I went to the Bar for the First time and was determined to approach women. For some reason i couldn't do it. I was scared shitless to do it. I can talk to girls with no fear in my classes but for some reason and i was so nervous to do anything last night. I just got drunk and went home. IDK what to do. I want to approach girls but my approach anxiety got the best of me last night

If at first you don't succeed...

don't be too harsh on yourself! No need!

It happens. sometimes I have zero-sum-games (= no sets approached) but it is getting less and less.

Maybe some advice:
- prepare: think of an opener and a routine. Memorise it. If you are at a bar, you don't need to worry what to say. You are prepared.

- slap yourself two times in the face, and approach the first girl you see!

- start small [you: hey, how is this place like? HB: 'it is allright'....you: thanks!]

I know how you feel man and I can't say I have had much success yet myself but relax bro


I get real bad anxiety but am naturally a quick witted confident/cocky kid but when MY AA kicks in you'll never know

What helps is to really do some meditating, clear your mind before you even enter your set. Do a lot of deep breathing and then picture yourself as a celebrity. You know girls asking for autographs, parties.. how do you see yourself acting? Be that guy


If you can do that you will be in the frame. When you enter the bar talk to EVERYONE, look them in the eye. Be dominant.


This will ease you into a comfort zone in your environment. From there you will be able to easier approach sets confidently and effectively.

I would definitely second the meditation, that has helped me so much with everything, not just girls.

As for bars, I simply don't like them very much. If you're new, I would recommend doing day game – or at least that's what I'm doing. I may eventually get into the bar scene, but I see that as being a long way off.

The most important thing is not beat yourself up, just keep trying man.

Dissapointment is only a false thought about yourself, with no uses attached.
The thing that you have to remember is that there is nothing to lose, Your dignity, your self esteem? Nope, you aint losing those by approaching strangers, you're only gaining experience and confidence wich you soon, will find out for yourself.

When you go out to a club, get the best out of yourself, know what you are good at, and use this, do you look good, are you funny? Realise it and use it.


I'll tell you a little story about me that should boost your image.

I used to be isolated from the outer world, why? because my confidence level breached bellow 0, I would look in the mirror and say, god what do i look fucking stupid.
One day, I found this book from Neil Strauss, followed everything he said, but the most important lesson he thought me was confidence, make people see your confident, this lesson filtered out so many thoughts out of my head, that i just went clubbing, took the dancefloor with me, and got so succesful with the girls.
Hb's between 7 & 9 approaching me, even saying how cute i looked, loving me, and all that because i had the balls to do something you dont see every day.
Be a man, do what your best at, and let it go with the flow mate.

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