So I arranged another date with a chick after a heavy making up session a week ago.
Unfortunately, my heart is not listening to my mind and I'm falling for this hb 8.
I want to appear alpha and not needy... Advices ? I think she is a keeper for the short term, I don't want to lose her, but I don't want to appear needy.. advices please

Well, it's easier to say than to do but you just have to approach it like you could careless if it doesn't work out. Once you start worrying about messing up and losing her, you tend appear needy and seeking validation subconsciously and more than likely you will mess up because girls pick this up a mile away.

I have the same issue though and get oneitis very easily if I'm very attracted to a hb personality and physically and I have no options. That's the key is to not care and hopefully have options.

I guess for this date specifically, just try to relax, tell yourself if you fail there will be others and just try to have fun. Tease her and play with her if the opportunity is there and see if she's a fun girl and worth keeping.

She should be worried about losing you, not the other way around.

you don't want to lose her, but you don't want to be needy

that is a contradiction, if you are worried about losing her, you are needy by default,

go out get other options, game other girls, talk to new girls, try to take them out, still continue trying to see and progress with this girl, but you have to emotionally re-gain control of yourself, you are being sucked in to having a oneitis

you have to change your mindset from,

I need this girl, can't fuck this up, have to do the right things to get her to like me

into,

she already likes me, I have this in the bag, if she does something lame I might move on, but right now this looks good

basically, you are already needy, the way you are on the inside will always shine through, you have to actually control yourself and actually realize you are being needy and stop it, be wanty, not needy, want her but know that you can move on at any time if it is not working out, she is just a girl, you don't need her, there are plenty more out there, I suggest you create other options for yourself fast to help you distance yourself from her emotionally, before you get too emotionally invested in her and turn her off

GOOD LUCK

Second the above advice.

Here's one tactic I've started using, with success so far. Basically, setting up the next date while talking in person towards the end of the current date, rather than playing text/phone/email tag. It's far from a oneitis solver, but it helps.

My bouts of oneitis are often those stretches of time where I'm wondering if the girl will say yes when I ask her out again, and I'm trying to play it cool and not call too soon etc. (think the "Swingers" movie where Vaughn gives that advice and the other guy screws up). I can restrain myself, but it's harder to enjoy other things in your day when you're wondering how the next call will go.

Just last week I was in this position, and got an emotional boost when the girl texted me first, with a long semi-humorous message she'd obviously put a lot of thought into (one of those "she's into me, now it's mine to lose" moments.) It didn't matter that I was on a ski trip with another girl at the time - it was still the highlight of my day (ski trip girl is just as hot, but the relationship is already running its course). This was after my 3rd date with the texting girl.

Anyway: at the end of our 2nd date, on a Monday, I told her "hey, I've got to go, haven't worked out yet today and don't want to be up too late" (the truth if you count 'screwing another girl' as my workout). I detected mild disappointment in her reaction (good news), and followed it up with "...but Thursday this museum near us is open late, meet me there," to which she readily agreed.

This served three purposes;

1. Some false takeaway / push-pull. Giving her a moment to wonder if I'd just pulled the plug and was BSing to get rid of her (and a mild DHV by showing I'm a busy guy and rigorous about working out - which is true), then asking her out again on the spot. When the girl's off balance from just wondering if you are pulling the plug, I expect she's grateful when you then turn it back around, and less inclined to play hard to get.

2. Now I don't have to spend Tuesday or Wednesday wondering if she'll say yes when I ask her out again. (Plus Thursday was my only open evening for the next 2 weeks and I didn't want to cut it too close, lest she make other plans, or pretend to've done so to play hard to get.) This is not really a tactical benefit, it just helps avoid the aforementioned oneitis spells.

3. It's true the girl could say yes on the spot and still flake later, but I suspect girls are more likely to say yes in person (if you have appropriately confident tone and body language) - a text message is easy to ignore.

4. If you go for some kino after setting up the next date (like the infamous 'last minute kiss'), it feels more casual.

A downside of this approach is that SHE also doesn't get "2." above - time spent wondering whether you'll call. One way you might do it (and this is how I did the museum example), is to float the next date idea in person in a vague way - not an exact time etc. That way, you'll still get a read on her enthusiasm for seeing you again, but a follow up call/text/email for exact time/place will still be required (i.e. she'll be wondering if you'll really flake.) In my museum example, this worked well: I said I'd be sending her the time and directions, and when I did (only one day before), she was like "Awesome! See you there!" The enthusiasm suggested to me that she'd been looking forward to my confirmation text.