So I like to go out a lot. About 4 days each week to the clubs which is where I do most of my gaming. I haven't taken a girl home in awhile from this but I do have girls #'s that I talk to. I feel like If I'm going to be sleeping with any of these girls I'm going to have to go on dates. I just feel like dates are boring and they feel awkward. Or they can be expensive. I know you can do stuff that doesn't cost $ but I also don't have a lot of time. Has anyone been in a situation like this or can help with mine. Thanks (Kinda feel like I already know the answer to my problem but just need some help somewhere)

I agree. Some thoughts:

- Do whatever you can to enjoy time with a girl and not just think of it as work to get her to your place for the close. Genuinely enjoying the time will translate into confident, more fun behavior on your part (girls are great at feeling and mirroring other people's emotions), and keep you sane. Easier said than done, I know.

- Choose date activities you actually enjoy, so it's less apt to feel like work. I try not to think too hard about "what date will SHE like best", for this reason, and b/c I figure it seems more alpha to suggest things that I like to do (hiking etc.) rather than things I'd obviously not be doing if it weren't for her company. Plus they can be DHVs even if she expresses disinterest ("hey, I love the local rock climbing gym, do you ever go?")

- I try to keep dates cheap, not b/c money is actually an issue, but because I worry about looking 'beta' by spending a lot on her (being a schmuck / nice guy / DLVing). I try to make comments like "I'll get this, and you can get the next round or something", as a way of suggesting "money's not a big deal to me, but as it happens, I'm accustomed to women being willing to spend money to be with me." Girls are much more consensus- and herd- minded than guys, so if you convey a frame of 'most girls pay half, that's how it is for me or in this town', they'll tend to follow suit.

- Google the dicarlo ladder of escalation (for kino) or similar threads on this date. For me, a lot of the date awkward stems from wondering when/how to 'make my next movie' physically (a lame, cliche mindset I'm trying to overcome). So it helps to feel confident about your kino path. I try to anchor kino to good feelings and to qualifying moments - giving her a neck rub when she makes me laugh etc. - so that she associates it with good emotions, and gets the idea that kino is my reward to her - not hers to me. Flip the script.

Cool man thanks for the help!

btw I recently had another good experience with the 'rock climbing' line. I suggested it to a girl (no in person yet, just OKC messages), suspecting she wouldn't go for it...and the response I got was a very nice "omg I could never do that but it's cool you do" and the tone of her message was much flirter and more eager than the one before. I suspect it's not so much that indoor rock climbing screams 'omg muscly jock' (especially b/c every guy on dating sites claims to be very sporty) as the attitude of 'welcome to my world, here's how a girl might fit into it, and I have other belay partners if you won't be climbing with me.'

I should add that I didn't suggest it as a 1st date (it'd be a little weird as a dating site 1st date, since you literally put your life in the other person's hands) but made a vague 'down the line, I wonder if you etc.' comment. This also illustrates the "Future Pacing" principle (make the girl imagine having a serious relationship with you, but without seeming like a sure thing or obsessive/needy)