| For all intents and purposes, you have to assume she’ll never like you again. But, if there ever was a chance, you’d miss it by assuming there wasn’t - so on that principal (which is a principal you apply to all of life, nothing special about this situation) you can keep an eye out for signs. But there’s no reason to assume she will. Here’s why;
Biologically, women risk a lot more than men by “chasing”. It’s men chasing women, everyone knows this. And because everyone knows this, if a women chases a man, she runs the risk of appearing desperate. Even though that’s not the case - that’s the fear of how it may seem. (I’d be happy to elaborate on this but the post will become quite lengthy. Just ask.) So if you reject a woman when she’s run such a high risk, you hurt her real bad. And she will hate you. Like how if you trusted someone with something precious and they do something bad with it, you’d hate that person more than the average joe who you didn’t entrust with the ability to hurt you so much. It’s just how it is.
But there’s another level of stupidity to what you did. (But this sequence of events is quite common). Women biologically look for a mate that will provide and protect them. And one of the qualities is emotional stability. Women are far more in tune with reading emotions and expressing them, but the downside is that sometimes they can be overwhelmed by them. So a key quality in a good mate is someone who can provide stability for her when she needs it. If you demonstrate a lack of this quality, you can be out so fast...
And finally, when you are in the courtship phase, and they are really into you, and then you display a key unnatractive thing - such as low confidence, emotional instability, etc. and suddenly the amazing guy they thought they were with, turns out to be a wuss, this stark contrast causes a strong emotional response. She needs to cut ties with you, and rationalise that she never liked you in the first place. And even interpret your subsequent behaviour in a totally unnecessarily negative way. It’s like you fooled her into giving her emotions to someone that really didn’t deserve that kind of intimacy from them. There would be a very strong biological reason for this reaction, and I can’t explain it fully yet - but regardless - this is what happens.
All of the above happened for you. And here’s why you did it.
When you got anxious with her playing “hard to get”, it was your own insecurities about why you couldn’t get her to be more intimate with you. Your little outburst in the text message “stop messaging me, I don’t want a cyber girlfriend” was a key sign that you weren’t emotionally stable. Of course, this isn’t written in a female’s handbook anywhere - this is just biological, evolved over millions of years. You demonstrated a lack of control, and it’s just very unattractive to a female. And naturally, your rejection hurt, a lot, as it would male or female.
But she wasn’t playing hard to get - males are generally not as good with emotions - you see, while you were pre-occupied with “getting further with her”, she was enjoying the flirting and drawing it out, making it special. A few experiences in life are fun when they’re hard and fast, but I’m sure you’ll agree that most experiences in life were best when they were built up, drawn out, teased, had mystery, etc. and that’s the wave she was riding. And as you pay more attention to the way women feel and why they do things, you’ll be able to appreciate this more.
But that was not the clincher - you nearly came back from that. It was a one off, and wasn’t enough to knock out everything that had happened so far. In fact, because it was a one off, it MAY have been due to something temporary, eg. a death in the family, who knows. But a one off thing like that is possible to overcome.
It’s the drawn out demonstrations of unattractive qualities that will seal your fate. And you rightly identified it was your pleading and rationalising. Men are good with logic, but the downfall is relying on it too heavily where emotions are required. You cannot logically rationalise a woman into liking you. The things that turn her on are attractive qualities which women have evolved to spot over millions of years that can’t be faked. (But it can be learned). You can’t fake unshakable self confidence. You can’t fake emotional stability in the face of very testing situations. And when you fall back on logic in these situations, it’s another demonstration of a lack of an attractive quality.
So, that’s why you did what you did.
And right now all you can take from that is how not to behave in the future. If you feel frustrated, focus on the good things that are happening, and ask yourself - how would I feel if I lost it? That will help you keep your head straight. And if things go to shit - don’t rationalise with her. Just be a man, it’s the only way back. There isn’t much you can do but hopfully the above helps you understand what’s going on and then helps you to avoid doing it again.
You MAYYYY have a chance with her in the future - but who knows. But seriously - what you’re doing right now is great. Great great great, it’s good stuff - the gym, the grooming, the girls, it’s the very very best thing you can be doing right now, and you’re doing it VERY well. It’s good for you and it’s good for your future opportunities with girls.
So yeah, the short answer is - don’t do it again, and what you’re doing now is fine. Hope it was enlightening.
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CHAT
She has her 100% attention on me. She'll ask why I look so tired that day etc.
