So there's this HB8 i met at an event which was almost over and everyone was about to leave. i kind of got an instant crush on this girl, maybe due to our identical cultural background. Anyways, I got to chat her up for a few mins and demonstrated my high energy (maybe looked needy?) and mentioned some DHV related things upon the questioning of people at the event which seemed to have got her a little impressed. I managed to get her number in a short amount of time before exiting. However she appeared to be a major downer and low energy in her communication.

I did not message for until 2 days later, she was a downer in her communication again (she had mentioned her work sucks and she hates it, and I sense that is the reason behind it) and I was able to set a date with her for a day she suggested, however all this time, i have been trying to slide in a C&F unsuccessfully because she just doesn't seem to be upbeat enough. The date was a few days later so 2 days later, I tried a "what sort of trouble are you causing?" text to get something playful going and received no reply at all in return. I didn't text her anymore as it seemed like DLV.

Since the communication was so low, I called the night before the date and mentioned I was going to be busy with some friends and rescheduled the time to 1 hour later (just as a means to confirm the date, really). She confirmed and said that works.

Couple of hours before the date, she flaked via text saying she had a lot of work explaining in detail what she was tied with (don't know if i should believe her) and that she wanted to reschedule. I ignored and did not respond to her text. 15 mins before the time of the date, she called and i said i was just going to text her. she explained her situation, so I asked "when do you want to reschedule to?", she wasn't sure. said she'll let me know by text. Here, I felt another flake coming, so I just suggested a particular weekend day a few days ahead instead and she explained why that may not work due to a tentative plan. I was starting to feel pushy so we said our goodbyes. I hate flakes, man, they drive me crrazy. I really wanted to show this girl I was cool.

Now.. I really like this girl, I'm hoping her downer attitude is a temporary thing I can fix by once getting some C&F going. I want to get in to a playful zone with her but I am not sure if I am wrong to think it will be weird when I do it, because she is pretty low energy and "un-reactive". I know I am trying a bit too hard for this chick, I kind of have a crush on her and its an extremely rare occurrence for me to meet someone with the same cultural background as mine in this city who is also a "single female". its a bit of a high value thing for me, so I want to work a little harder to make it work, on this one. Here are my concerns:

1. Any advices on how to go about from here?
2. I just thought of a funny text related to the event I met her at. Is it DLV if I text her now? should I just leave it? I'm confused to as, if I should be focusing on building rapport which is seriously missing and is the root of the problem, or if ignoring her at this point will help.
3. I am thinking of using a "OMG you would not believe what happened to me last night" in the morning followed by a "oh, that text wasn't meant for you". Is that a good idea?
4. Critiques? Aside from the decision I need to take here, has everything I have done so far, fine?

I'm new to this thing but why would a fun and energetic guy like you want to date a negative low-energy downer?

I'm just really attracted to this chick, im hoping her low energy is a temporary thing that can be blocked off as soon as I get her in to a playful mode because she feels to feel down because of her work. I know I'm digging a bit too much here, but meeting a single girl who matches with me culturally and also looks exactly like the kind of girls I like is really pretty rare for me in this city. almost all the girls i have dated have not been from my cultural background, so I want to work a little harder on this one and try and get her on one date, and see if I can get her to feel great with some nice routines.

hope that answers the question

Makes sense. My advice then is to make sure her work never gets brought up in your conversations with her because that will change her mood and the conversation will go down hill.

Yeah and tease her, make her laugh - she's gotta have fun with you.

If I were you I'd wait a few days and text her again (or maybe call her - this way you would avoid her not responding) - first flirt with her a little and then ask her out again. But something tells me that "OMG you would not believe what happened to me last night" will seem too much like a try-hard. I think you should somehow gradually warm her up - assuming that she's in a bad mood initially.

It's definitely a good idea to relate to your first meeting - if it's something fun.

Good luck

thanks dorf and sundog

I'll think about how to gradually warm her up by call.

So far, I thought of using the joke related to our first meeting as a text after the weekend, since I know she is busy with some activities until then

any other advices anyone?