# INTERACTION # 01-03-12

Help, I need some advanced advice from u guys. I had a small thread on this girl before where i got the advice to concider her dead, and move on!
Well i did, but today this happened!!!!

About her
She is blonde, half American half Italian. She is petite, but with some excelent curves. She's 4 years older then me. If you'd see her you'd give her an 8-8,5 on looks i guess. I'm quite picky when it comes to looks. But this is why i like her. She is so fucking smart guys. I mean verry analytical and this combined with her looks makes her my 9,5. To me she feels like the girl that is different from the others and thats what interests me. (I'm harly interested in a girl besides the sex she can give me since i game.)

Our history (brief version)
Met her at the university bar, she gave me a verry intense look when i walked by. I knew her friend and we had conversation about deep shit 2 or three times. I was in a relationship and her friend was inviting me to their place (They live together). I was a different man back then and we argued about phylosophy. I left the convo in a sort of bad vibe.

I broke up. And she happend to work out at the same gym. So i got her number. Some texts going on but she's always overanalysing them. I cant be cocky funny to her over text. She (on purpose) misinterprets everything. So i didn't overtext her. Then i saw her at the bar. The texts left a bad vibe but i managed to ask her to work out the next day.

She was late and it started bad. But my bodylanguage, positiveness and constant smile made it a good interaction. I now stopped texting her again and when i asked her for a drink at the uni she responded verry well but couldn't come. It was a sincere answere, she had an important lecture, but told me she would come an hour later then. I had diner with my friends an hour later so we didn't see eachother.

So we work out together for two more times and she puts on more make-up. Is verry puncual. Asks for a welcome kisses. Some hugs when we leave as well. Intese looks going on. This was getting the right way. I remember the last time she swopped her serious/critical caracter for a femminin/soft one. I almost couldn't believe this was the same girl.

Some things i figuered out about her:
She takes Cocky/funny and teasing serious. I mean verry serous, maybe she has no humor...
I once stopped texting her back in the middle of a convo. And she reinitiated it she next day (with much better response times/ longer texts). So responds verry well to breaking report.


When it got bad
I asked her out for a free capoeira class (i took some lessons before). When she entered she turned her cheeck to my face and waited like "give me a kiss". So some good signs were there. After class we kept talking outside. I initiated a night walk in the direction of her house. We had some deep conversation about familly, goals in life etc.

So i keep walking until we're in front of her house. I wanted to kiss her now because i though i had to escalate physically (bulshit pick-up tactics). But it would be unnatural so i asked; "You have thea"? (it's freezing cold). We drink thea on the couch and she is distanced. She wants to talk about study study study. And i'm like fuck i have to escalate (i know now i shouldn't). So i say; "give me that smile again"... "No you have to smile with your eyes!"... "Let me help you!" and now i move in. She says no no no no. I lean back put on a smile and look at her like yes yes yes. So slowly i move in again and we make out.

First no toung, but when she felt like it we speeded up and the vibe goes well. She starts to lick my lips when i touch her body. I touched her breasts and everything but she pulls my hand away when i'm close to her pussy. So i pulled it back. We move on like this for 10 minutes i think. And then she says you have to go. I'm like yes fcourse but not before i hugged you to death. We hugged 2 minutes. It felt good. and then i lifted her up to go towards the door. She start licking my lips again with her eyes closed. So i thought she wanted more. I threw her on the bed and we looked at eachother. She said no no no you have to go. But her face looked like GIVE ME MORE! when she said it. I'm like ok, and get my jacket. She is waving her hair, giving me looks and smiling when i put on my jacket.

I now push her towards the wall and she opens her mouth. I don't kiss her but only touch her nose. I'm extremely dominant in my BL at this point. (wouldn't do that again ever) But i leave. I trow a snowball at her window after i had my bike unlocked. She doesn't look outside.

Contact her again
I send a little message the next day. No resonse
I call her a few days later. No respose
I cal her 5 more times maybe. No response

I know it's bad to call this many times but i did. I finally (after a week) send her this.

