| Any general advice/references on how to perform a comeback/salvage after getting sloppy?
Next to that there is a specific situation I'm dealing with:
Hot girl. Went clubbing together a couple of times (with some other guys and girls).
Did e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g right. I mean everything. Built a lot of pressure. I was funny, really non-needy, direct, self-confident, validated by other men and women and a nice guy now and then. The girl got a lot of a attention (and I mean a LOT) of other guys for years (I know her 3 months now). I showed some interest in het personality and we had real good conversations, like she didn't have for a long time. Meanwhile teasing her, having fun and being absolutely non-needy. A lot of guys have her phonenumber and even more so ask her every week. I only added her on fb, so I could ask if she is going out during the weekend, on a private message.
So, until this point the story went well. Then one night, the heat was pretty high and she tried to kiss me. I more or less rejected by pulling my head sideways, but on a gentle manner, not trying to disrespect her or make fun of her. I had a lot of reasons not to kiss a girl publicly in that club. After that I kept building the tension (with dancing, touching, talking). We left the club more or less holding hands, and outside she told my how weird it was that I did everything right for getting her attracted to me, unlike the other guys. The fact that I rejected her kiss made her even want me more she said. Then she tried again and we kissed. Passionately. And a lot. We walked, pausing every minute to start kissing again (is there something as too much kissing?). We were heading to my appartment. She was constantly initiating the kissing, but she kept saying she shouldn't do this. And I did not reply and we made out again, etc... Then, really close to my appartment she pulls me onto a park bench, keeps kissing me and initiates some pre-sex moves.
I had ZERO intention of f***ing her there on that bench. I mean, she was hot and I am a man but: not there, not that way. Se was pretty drunk, which also is a no-no for me most of the times. But thruth be told, if that was the only thing, I would have done her. Also, I figured I had a couple of drinks so there was a chance of my performance not being amazing, which I always intend ,LOL. We went on and reached my appartment. There were two friends of mine (the stayed over, and got the key) and three friends of her there, with one cockblocker so we entered upon a slightly awkward situation, with one of her friends being moody and wanting to leave (for a long time I heard later).
To prevent this post for becoming too long: nothing happened that night, and I messed everything up big time after that:
Next day she mailed me saying that we should forget what happened (meaning....?) even stating it was a mistake and how she desperately hoped we could still hang out together (we are not friends). I agreed. Later I started to feel guilty, because of her request.... I figured I may have misused the situation of her being drunk for my pleasure and I expressed this to her.... She assured me this was not the case, for almost everything was physically initiated by her (I was constantly gaming her tho, but she doesn't know of course).
And then I got sloppy, acted pretty wussy, sending her way too much messages, showed some neediness and even seeking approval.... : I screwed up (because I really started to like her) and immediately noticed the effects. I stopped contacting her digitally, but also got no approaches of her... Then we went out again two weeks ago, and it was fun again, but almost no physical contact. Then she asked me if I had her number, and I replied: no, but I dont need to, I can contact you if it's needed (which is true and It prevents me for texting her too much) but later on gave her my number. Then.. I screwed up again (how stupid can one be) I messaged her a lot (but on a genuine subject, she wanted to talk about). But again the ratio of my input versus her reaction was way too high. So now I stopped contacting her (she did not initiate anything) and just wait what happens. I have to be off the radar for a while now.
But any advice on this situation? I know I will not make these mistakes again on another girl, but Id like to see this situation with this girl salvaged....
TLDR: did everythin right, built a strong frame, passionately kissed her, she wanted sex, we didn't do it, next days I lost my frame, acted like a pussy etc., freezed out, how to make a comeback?
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