I've been dating this girl over the past 2 months and last Friday I took her on a legit date. I say legit because the other times we have hung out we have just gone to the movies, hiking, or hung out at my house and last friday I took her to dinner, the roller rink, and even got her flowers. The date went great, she said she had a great time. On the long ride back I told her she didn't have to sit so far away (you know what I mean;) ) so I drive a ford taurus and she sat in the middle right next to me leaning up against me with my right arm over her and my left arm driving. We kissed a bunch throughout the whole date and then when i came back and parked we just sat for a while and made out a little bit here and there. I then took my right arm and reached into the back seat and pulled out purple flowers (her favorite color) and put them in her lap. It was actually quite smooth. Anyway we made out a little bit more, I told her she was a bad kisser (jokingly) she said i was bad kisser. We just sat and made out a little bit more. I then told her I had to get going cause i had work the next morning early. She stayed a little bit longer which was fine but I eventually said to her "ok get out of my car" jokingly of course. As I driving away i yelled out my window goodnight.

I figured everything was in the bag she but then i started having issues this week with phone game.

Here are our communications since the date on friday.

Friday night( The power was off at her houe when i dropped her off.):

Me: ha the powers off at my house too.
Her: I'm still sitting in my car charging my phone haha

Sat Morning:
(we work at the same place so we talk bout work a decent amount)
Me: So i called out this morning lol many factors were involved in my decision.
Her: many factors?
Me: My alarm didn't go off so i was running late, its 420 and i have a dub in my room somewhere, its a really nice day, and my dad made pancakes this morning lol

A couple hours later I went to my car and found out she left a small empty bag in my car.

Me: You left a small blue bag thingy in my car....
Her: o hold on to it for me

Then i decide to wait to talk to her for a while. While reading the next set of texts keep in mind we have just talked on the phone before and about a week ago she asked me how i was and when i didnt respond for an hour she called me and we just talked for a bit.

Sunday Night:
Me: Amanda.
Her: Hi
Me: I'm going to call you when I get home.
Her: I may be sleeping lol

I didn't respond and called her when I got home at 10:52
She texted me back immediately
Her: I'm trying to sleep lol
Me: Your awake now anyway
Her: Lol what do you want boy.
Me: Lol girl I want to talk to you.
She didn't text me back so I called her again a couple minutes later (heh) she didn't answer lol

Anyway here is where I'm getting flustered. I decide not to text her on Monday and text her again Tuesday afternoon.

Me: What are you up to cutie
Her: Werkkk
Me: What sort of trouble are you causing there?
Her: None lol
Me: Sounds lame, we should get into some later
Her: Nah lol
Me: Haha good one, don't tell me your just going to bed, that would be totally uninteresting
Her: I'm studying for state board exams
Me: Ha those don't even count I think I drew a picture on my scantron when do you have to take them.
Her: April 8th written April 20th practical
Me: thats ages away
Her: This test is serious.
Me: for cosmotology?
Her: Yes
Me: Your clever I'm sure you'll ace it. I've got to see you this week though. when.

And she never responded. I saw her on facebook an hour later so I know she didn't go to bed.

I felt like I was half a step away from GFing this girl last friday now I feel like I'm 2 steps back. Normally I would just back off for a bit and wait for her to text me but she set up a Open Mic at a local theatre this friday and i wanted to go see her play (She is amazing, Wife material she puts on shows at a local theatre), I was going to go with friends.

I don't want to just show up though cause A. She didn't invite me( only over facebook and that invited hundreds of people, and B. I don't want to seem like i'm trying too hard.

Am I overreacting? What would be my next steps? There is a girl at work I could ask out that I know would say yes and Amanda would definitely find out but I feel like we are at the point in dating where I would come off as scummy doing that. Also It's my birthday on Saturday and god damit I want a kiss on my birthday, no she does not know its my birthday, how do i slip that in without seeming like i'm coming up with excuses to see her

If you've been hooking up for two months then why are you trying to game her. You've got attraction and everything else already. You don't need to keep it if you are sleeping with her. There is no need for fluff.

