, I guess I figure out the rest of the way myself. Any ideas are welcome.
Is she afraid of something?
What does she want from me? What are her expectations?
Why is she spending so much of her time on me?
Why is she comfortable close to me, but does not give any signals that I can go for a kiss?
So, is it enough facts for gurus to tell me what is going on in her head? There are probably many mistakes I made during last 3 days and nights, I would be glad to hear about these also. I imagine that i seem like a total „pussy“ regarding to this story, but things are pretty good with other girls. So the problem now is only about her.
Thanks a lot guys, who are willing to think about it and give me some knowledge. Sorry about language mistakes, as english is not my mother tongue.
MrBob
CHAT