Me: This is awkward... Be honest ####! i concidered you an adult.
Her: I think you have not realised how shocking your behaviour has been for me i dont really know what to say to you.
Me: Wow i feel really bad now...can you breifly tell me what freaked u out? I never had this before...I dont want you to rememorise this so i understand what to do...but before i break contact i want to say i'm really sorry. btw don't try to avoid places like the gym. I wont talk to you....(my name)
Her: I'm not avoiding any place , i just feel uncomfortable with you. I am going to sleep now i will tell you in another moment.

END conversation! 2 monthes no contact

So now i understand that you guys would say "the's more fish in the sea, move on bro!". I had the same but this happened today!

Excidentally meeting her again
I'm at the gym, my buddy comes upstairs to inform me she entered. I'm in a verry social state today. Talking to everyone in the gym. Working out with people i don't know. I ruled the place! and i am happy. I go down to fill my bottle and i see her. I don't approach her. I'm making jokes with some guy just 30m from her with my back turned towards her.

25 minutes later i walk down again to use a machine that is right next to where she is working out (my buddy told me where she was). So i walk down with this unbreakable smile on my face! She is right in front of me working out. And we look eachother right in the eyes. She smiles back verry intense. She has music on and is doing an excesize. I instal myself on the machine next to her and when she is finished woring out she gets her music off and asks me how i am. I'm fine! (big smile), and how are you doing at the university. Verry well i say. (The vibe was goooood! and she's asking me questions) Normally i would wait with asking questions back untill she gets more interested.

But my interest for her made me ask questions back right away. (stupid). She asked why i didn't come up to her the first time i saw her. (This is typical to her she always asks me questions that make me think.... uhm well i't just how it is girl). I say well i'm afraid of you i guess.
I NEED ADVICE ON THIS BECAUSE THESE QUESTIONS MAKE ME SELFCONCIOUS AND THIS IS WHY I CANT KEEP UP THE GOOD VIBE WITH HER!! i can't lead

She now want to talk about the texts we send. I respond with "How are you?", she continues bitching over the texts so i say "How are you?" again. Fine she says, and we had 2 minutes of good interaction. Basically as if nothing happened. No even better.

I continue my work out and have to fill my bottle again. I ask if i should fill hers. Although it was not empty she smiled while saying "Yes thank you!". I fill it up and when i come back she's in the middle of a workout so i put it next to her with the words "voila madame"! she smiled. And i start working out again she wants to say something but i keep doing my work out. focus!

So we encountered eachother 2 more times. The first time she's asking these questions again. Like, what about that smile you just gave me. I say i have many smiles. Do you study them? yes, i study facial expressions.
I rapidly feel this topic is leading nowhere. And she puts me into defence mode. But this piece of convo is so typical to girls i like. I NEED ADVICE ON HOW TO BREAK OUT OF THIS!

However i was in my best possible mood today and I'm working out upstairs. Looking down to her from the balcony and i become horny as hell. So my buddy tells me, ask her out bro you'd always do that. Just grab a drink with her tomorrow. I'm like i dont know.

So the last time i encounters her i fuck up again. I go over to her machine. Ask some questions and i now say. oh yeah, i have to ask .... i'm going to practice some capoeira moves upstairs tomorrow morning and i'm doing some heavy leggpress as well. So if you feel like sweating with me, come over. (i brought it unnatural and overplanned) She's like nah, i have to study tomorrow morning, i will be here in the evening and she walks away. I'm like i have plans already in the eavening, and i go back to my machine.

Fuck! i thought

Advice needed on
- how to break out of the testing questions.
- The interaction in general, get the vibe to move on more positively.
- And, verry important... What to do next!? ( move on is no option here )
- Any other deficiency you see

Thanks for reading guys can you HELP ME?!!

I have to add i have options, so it's not that this is making me depressed at all. It's just that i feel imy game can improve, and this interaction might put all of that under a microscope

_________________
HI

wow I read all that for a one itis.

Your problem is that you value her opinions over your own. You act as a man, throwing her on her bed. You then fail to go lead forward all the way, leaving her confused. She says shes confused the next day and you apologize for it.

You were incongruent. She reacted positively to you leading (she said nonono to kissing but that was just her femininity and afterwards she wanted to kiss you). Before that she was the one leading (asking you for kisses). Basically you went from showing little interest (dominant) to leading forward (starting to make out with her - dominant) and then you cracked and started apologizing (AFC).