Stop feeling like if you don't talk to her every day about bullshit and nothing, you'll lose her. You shouldn't care so much about losing her anyway. You should have more things going on. You are just feeding your neediness each time you talk to her in between your meetups.

Tell her about your week instead of your day.

If she was as interested in you as you are in her, then she would initiate just as much. You are trying to keep something that might not be there. How can she prove herself worthy of you if you don't give her time to put in the work.

My sister used to come home and visit all her "friends." She never spent time with me. I came to visit her one weekend and she realized that I am the only person who really cares. Her friends never gave back half of what she gave to them.

The point is to not invest yourself more than others are willing to invest in you. It's not fair to yourself and it's a set up for a huge let down. It's better to meet 100 women and keep around the ones that are willing to invest, than chasing down a few. The few will eventually run every time.

Duck hunters use ducks to find ducks. Women are the same way. When you are around more women, more women will come. Justin Bieber didn't nail Selena Gomez by having just one girl. She wants him because it means she has what all other girls want. Be Justin Bieber.

_________________
Attraction is a choice.
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


www.facebook.com/spreadloveders

We have not been hooking up for 2 months, I said dating over the course of 2 months. weve seen each other like 5 times outside of work. I've only made out with her. And she is 18 I'm turning 23 this saturday. She goes to church every sunday so I've been taking it slow on dates because I thought she might be that type of girl.

Notice how you are the one initiating contact every time. She doesn't just text you out of the blue, she is just reacting to your contact, which is a bad sign. She knows she has you by the balls, you are pussy-whipped, so she doesn't have to try. Her one word answers are because your frequent messages are starting to annoy her.

So how do you increase her interest in you? Stop trying to please her. Stop buying her flowers. Stop buying her presents when she hasn't earned them (she can only earn your affection with sex and blowjobs). Just because she goes to church doesn't mean she doesn't want a big fat dick inside her. Stop contacting her. Wait for her to contact you. The root cause of your frequent contact is because secretly you are worried that NOT contacting her so regularly will make her forget about you / lose interest or leave an opening for another guy to step in and fuck her instead.

Thanks guys i appreciate the advice. I'll freeze her for a week or so and then if she still does not get into contact with me should i just forget about it? I can't believe she is giving me such a cold shoulder after last friday, I don't deserve this shit. It just makes me angry as a man that I couldn't do this right the first time

Go no contact for at least a week, yeah. Make sure you promise yourself not to buy her anything else until AFTER you have had sex with her. Reward her sexual behaviour with affection. By giving her flowers before sex, you are sending her the message that you think she is better than you, above you, like you look up to her as your superior etc.

Things are NEVER serious with a girl until AFTER sex, usually it takes several sex sessions. You cannot say you were starting to get serious with this girl if you've only made out with her. If her religion / virginity is an issue, you don't have to penetrate her vagina. You can can still get a blowjob and fingerbang her vag. Even anal preserves her virginity in her eyes.

Stop being too nice to her basically. Try to build up some sexual tension. Heavy eye contact, touching, massaging. When she gets that puppy dog eyed look, strip to your underwear and she will know what's up.

A bad case of oneitis .

Ok, unless it is a special occasion like a birthday/valentines don't bring gifts "just because". Especially if you have only gone out 5 times. It shows way too much interest and says "committed" way too early! I don't understand why people think "Me and this girl are getting along great, I think I will change what we're doing!"

If it ain't broken, don't fix it!

Lay off a bit and get outside to do some stuff for yourself (with friends)...Your current actions make you look totally needy.

_________________
Crypto...
______________________________________
All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

If you're gone on five dates you should know how she feels about sex. Five dates is a LONG time for just making out. Making out is foreplay for foreplay. It really serves no other purpose. It's to get my dick hard and to get her pussy wet so we can go down on each other or have sex.

Church girls are still down with blowjobs.

Lack of escalation is a huge downer for a relationship. It says that it's just not going anywhere. There's nothing wrong with being the type of girl who sleeps with a guy who took her out on five dates. Every person gets horny, especially while making out with their partner.

When the time comes you're gonna have to make the move.

