Girl never initiates text conversations



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 5:44 am 
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This one girl i have been texting for a few weeks never initiates texts. However she seems to be enthused with her tone in regards to texting. She uses a lot of exclamation marks and a questions to keep the conversation going and genuinely seems to be interested.

I asked her to drinks on our campus during our breaks twice now. Both times she has had something to do on her break like 'go home and get a book cause she had a test' and the second time she had to 'go to the dentist' during our break.

We don't have many breaks that match up but she seems interested in setting another date. Problem is she never seems to initiate text conversations. She replies with enthusiasm, but never initiates.

If anyone has any insight into this it would be awesome, thanks.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:57 am 
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Don't text her for a few days. Usually she'll text you to ensure you're still interested.

I used to be frustrated about this, but honestly it doesn't mean anything. If it happens, great. If not, whatever. As long as she meets up with you and you kiss/fingerbang/fuck her, then the lack of her initiating text means nothing.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 5:12 pm 
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So i text her last night and said "Hey, you on campus tm?"

She never ended up responding and i think i saw her today @ school to..

I guess my plan will be to not text her for like a week unless she initiates

Thoughts?


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 9:39 pm 
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Stop texting her immediately. Even if she doesn't contact you for a year.

She will text you. You just need to stop texting her first.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 10:59 pm 
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I find that when a girl is interested - we've kinda took turns in initiating texts.

On the other hand, I've been out with girls who have pay as you go, or girls who don't really use their phone, or who leave it lying around all the time - and they never initiated texts; two of them are in long term relationships now/married now, and say they still never do... - so maybe it doesn't matter.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:27 am 
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Man I'm like experiencing the same shit. I've read the post on "texting girls" and am no AFC when it comes to bland, instantaneous text-backs.

This girl I've been talking to we have been out a few times now. Whenever I text her, unless she's at work or something she almost always texts back in < 3 mins. I though will pace it out, and so far everytime i've initiated a meet-up we hang out. I'm just at a breaking point due to the fact that i'm not going to make myself appear needy by texting her everyday, however, she'll NEVER initiate a text convo unless I act first (except like obvious shit like "i'm at your house let me in").


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 7:58 am 
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Quote:
So i text her last night and said "Hey, you on campus tm?"

Thoughts?
Don't ask yes/no questions. A better one would've been, "Some of my friends and I are meeting for coffee tomorrow if you want to join."


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 1:52 pm 
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Make her the side-note to your interesting life, instead of the reason and center. Like jimij said, you are doing something interesting, and it would be her privilege to join you, you don't need her to have fun. As hard as it can be, stop texting her, it's really as simple as that, and when she initiates afterwards give her the aforementioned response. If she doesn't initiate, she isn't worth your time m8.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 3:46 pm 
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So she has not initiated back yet, im thinking about just dropping this one and focusing on my other prospects. But in the back of my mind im debating on maybe calling her mid day and ask her for drinks. I feel that calling conveys more confidence and it is certainly less impersonal. Even though she still has not initiated or messaged me back since Monday.

Thoughts on this?


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 4:00 pm 
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Everyone is telling you to not initiate and your still thinking about calling her? Stop man. Forget it, move on. Might sound harsh but its in your best interest. You'll see that when she initiates things will go much smoother. Good luck


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 7:54 pm 
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Let's not forget that you are the man, she is the woman. You're supposed to do most/all of the initiating. I've dated girls before who would only start to initiate a text convo/call me up when we've been seeing each other for a few weeks.

From my experience, not initiating does NOT mean not interested. Some girls like to stick to more 'traditional' gender roles. OK, some will initiate, but some just want to be initiated. I've had a couple of great girlfriends who started like this. From what you've said, she COULD be one of these, or it COULD be that she just enjoys the attention... I agree you should back off for a while, don't call/text too much etc. But when you do, don't forget that the goal of texting her is to get her on a date, not just texting for the sake of it.

Hope to hear some good news on this soon!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 3:38 am 
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Girls who are realy interested in me initiate chat.
When she initiates I feel like I dont have to.
Girls who I initiate rarely start the conversation in the future.
Girls who dont initiate chat still want to meet me when asked.
When a girl doesnt initiate it can be from not needing ur reply.
People have other people besides you to talk to about boring personal stuff.
She might not have the courage or it doesnt seem she needs to or wants to talk.
She has more than one man available.
She might prefer someone more than you and initiates him untill she sees its not going to work.

I had a question like this some time ago.
Made a test. So I sent a drawm heart picture on my chest via phone to girls I know dont have my number for valentines day. The replys were different. Most of them wanted to know who I was. Some didnt reply. And some got angry as I didnt respond to their texts. The ones that were realy interested were not pretty or seemed needy with low self-esteem or young.

How a girl responds to certain things depends on how she has learned to react in situations. The hot girls who get texts all day dont have the need to initiate. It all comes down to the girl having something to initiate you for, a cause.
For example if you both like comedies she can tell you she watched a comedie and recommend it as an initiative to a conversation.

When girls initiate me and try to small talk I tell them im bored and dont like smalltalk. So they might have nothing to say and consequentialy get some sort of fear of this kind of rejection when chatting up guys.

There is more I just dont have enough experience to completely answer this question yet.

Ohhh and if you want her to initiate you should tell her to do that, direct or indirect whatever you think is best. "text me whenever you feel like it" or more indirect depending on the situation "the next time you blablabla you should let me know" or "if you (location) text me".


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 6:48 pm 
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Amazed, you should follow everyone's advice and let her go for a while. The more you insist the less attracted she will be. She may be just too busy to see you, or whatever. Go for other girls in the meantime. And do what jimji said, I do that all the time when I ask people if they are up for something, guys or girls.

For future reference, some girls will genuinely let you have leadership of the interaction. The girl I'm currently seeing rarely shows too much emotion (her own confession, its her defense mechanism) and despite what she wants, won't take initiative. So I always text her, and at first I thought her excuses where bs, but we met up 3 or 4 times and now I know its just who she is. Calibrate the type of person that she is.

For example, a girl that is very extrovert and outgoing, you can expect her to text you if she is interested, at least after the first time you text her. Very few girls will actually text you without you having done so at least once. Just like very few girls would buy guys drinks, no matter how attracted to them.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 7:25 pm 
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If a girl doesn't initiate texts with me I don't text her for a while, unless she has something I need.
e.g. One girl I texted stopped texting me and never initiated texts. About three weeks later I remembered she knew about this club that she'd told me about briefly that sounded pretty cool. So I texted her and asked what it was called and where it's at after not texting her for three weeks. She told me and I said thanks and stopped texting her again.

If it goes 8 years without her texting me again I don't fucking care, she's not worth my time if she wont invest any of hers. And besides, now I know of a club that plays house music and shit and I"m going to check it out tonight.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:02 pm 
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A girl who is interested will definitely initiate, unless he is extremely conservative, insecure, or shy. It's more likely that you aren't that interesting to her. Maybe a 5 out of 10.

I am a big fan of the mistaken text message trick. Send a message saying something about how amazing last weekend was and then write something intriguing. Maybe like, "Good God Melissa [made up name], I thought you were all talk when you said you were wild. I'm a believer. I've got another idea when I have an evening to meet up."

Then if she doesn't text you back immediately to ask you what it's about, give it a few minutes and send another text to say sorry that it was meant for someone else. Then don't text her and see how it goes.


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