Step up and be a man. You don't change for a girl you like. A girl should like you for who you are. With this in mind, I would unapologize.

Talk to her face to face otherwise over phone. I´ll write what I would say but you should say your own words.

"Look, I know I said I was sorry, but I'm not. Our kiss was a wonderful moment - those are too rare. No regrets. I'm not saying I want to start dating. But your still stuck in my mind. Cya around"

Still though, this woman is making you unhappy. Maybe you should move on.

_________________
No matter what, I must live without regret

Life is good

Live it for yourself

OMG thanks for this answer!
It encourages me to step up and be a man.
I have to add she's not making me depressed or anything. Nope not the case.
When i think about this dominating mindset, i'm afraid of going into negative vibes.

But anyways this is still a problem to me;
I can't send her over text right???.
Well i'm not sure if she's going to pick up the phone
and if she doesn't, i AFC'd myself bigtime!
I can wait to encounter her again but this can take months

_________________
HI

You shouldn't text it, for two reasons. One, texting doesn't show courage. Two, whenever you send the first text, when it isn't about logistics or something short, you are lowering your market value, as you need her to text you back. The best thing in my opinion is if you run into her and say it. This is because it will make it seem as if it just came in to your thoughts randomly, rather than that you have obsessed about her or something.

I'm not the best one to answer a question about her not picking up the phone. However, I'd say that calling shows guts. And if you only call once, then that doesn't show AFC - since she can't know what you wanted. If you call her 10 times, then she knows your needy, that is AFC.

However, calling her to give your speech is pretty weird.

_________________
No matter what, I must live without regret

Life is good

Live it for yourself

so you will get as many chances as girls you approach,

each girl will give you a window of opportunity to have sex with her (or will not be interested), you absolutely did the right thing, escalating is something you do cause it feels right to you, and you want to do it, don't worry about her, just do it if you want and if she doesn't want it she won't allow it, simple as that, that is why it is called compliance testing, you are testing to see if she allows it, you wanted to have sex with her, and you went for what you wanted and led things there, good work, that is what you do

the problem however was you are not used to getting resistance, and you probably could have just had sex with her if you dealt with her lmr better, she says no you have to leave, you say you're right, stop for a second like you are going to leave then when she gets close, make out and back to the bed, no you have to leave, again, stop, then back to going to leave... but maybe just a little more..., back to makeout again, until she is absolutely serious and stopping you

the next day if she is non responsive, don't be needy, if a girl does not answer a call or a text, you don't call or text her more, you stop calling or texting and try again another day (if you are ignored/flaked on 3x in a row and notice a pattern, fall off let her come to you, don't waste time and effort on a dis-interested girl you will just push her away), don't be butthurt over things, always assume the best possible scenario, and don't appologise for being a man and escalating, if she doesn't like it she will stop you and break contact with you,

next if you are texting a fuckload more then you have to, and working alot harder then you should have to, you are totally way too into this girl, and texting her after that day with all that im sorry for trying to sleep with you shit, was silly, you were not really sorry so don't ever lie, don't take it back, if she tries to test you, be a man and be honest, don't avoid it like it is evil, but rather treat her like she is weird for viewing sex negatively (if she does)

just realize though that sometimes when a girl is not all that comfortable with the idea of sleeping with you, and you get really close to having sex and she is not sold yet completely on you, then you could make her a bit anxious she might like you, but hanging out with you or contacting you in her mind would lead to sex, and if she is sure of this and not comfortable with it, then she will avoid it so she doesn't feel slutty and responsible for putting her self in that position, the only way to really deal with this is persistance (not fucking neediness don't be confused), and holding your frame (you broke yours immidiately as soon as she broke contact with your appology and ''this is awkward... be honest ####! etc.

