I lost my virginity the other night thanks to this forum to an HB9. We're both 19-20yr in college, and I was able to F close in a frat as well as go home with her for more (she lives across the hall) as well as one more time in the morning. This girl is very hot - tons of guys are on her line all the time. The sex was probably pretty typical for a first time (I would guess), but nevertheless she wanted it more than me the whole time. It was a struggle to get her even walking home because she was so caught up in hooking up at the frat. We even had to stop at a building halfway (15min walk) because she was getting cold and impatient! I am the first guy she's slept with since her last boyfriend (3+ months ago), and we've gone out to parties as friends (in a group) in the past. My friend hooked up with her a while ago but she didn't let him f-close. He was her only other hookup since the boyfriend.

The next morning I had to leave around 1pm because I had unexpected work - I didn't contact her until the evening, just to see what her plans were. She lives across the hall from me but I felt no need to specifically go out with her that night. I met her out at a frat, and there was already a guy with his hands all over her. I was letting it slide because she was giving me 'inside' or knowing looks and I mistakenly thought her I had her on a leash (I figured she had way too much fun last night to keep it moving that quickly). Every time she saw me looking over she would move away from the guy or use a friend to put some space between them. But he was good and persistent (probably knew some PUA as well). Anyways, I thought it was kind of funny so just talked to other girls and did my own thing in the same room.

Long story short he basically had her to the point of no return last night, the next night after my first lay. However, she was very drunk. Last I saw her, I thought they hooked up, however a friend said there's a good chance they didn't do anything. Either way, she was at that point and that's something I should be able to prevent (with other guys besides me).

How should I respond? I was thinking about being FB or possibly something more with her but that kind of hurt my ego hahaha .. I need to sack up and act right but I am stumped guys. Any help would be appreciated.

Pretty hard to avoid oneitis with your first, I know, but don't assume she owes you any kind of commitment based upon that. The good news is, you don't owe her anything either. Be proud your first was so hot, and your first time doesn't sound as awkward as most people's. But don't get all jealous. Be cool, have fun, fuck her more, and don't be afraid to shop around. You sound like you want some kind of relationship with this girl, in general, I'd let her at least hint at it before I even think about that.

Thank you - before I had sex I was pretty good at avoiding one itis for the most part. Now that we had sex, I'm not sure how it changes the dynamic. Maybe I was assuming too much

I kicked it with her for 1-2 hrs last night (she lives across the hallway) and she seemed nervous and has her legs crossed at times as well as her hands in that area. We were on her bed but she was maintaining her distance - after hearing from a friend I don't think she was sober enough that night to hook up with the other guy. I hope the next time we go out I can make a stronger showing and not fuck it up again

Ps- she seemed to avoid any reference to the night we hooked up. Not sure why but it was interesting

For now I'm looking to see other girls or at least practice my game some more

BIG UPDATE boys, kind of a shameful one for me. Alcohol really fucked me over on this.

Like I said she lives across my hall in the dorms. I slept over at a freshmen's room on Friday (HB9 couldn't go out that night due to sickness) and made it known by slipping into conversation that 'I left my wallet in [dorm name for strictly freshmen students]'. Anyways, with some help from friends we were able to make it blaringly obvious to her that I hooked up with another girl on Friday in a very subtle way that she definitely didn't suspect at all. She probably thinks she's some sort of detective for putting it together.

Changes with her attitude were immediately noticeable - within the hour she began acting more interested in me, coming to my room, asking when I would text her, and if I wanted to go to Starbucks with her (I declined). She came back and stuck around in my room, took me and my friends to go get alcohol, went to eat, etc and complied with everything. Basically, I had a guaranteed f-close that night.

We started pre-gaming with the alcohol we bought together, and I ended up much more drunk than I should have been straight off the bat. Basically I came on too strong that night (I told her maybe 2x that night I wanted to sleep with her after k-closing a few times and dancing - I know I know, I was fucking up) and she wasn't as drunk as me so I'm sure I came off like an asshole/tactless.

Anyways, she called the other guy and they met up and fucked that night. As I type this I cringe because even my buddies knew how easy it should have been to fuck her that night. I hung out with the rest of our friends (in that friend group, she's part of the immediate friend group) for the rest of the night before sleeping. No action whatsoever. She knows I saw and know, she knows I probably feel salty about it.

So boys, where do I go from here? She reacted to the whole 'me hooking up with a freshman' situation and came back to me (stronger than ever), but I managed to ruin that the same night. I haven't seen nor talked to her since (despite her living across the hall), but I think she did see that she got a reaction out of me by fucking the other guy. The alcohol brought out the AFC in me and I'm never going to sabotage myself like that again.

Do I approach her? Avoid her for a while? Act like nothing happened? She's fucked this guy 2x without me doing anything in between except for some k-closes on her that night and fucking her before he ever came around. Should I apologize for being an asshole? In person/text? I'm inevitably going to see her again as she lives across my hall and we have the same group of friends that goes out 1-2x to parties together every weekend.

Mannnnn I have never fucked up like this and seriously have no idea on how to act. Never again will I drink like that for a pregame

man its not even that bad, it sounds like your just feeling more guilty within yourself at yourself than her for not fucking her that night and let some other guy slip in. its not like you got mad at her and bitched her out or anything like that, what are you going to say sorry for?, all you did is say you wanted to bang her (which always necessarily isn't a bad thing in some situations), which in turn turned all the power to her.

before you had the power so to say and she was chasing you, now, your chasing her, and your adding to that by thinking you should apologize. you were drunk and said you wanted her, so what.

plus your young, shes young, and by the sounds of it and you can be pretty sure about this, shes definitely not looking for a relationship at the moment


its easy. go mack on and fuck other girls.


and since she will be around, just be your normal self. continue on like normal and if it comes out (as in she brings it up), the right words should come out if your in slick rick mode. and if she continues to try and get a reaction out of you all the time well then just stick it in her ass and show her whos boss lol (i hope you know im kidding about that part)

thats my take anyway. but do whatever you feel is right and will get you back to being yourself so you can actually act like yourself without feeling and acting awkward. it sounds like your game isn't bad from what you've explained. fuck your making me want to go out right at this moment lol

it just sounds like your over reacting and beating yourself up for missing the chance more than anything else, i've done that b4 too, way more than you have trust me lol. its no biggie buddy, go have fun

I'm going to tell you something that you, as you are at this very moment, will not understand. Every other guy that has been through a similar situation that you are in now will understand. After you follow these simple steps, you will be enlightened.

1. Use the same tactics you used to F-close the HB9 on another HB.
2. After you F-close another HB, reevaluate how you feel about the HB9.

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Thanks man - posts like that are why I post on forums. People with experience keep me grounded. I think I have to broaden my horizons and be less outcome fixated. However, it's a a delicate situation to handle as we always go out together in a group on the weekends. If I don't go out with them it could be seen as weird or like I'm reacting too much.

I guess that's the only thing- plus even if I don't go out with them I'm bound to run into them (small school). And I know if I leave their group and don't run game on her, the other guy will come through again. So I'm sort of stuck inbetween a rock and a hard place