| DISCLAIMER: english isn't my native language, so sorry for the mistakes. I don't know if it's the right section, too.
Hi!!! I'm desperate as I think I'm screwed with a girl I care too much about. We knew each other at a party, she recently broke up with her boyfriend. We started to talk randomly, but considering her recent broke-up, and the fact I didn't like her, I behaved like a friend.
Months kept rolling, and we spent a lot of time together. It's August, and I am an AFC, so after seeing what I thought were IOIs I verbalized my interest. LJBF. She went on vacation, and I froze her up. When she came back, she said she needed to talk to me: the thing resulted in her asking me whether I wanted to be her friend or not. I said her "yes", then I froze her up for two weeks, and after I came back she started talking to me a lot and things went normally.
10/13, after hanging out, we started talking into my car. I said her I felt hurt because if she'd eventually find a boyfriend I would say farewell to her and her friends. She started crying, so I built up comfort and started holding her hands. I asked her to play a game: each of us would have told the other 3 things, 2 true and 1 false. The other one needed to guess which one was the false sentence. I started with 3 episodes (2 DHV), then it was her turn. It took a while but it's my turn again.
1st episode: after graduating, my gym teacher gave me her phone #, telling me we could see each other if I wanted to.
2nd episode: I made a bet with my friend - I needed to obtain the phone number of a cube dancer in order to win.
3rd episode: I'm going to kiss you.
She answered "The first!", I told her "Nope, you fell into my trick. They're all true."
I kissed her, but her lips were closed. She said she recently thought about the two of us. All of a sudden I said her "You're talking too much" and I kissed her a second time. Her lips were still closed. We started talking again, then we stopped. I asked her "Two out of three?" and she replied "If you want to". Third kiss, I tried to sneak my tongue in but nothing to do. Before she went home she said "I did that for you". I don't know why, but I said "I'll be waiting for you", and she replied "While you're waiting for me, please know other girls, too".
I froze her out for 3 days. She invited me at her place on 10/21. We cuddled. I kissed her neck, her cheek, her hair, and sucked on her lobe. She said "Thanks".
10/28 she invited me at her place, again. She refused physical proximity yet she gifted me a box of biscuits.
10/31 - Halloween. We were at a party with other friends. It was funny and all, and eventually I sat on a couch with my target. She told me I'm a masochist 'cause I'm getting hurt because she can't give me what I want. We cuddled in front of our friends. After a while she dwindled, telling me to stop, too. "I need some affection, but I'm sorry 'cause it's at your expenses".
Me: "Don't make it that hard, it's easier than it seems".
Target: "What should I do, then?"
Me: "Just close your eyes"
Target: "Ok".
I kissed her again, but she still had her lips closed. We started cuddling again. After a few minutes, she suddenly said "That's not how it's supposed to be". I replied "What are you talking about?", and she followed up with "You're a masochist, just like (a mutual friend's name)". "If I were masochist I would do this" and I kissed her again. We then hugged each other, I put my left hand on her leg and my right hand between her hair, and we cuddled for almost an hour. The other friends told us it was late and they needed to go.
11/04 she invited me at her place, again.
Then, 11/07, she said she needed to talk to me. She said I'm making movies out of nowhere, that she doesn't like my lifestyle, that I don't suit her ideals, and that she always told me we were friends but she was weak and let me think it was more. She said "You're my best friend", and I replied "Really? I'm sorry, I have too much friends and few time to see 'em all" in a C&F way.
She said "So, is this a farewell?" and started crying. I started crying too, and I hugged her. I whispered in her ear I started developed feelings for her (wrong thing to do, but I was really moody). I made another mistake by telling her I didn't want to be her "best friend" 'cause if she'd find a boyfriend, it'd make me feel uncomfortable. I also said "I'm staying close to you until that day. Then, it's farewell".
After going home I removed her and 16 mutual friends from my Facebook account. It's been a week, and we miss each other. There's a friend which is telling me everything about her, and I know she won't contact me 'cause she doesn't want to deceive me. She is really hurt because she thinks by removing her and her friends from Facebook I burnt all bridges and she won't ever see me again. I also know she checks my Facebook daily.
Should I freeze her out for a month, then come back out of nowhere as a different person, or is it better to burn the bridges?
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CHAT