Need some advice, girls gone cold after last meet.



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 1:20 am 
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Help: I know it's long but please read. Cliffs are at the bottom.

Meet hot chick through some friends, she gave us a lift home from the clubs, created some attraction with her. Next day she adds me on FB, writes on my wall saying it was nice to meet me etc. Coming up to New Years I messaged her on FB asking what she was up to and number closed. I was going to a house party then into the clubs to catchup with her, was messaging her all night but everyone else bailed on the clubs and it was to much of a hike for me on my own. She said it wasn't that great anyway, I created more attraction about giving her a new years kiss and cuddle and told her to come to mine after the clubs. She was getting a cab anyway and only lives 5 mins away. I told her she can crash at mine but we don't have a spare bed so she'd have to stay in my bed which she agrees.


Here's the bad part, I start to loose my voice. By the time she gets there my voice is ****ed and every few words I cant get the word out, so annoyed by now. Anyway she brings a friend over with her (she asked) and the guy her friend was hooking up with, they were only staying for a bit then going home, ontop of the voice my housemate is up and sits out the back with us. So her friend leaves (she tells her it's cool to) and unfortunately my housemate stays sitting out the back which doesn't help my causes of getting close to her. We wern't really tired so we all sit out the back and talk (again not that i really can), hard to keep creating the attraction/teasing her etc when I cant hardly talk. We finally head into my room, I give her some of my clothes to put on and we lay down, even with the A/C on the room is like a sauna because were in a heatwave and the sun was beaming on my room. I cuddle her and she cuddles me back, we talk for a bit but it was so hot to cuddle. She goes "I'd kiss you but I'm sick" and she really was sick but I'm unsure by then if I've stuffed up and that's why or it was really because she is sick. I said something like "I had the same thing last week so I don't mind". Didn't get the kiss and my game was so far off that night I can imagine why.

I cuddled her for a bit when we went to goto sleep but it was seriously so hot I stopped for both our sakes. We went to sleep for a few hours, talked some more then I dropped her home. Got a goodbye cuddle and that's it, and she said I'll message you later.

Between me loosing my voice, my housemate being there, her being sick, my room being a hot box and my game being off I think I ****ed this one.
She didn't message me that day so I ended up messaging her the next arvo asking how she was feeling, teasing her a little about a joke we had. She replied and we talked for a bit, she was saying how sick she is etc so I told her to get better so we can hangout again once I actually have a voice and she's better. She goes "yeah, hopefully ill be better soon "

I ended up telling her to message me the next day because I could tell she was in a bad mood, not really towards me but on a FB status she was and wasn't really her usual self in the messages.

Where should I go from here?
I told her we're having a pool party not next weekend the one after and before all that happened she said she was keen. What should I do in the mean time to get her intersted again or is it to late?

Normally I wouldn't care but she is pretty hot, which I know was the reason my game was off :\ The time before my game was spot on that's what got her interested, just gotta get that chance again and I'll make it happen. The only two things I have on my side are that one of her girl friends i kinda know only found out yesterday that we were hanging out because my housemate told her (they use to hookup) and she said that's good he's a cool bloke, so I'm hoping she puts in a good word and also her friend that came with her messaged my housemate basically saying if the other guy wasn't there she would have stayed as well. So I can probably set something up with my housemate, her bestie and me and her.

What should I do?

Cliffs:
- Met hottie through a friend
- Created Attraction
- Added me on FB and was clearly interested
- Plans to met at club on New Years fell through
- Got her to come to my place to stay after clubbing
- Every possible thing went wrong (lost voice, housemate in the way, she was sick, room was a hot box)
- Didn't even get a kiss
- Slept in my bed, talked then took her home
- Know I've dun goofed, she doesn't seem as interested
- May still have a chance through her friends


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 1:04 pm 
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You are worrying way too much for what you have going for you. Logistical problems such as being sick, too hot, house mate that can't get the hint (though with that one you should find an excuse to go to your room - any fucking thing, eg. "hey there's a book I want to show you" she'll read the dictionary for you at that point (not really but you get the idea- when things are fun, the novelty factor of everything is through the roof)

Everyone understands logistical problems, don't sweat it - be honest "hahah. It's too hot to cuddle hey..."