don't do that calling her out shit, control your emotions and be a man, if a girl is not talking to you, you don't need her, talk to other girls and wait her out, try again when her vagina has time to air out, maybe she got some sand up in there and it needs to heal, who knows, give her space and try again later, don't be MR. NEED YOU RIGHT NOW AND CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU

now she is asking you questions, she is interested in you, you have another window of opportunity, cut your contact down so she doesn't get a chance to have those questions answered, get her to meet up with you in person and hang out (you can use her questions as bait), isolate her and try to have sex with her again, the less information you can give away the better, think of this in terms of supply and demand, right now your attention is in high demand, make it more scarce and it will stay that way, the person hunting the product will invest more heavily in the product while it is in higher demand

if she is not willing to invest as far as a meetup, then who cares, move on, more girls out there that are not a waste of time, if she is interested enough she will hang out, no point in chasing her around just to validate her ego when she doesn't want to validate your penis

stay positive, you are in your head overthinking things, you are you, be confident in yourself, you are not fucking up, she is fucking up by not being cool, invite her out as much as you want, but stop making this girl the focus of your universe, she is just a girl, no matter how hot she is there will be hotter, and there will be cooler, you just have to stop caring about her so much, leave her as an option, but not as a priority in your life

GOOD LUCK

Ok i'm very glad with your advices

Just an additional note;
She's not the centre of my universe. I have girls around me. But yeah i want that pussy for sure! The "move on" part is handled verry well. I go out 2 times a week and learning shitloads from it!
I feel like once a girl has a certain quality in my eyes things become a little different for me. And you guys are helping me out bigtime. Another thing for me is the resistance thing.

I now realize i have to be even more of a man around these girls.

But about what to do next!
So i understand that waiting to run into her is best.
The thing is she's moving to Turkey soon for a university project (for a few months).
So if i don't see her soon it's going to take months!
But is there any alternative?

So i then unappologize with a verry dominant frame.
I should also ask her out immediately!
And when we meet up i escalate bigtime! (getting horny only thinking about it)

Funny thing is i now realise my exgf (7 years of relationship) is like these girls. Testing me out/ checking my armor/ resisting. She's sitting on my couch right now while typing this. (ooowps) But with her i handle it fine. I'm verry dominant/ Dont let her run over me/Escalate bigtime! Just lead. I have to project this onto her as well i think!

_________________
HI

I think you should ask yourself something.

Do you want a fuck or a relationship?

If you want a fuck then you shouldn't obsess so much about one girl. If you want a relationship then her moving away for a couple of months will give you a clean slate.

If you want to have the relationship, then you can pretty much text her and say "Before you go I just want to say...". Then shape up your game while she is gone.

If you want a fuck then proceed as plan.

_________________
No matter what, I must live without regret

Life is good

Live it for yourself

dude, you are massively DLVing yourself by doing little chores for her like filling up her bottle, walking down to talk with her and so on. I was cringing when I read that.

as I see it, you made an ill-judged bedroom play (coming to that later) but controlled yourself (since that is what she is supposedly pissed off about) and said sorry. she still treated you like shit after that.
if I were you I would be major pissed off at her, however much I may like her deep down. I would talk to her if she did but never initiate it. and don't be too ready to engage in light conversation even when she comes over, act a little bored and distant. works like a charm. I get the feeling you jumped at the chance at getting her back fearing you might lose her if you don't act nice and all.

few years back there was this girl in my class I was friends with and later had a crush on, she blew me off and ignored me. I stopped all contact with her, even friendly ones, didn't talk to her and didn't even look at her.
she literally went f'ckin crazy about me ! she ended up being my GF for 2 years.

coming to the bedroom play, it's good to be bold and manly but keep an element of tease (2 steps forward, 1 step back. get her to take the next step. she should be begging you by the end of it) in it so that you can step back if you need. do apologise if you cross some unspoken limit (it all depends on the timing basically) but do not overdo it.
and NEVER let her give you a hard time over a momentary transgression. once I had told off a girl for pushing my hand away too roughly from her nether regions, she said sorry and pulled it right back so as not to hurt my feelings.

UPDATE!

Please, i want to know if i did right and what to do next.

Met her 2 hours ago at the gym
I was working out and not looking at her. She probably noticed me but i'm not sure(didn't look). Went to a machine next to her and she smiled when she saw me. Hey you cut of all your hair. I say; "yeh" (had long curls/now i'm milimetered, army look). I ignore her a bit and ask the guys uccupying the machine if they are finished. They are, and she leaves with them. So form this point on she worked out with them.

