Girl wants to friend zone me after an instant date



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PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 1:40 pm 
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Hello fella plays :D

Long story short today I started chatting up this girl (which will call HB8) on the lift at Target. After some light social talking and generally fun/humor I found out she was an international student from China studying in my home town. After speaking to her a few minutes I decided to instant date her at the time and took her to a nearby coffee shop.

The instant date was for the most part fun. I started laughing her and starting to escalate. Definitely took things sexual though it was a coffee shop, so there is only so much you can do. I tried to kiss her a few times and was throwing a few sexual innuendos here and there. Turns out this girl was a promoter at one of the clubs and seems a total social butterfly (which probably means tonnes of guys chasing her).

After leaving the coffee shop I didn't make any definite plans but she seem interested in Meeting up again so I got her details and added her on Facebook.

Although enough with the context. The problem I have is she seems to be friend zoning me in the text messaging afterwards. Clearly the goal is to absolutely bang her as hard and fast as possible (as I am confident lots of other guys are chasing her). What do you guys think I should do next with this girl?

P.S Voldemort is a short of internal joke between me and her.

Me: Hey Hominy (for Harry Potter) :-D wanted to say it was awesome to meet you. Are you always so friendly to stranger?

HB8: hey Voldemort. I know I'm sweet And yes I'm always nice to people ;)

Me: How the meeting going? Dying of boredom yet :-P

HB8: Being quite busy. Was good always have some friends to chat with

Me: I don't know if I am interested in being friends with you...;-)

HB8: Lord u r so mean to me. I'm not gonna text u anymore

Me: I am way to high maintenance for you

HB8: Maintenance ?

Me: Man you lost 5 points....you really don't know?

HB8: If that is what I think.. I just wanna be friends with you. Ur funny, underwear model

Me: I don't know are you good at back/foot rubs?

HB8: Huh? What do u mean

I decided to leave it at so I can create a bit of mystery and confusion. The problem is that I am not sure what the best course of action after this is.

Let me know your thoughts.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 7:29 pm 
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buyers remorse, too much attraction before comfort. It will be very hard to recover from this. She is trying to re-initialize your relationship "as a friend" until she knows what to make of you (i.e. assess your social value). You can try to do this and increase your value with her if you care enough to make the effort, but her radar is up now and she wont be seduced as easily as your initial attempt.

However I will say that you committed a "high value" error. AFC's typically get friend-zoned from being too passive which is much worse than what happened to you from being overly aggressive. Keep it up, this is really only a calibration faux pas.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 10:37 am 
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Yeah interesting, never thought that too much attraction was a bad thing, but I can see your point. Guess the problem with this situation is that time is never on your side and generally I have to be quick no matter what I have to do.

I called her up today. I tried to pretend I was a German Personal assistant to me who wanted to arrange meet up and had to ask her a few question. She basically said no to the question, so I had to drop it. We talked about random things and then asked her when we could meet. Unfortunately I think she felt it was a little random the conversation and I got a flaky vibe. I did get a maybe we can meet on Sunday so I suppose it a start.

Conversation ended on a bit of a down note, and I won't put much faith that she will meet up. Guess there plenty of other girls.

Maybe I should work more on the comfort thing as another girl comes to mind recently who tried to pull the same stunt saying she wants to be my friend after a bit (and then also pulled out the boyfriend card). Similar half way through the text messaging said the same thing like I want to be friends with you.

Thanks for the help in either case ;)


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 10:30 pm 
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I think in the long run you are better off being overly aggressive until you can calibrate better. Anyone can provide comfort and rapport but thats gonna bore most chicks rather then attract them.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 3:00 am 
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Me: I don't know if I am interested in being friends with you...;-)

That was bad. Really bad. lol

Im curious if you have ever dated an Asian girl?

For this particular case, it sounds like you need to lay off the humor, or your attempt at humor or whatever it is as she clearly doesn't get it or finds it funny. If I were in your shoes, and this is just IMO, I would apologize to her for being rude and that you did not mean any disrespect. Then I would probably drop contact with her for. about a week. (Hunt for new girls to keep her off your mind.) Then text/call her again and ask her whats up / try to meet up with her again. (Being serious, no jokes or ah humor.) Hopefully she will have called during the break but likely will not. If she responds when you call, cool. If not, fuck her, move on.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 7:05 pm 
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Usually when someone throws that 'I just want to be friends' BS my way I'll tell them something like...
"yeah, of course we're just gonna be friends. Don't think for a minute you can sneak your way into my heart because I saw you checking out my ass and I'm on to you." This worked for me and I F-closed on the second meeting. I told her I wasn't ready for anything serious and started rubbing her feet. I worked my way right up to her inner thigh and rubbed her clit for 2 full minutes before she said "hey! no rubbing there" but by then of course it was on.

If you are aggressive with someone who takes the posture she did you will only push her away. Increase your pull by taking the girls lines from her and then escalate while accusing her of trying to seduce you and tell her all the reasons why you shouldn't.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 9:47 pm 
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what t7eopard said. feels like your sense was a tad off and u may have creeped her out a bit, so best to apologize for your behavior and say goodbye like you've lost interest in her

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