The things that sabotage you are negative actions on your part. Lack of confidence in yourself, worrying too much, inaction, apathy, etc. those are the demons.

You listed heaps of ways you can approach things - keep those in mind but go with the flow - the main thing to focus on is you being your best person, which is what got you here in the first place.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 10:27 pm 
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Quote:
You are worrying way too much for what you have going for you. Logistical problems such as being sick, too hot, house mate that can't get the hint (though with that one you should find an excuse to go to your room - any fucking thing, eg. "hey there's a book I want to show you" she'll read the dictionary for you at that point (not really but you get the idea- when things are fun, the novelty factor of everything is through the roof)

Everyone understands logistical problems, don't sweat it - be honest "hahah. It's too hot to cuddle hey..."

The things that sabotage you are negative actions on your part. Lack of confidence in yourself, worrying too much, inaction, apathy, etc. those are the demons.

You listed heaps of ways you can approach things - keep those in mind but go with the flow - the main thing to focus on is you being your best person, which is what got you here in the first place.
Thanks for the reply. I think I know what I did or didn't do wrong, as you stated above. I've been thinking about it and everything you said is right, I didn't have many things go in my favor but I also could have handled the situation better.

I guess I was hoping for some advice on where to go from here, if it was a girl I didn't really like (not that I probably would have fucked up if that was the case) it wouldn't bother me but this girls different.

Would it best best to just leave her until the next time I can see her in person. ie: not send her a text unless it is to meet up for our pool party etc.

I'm not so worried about it now because there's not a lot I can do but if I can salvage it I'd like too, getting a chance to game in person seems to best bet, since that's what got her interested to start with. I think the fact I'd had a few drinks helped my game that night. I think I still need to learn that no matter how good looking they are to still act/do the same things as any other girl.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 5:56 am 
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The danger here is getting so far into "but it's a girl I really like" mode that you treat her different than all the other times things have worked for you so far.

And don't play it too cool by never contacting her when you have an idea that you are pretty sure will be fun. You can lose the spark.

And you're still worried about salvaging etc. sounds to me like you already have plans to meet up again.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 7:12 am 
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Quote:
The danger here is getting so far into "but it's a girl I really like" mode that you treat her different than all the other times things have worked for you so far.

And don't play it too cool by never contacting her when you have an idea that you are pretty sure will be fun. You can lose the spark.

And you're still worried about salvaging etc. sounds to me like you already have plans to meet up again.
Don't get me wrong, I like the girl but more of a physical attraction. She's cool but I don't want to be with her, hanging out with casual sex would be the ultimate goal.

I think I treated her differently because she's a solid 9/10 even close to 9.5 territory, so I know I need to get that out of my head or I'll ruin it.

Yeah I made plans to have her come over for a pool party in a weeks time, but that was before the other night. I could always give her a text see how she's feeling then leave her for a few days then ask about the pool party.

It is weird though, I'm never this beta or not know what to do. But I can't quiet read this girl as easy as the rest.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 9:18 am 
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where to take it from here?
have sex with her,

stop worrying she either likes you or she doesn't you don't have to ''over game'' her to death, she probably wanted to fuck you the last time, but you gotta escalate not her,

she either comes over or she doesn't, you don't have to hit her up every two seconds ''creating attraction'' let her chase you, don't be the one chasing her, she is either into you or she isn't, shes got an invite to the pool party, have sex with her at the pool party and stop stressing, she either has sex with you or doesn't, you don't really have to pull off some amazing crazy shit, just don't be needy or seeking her approval (you're doing this right now, read your post), be cool champ hang in there and believe in yourself, she already likes you, you don't have to do shit except get her alone and go for it

stop ''trying to read her'' just assume she is down to get the dick, turn her on and go for it


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