This is not a coincidence. The guy is verry similar to me (height/atletic/posture/way he acts). I know him from times ago, had a shot chat with him, but he ignores me.

I later see her but i don't initiate conversation. After a while she tells me she didn't like my hair. I say; "I do, makes me even sexyer". She hays no i dont like it again. I grab the stuff that i needed and go away.

Later i'm talking to a guy i know and were having good convo. I'm in state and i approach hert from the front pointing at her. Her smile disapears a bit and i say; "You have something to explain to me" while pointing at her. She realises what i'm talking about and her eyes go to thunder. I've naver seen anyone looking so dark. So i was a little shoched. She tells me shae cant explain it here two times. I say why not...is it that heavy". I just dont want to talk about it now. I say fine but i have to be honest to you (pauze). I'm not sorry at all.... She tells me; "thats verry disappointing" with a thunder look. I say; "Not that its going to change anything, but i'm just not". My BL/eyecontact were 70-80% of what it should be.

I'm now working out close to her. She doesn't look at me and i have my back turned to her, but she couldn't smile at all for 20 minutes.

She slowly recovers and starts to work out with these guys again. She's now standing verry close to my machine with her back turned to me. I say hey #### i'm using this, and she moves away a little.

10 min later she's pretty close to me again and i thought wat the hell lets push this a little further. I go to fill my bottle walk to her and say in her face; "Het can you occupy my machine, going to fill my bottle". Her face is a little uncomfertable/blushing/submissive. She says in a friendly tone; "yes i will". I return and walk only centimeters away from her while gettting to her. Dominant face and say; "Thnx". "No problem" little smile but with a blushing/uncomfertable face. All i wrote above happened while talking verry loud to some guys i know.

I now leave and hifive all of them but ignore her.

Guys please, what do you think!!!!!!???????
What should i do from here.
I'm semi happy because she's out of my head for some reason.
But her dark looks make me worry wether this is going to work out.

HELP!!!!!

_________________
HI

I read everything you wrote. Some things good you did and some things you did horrible. You are creating discomfort in her. Not Attraction and comfort. She is trying to make you jealous by hanging around the other guys. (DAMN BITCHES DO THAT) anyways, i would just ignore her for now. Dont talk to her at all. SMALL TALK doesnt accomplish anything. you need her to start chasing you. When she texts you, ignore it. If she calls, text her back saying im busy, not now. if she doesnt call you at all. Call her in week. STOP CHASING HER BRO

First for the answere and reading the entire topic. Yes she is indeed the biggest bitch i met so far. I just think like girls that have fire!

Second, since this last interaction i don't feel the need to chase her, so thats good
But i still want to fuck her because she's hot.(no LTR, why? red my journal)

I agree i created discomfort. I didn't expect her to react like this when i told her i'm not sorry. I think she really is convinced i did something wrong......? Or she's just being a bitch......?

I'm not going to contact her, but next time i meet her in person and she starts to talk to me should i act asif nothing happened/ignore her/put more pressure(no right)/ get into comfort (dunno how).

You're helping me out here thnx!!

_________________
HI

Ah I'm so glad you took my advice

There was a few mistakes but I think you achieved some very positive results. That hate glate isn't hate or ill feelings. If it was, she wouldn't seek your attention and instead avoid you. What has now happend is that the PRIZE went from being HER to being YOU. If you keep the relationship at this level you will get her eventually. Unless you fuck up or she meets someone else (but that is always the threat).

To tell what you must do now you should examine your relationship. Currently there is only sexual and aggressive tensions between you two. Therefore you can't just go and tell her a funny yoke or ask her out or something. You must play on what you got and that is sex and aggression.

Ideal scenario for me would be that I finish the gym at the same time as her and say "Lets go". then just go for a fucking walk or something (or a drive if you do that). That will be cool, sexy and mysterius and the aggresiveness won't get in the way.

Alternatively you can wait until she cools down but then YOU aren't the PRIZE anymore and you will instead be equals. However, the one who first approaches the other will then not be the prize. Unless you know how to escualate without the whole prize-ideal. I recommend Gambler for that

_________________
No matter what, I must live without regret

Life is good

Live it for yourself

Thanks for your advice again,
i'm really glad myself as well. Specially because of the above quote. My god i really feel it's that way now.