_________________
Attraction is a choice.
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


www.facebook.com/spreadloveders

Freeze outs are not a game to get the girl to get back in touch with you. Many rAFCs freeze out and then contact, which defeats the purpose altogether. The purpose is to get rid of people in your life who don't make an effort to remain there.

_________________
Attraction is a choice.
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


www.facebook.com/spreadloveders

Perfect advice ^

_________________
Crypto...
______________________________________
All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

Yeh I'm definitely not gonna phone her. Here's the thing: were working the same time on saturday and the clock out/ in machine is right next to customer service where she works. I was just gonna walk by smiling and studiously ignore her, anything better i could do? O and if this ever does work out next chance I get I'll escalate

You are obviously emotionally affected by this. Either go on like you're totally cool, and get over it, or bring it up to her. Its okay to tell a girl how you feel, even if you don't want to feel that way. Sometimes I tell a girl, "I am starting to become attached to you and I am not ready for that, so I need to take a step back."

Trying to evoke pity out of a girl is just a chode way of saying "You have emotionally affected me and I am going to be immature and throw a tantrum about it."

_________________
Attraction is a choice.
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


www.facebook.com/spreadloveders

If you've gone out on 5 dates and only made out with her ; but you've also bought her flowers and dinner. That's most likely your problem. You're being the "nice guy" and she got bored of you. The key is to be a man, stop buying her flowers and dinner, and to stop giving her so much attention. If you're a man, she should be working to set up a date with you.

If she is genuinely interested in you she will want to spend time with you regardless of whether or not you buy her shit. You are the man and you are the one who needs to lead the interaction further. After making out for some time, test her for compliance by slowly moving your hand down to her tits then her pussy. If she she doesn't want your hand down there, she will tend to politely stop your hand. Then you know where your limits lie at that moment. Then you have to decide whether she is still worth your time spent with her on future dates.

You've been seeing her for two months now. The texting everyday with basically nothing to say is a time waster, kills challenge, and removes mystery from the whole dating experience. She's probably getting bored. Catching up on how you're doing should be saved for your dates. Pick up the phone and call her once or twice per week. Keep it 10-15 minutes per call. The phone should only be used as a tool to secure a date. It should not be the actual date itself. Once a salesman closes the deal and gets your money s/he leaves immediately and disappears so you will not change your mind. The same with dating.

Your messages come across as bit clingy. Paying attention to details would help you greatly.


a. She told you there was a blackout the proper response should have been to make sure she was OK or show some compassion. Women love that stuff even if you don't do a damn thing about it. Substituting this for the "flowers", "clingy texts", and "nice guy antics" would help your cause a lot.

b. When she told you that she was going to be sleeping that meant she wasn't interested in talking to you. Not responding was good, but not calling for four days would have been the move (that includes texting too). It would have left her wondering and raised her interest level. Instead, you called when you got home anyway. Dang. In the very least makes you come across as inconsiderate and rude (even if she was blowing you off) because she was sleeping.

c. When she told you she had to study for an exam that was ages away that was her telling you (once again) she wasn't interested in being bothered with you. If she can't find an hour in a week to at least have some coffee with the man she's been seeing for two months "That aint good, brotha" If you want to see her the best bet would have been to pick up the phone and say "Let's grab mexican at La Pampa's on Tuesday. How does 7 sound?" Make sure the day you ask for is 4-7 days out. You'll be less likely a victim of rejection (as you were).

d. You "really want to see a show" that she's part of? You're telling me that you can't control your urges to save yourself some dignity and perhaps go see something else? This is why dating coworkers and people in your circle are always bad ideas. Well, if you show up to that show you're going to look desperate regardless of your intention. You know she hasn't kept you and her a secret... This is the sacrifice you'll have to make by NOT GOING.

Flowers, excessive texting, being needy for attention and what not all convey nice guy and/or says you have no real life outside of her.

At work - do not ignore her. Not speaking will be a give away that you're "mad" and is a silent temper tantrum. She'll know what's up. Be polite and say "hey, how's it going?" with a big smile in passing and keep going.
If she wants to talk..tell her you're "busy with important projects, lets talk later."

Possible solution: No texting or calling for ONE WEEK. Pick it up and follow the advice in point c. Call her on a weeknight to set up a weeknight date. No weekends.