Arrange the walk/chat..?
I'm quite new to this dominating direct frame, but i feel that is key to hold it strong and it feels fucking amazing to be in charge. I like this idea of a misterious walk verry much. But how to arrange it?
Should i tell her something like this while still working out;

Me: "Look, we can make things verry complicated but i just like to be simple and honest. i tink the kiss we had was wonderfull and those are rare. I cannot appologize for something i don't regret"
Her: (probably something like) i dont want to talk about this now/here. (Or) thats verry disapointing
Me: "Look, i have two more exersizes on my list, i'm going to get changed, were going out and have a little walk(/chat)"(blank face/dominant posture).

But again i dont want to be the one to start the conversation RIGHT? So i cannot bring this up out of the blue

It seem hard to me to arrange the walk in a non-needy/rejection proof way. So yeh HELP, WHAT ARE YOUR SUGESTIONS
And if we do go for the walk what should i do.

The walk
Tell something simmilar like i told in the gym. And escalate fysically hard and dominant. Break a (potential) kiss at the climax and tell her blanc faced "were going to your place". She'll probably test me and say no. (she's hard with capital HHH).

SUGESTIONS?
Escalation
I can imagine she'd intiate conversation with me but she'll never start to chase me (via text/in person). She's too calculated/intelegent/proud for that.

At times i can escalate verry well. But i'm going to watch his dvd again!
And yeh; should i maintain this little uncomfertable frame with her? Or add something to fix it......? (add some comfort... HOW?)

Thanks, u guys are helping me out!!!!! Bigtime
But for now i can tell this topic and your help made me break trough and improve me

_________________
HI

hey, maybe you should just stop being so needy and listen to what she has been telling you and actually taking note of what she is doing,

she goes to the gym to workout, not to be hit on, or talk to you

if you see her there, cool, you can talk to her, but you are not the reason she is there, and being confronted with something, or being seduced, is most likely not what she had in mind before going to the gym,

starting a conversation, or not starting a conversation, doesn't have very much to do with value, who is cooler is more important, who likes who more, as a rule of thumb the guys are the approachers, but one of the two people will be more sure of themselves, and therefore cooler

you are being very needy and having a very restricted mindset, you are trying to get this specific girl when she is not being compliant, instead of playing it cool, you are trying to force something that is not there, you should be getting other girls and forgetting this girl, if she is more interested let her come to you, still try to contact her, and keep in touch (don't burn the bridge), but stop trying so hard to force something, when she has not really reciprocated any attempt to further things

also don't get dominant confused with domineering, the most dominant is the person that can remain in control, you don't have to control other people to be dominant, just control yourself

if you want to get her out, invite her out, you don't need to bring up the past, she either is interested or not interested, but you should stop focusing on this so much, and broaden your options, until you have actually put your penis inside of her she is just another girl, and kissing doesn't mean very much, especially coming from a cute girls perspective

Hahahah this made me laugh. Don't understand me wrong i'm here for advice, but your tone is a little offensive.

First and i have been trying to get this out of the way already; She is not the center of my universe and i do meet alot of girls. You can read this in my journey, just click the link. I would be glad to hear what you think about it!!! please read it

Second; Why did i then start this topic if i could just move on and meet other girls..... Yeh the thing is she is a sertain type of girl (strong caracter/huge bitch sheeld/ testing me out all the fucking time/manipulating/verry intelligent). And after dating multiple of these girls (i like them) the same happens to me again and again. I do feel this topic is bringing me further already. My new roommate for instance is testing me all the fucking time/ trying to dominate me. I can now pass all her attempts to test me out resulting in this; two days ago she trew herself at me and i couldn''t get her out of my room because she wanted to sleep with me. Read my journey for more detail. But yeh you are definately right; "i'm doing far from perfect"!! So All your advices are welcome.

When you say just be cooler can you be more specific. As you notice i write in detail and i do this because this is the only way guys like you (helping me out) can really give me specific advice. Its not that hard to change behavior, but it's hard to see what you do wrong yourself. Make me realise what i should change!!!:)

asking her out at this point feels like sewicide at this point.
Give me your sugestion what to do from this point on, you did take the time to read it.

Looking forward to it!

_________________
HI