Want to go direct, But not gonna lie- scared as fuark!!!



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:16 am 
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I did go direct once before, and it was terrible. All 3 sets blew me out like I was the creepiest guy they'd ever met. I want to try it again cuz I'm bored with indirect- just not genuine enough for me i guess. Any tips to get over my fear?
Also, I have no idea how direct should be delivered. Tips on delivery?


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:25 am 
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Are you talking about direct for nightime stuff or for daytime stuff? Cuz it'll be different for both


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:16 am 
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Going direct is hit or miss. Accept that your gonna get blown out if you wanna do it.

For night game, I personally don't like direct because you can get girls that otherwise would not be attracted to you. Of course the down side is it takes me about 2 weeks to a month to sleep with a girl. Some even longer.

Also, another benefit of going indirect is can make friends with girls and bring them hang out with you at bars building social proof.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:59 pm 
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I was refering to daygame. It just feels creepy.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:06 pm 
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For night game, I personally don't like direct because you can get girls that otherwise would not be attracted to you. Of course the down side is it takes me about 2 weeks to a month to sleep with a girl. Some even longer.
^^^^^^^^^It does NOT usually take 2 weeks to a month to sleep with a girl. It CAN take that long, but that shouldn't be how long it takes most of the time.


Khrem, theres nothing creepy about going direct. I met a girl at CVS pharmacy last week by going direct. Our initial interaction was only about 3 minutes long and after 2 days of texting back and forth, she invited me over to her apartment, and you know how that went :)
Going direct is not creepy and it does not usually take 2 weeks to a month to get the girl into bed.

The delivery is kind of hard to explain without demonstrating it, but its not anything complicated. You're probably overthinking it. And its perfectly OK if you creeped girls out the 1st 3 times you went direct. It took awhile before I got comfortable with direct, you just have to keep doing it.

If I could give you one piece of advice about how to deliver it, it would be to make it sound more nonchalant. So, don't make it really serious. (There is a way to deliver it a little bit more seriously, but right now while you're still getting comfortable with it, it would probably easier for you to try to make it sound more nonchalant).

Don't make it into anything bigger than it is. You're just a confident, fun guy who saw a girl you thought was cute and maybe seemed interesting, so you decided to take a few minutes out of your day to stop and talk to her and see what happens. Thats more of the mentality you should have. Your mentality is NOT that shes so hot and you already like her so much. Your mentality is simply that you decided to stop and talk to her for a minute because you're a social person and she seemed cool.

And you HAVE to be OK with getting blown out. This is true for direct or indirect. You can't expect to do approaches and never get blown out or never ever creep girls out. It happens sometimes. I try to have the mentality a natural would have. I've seen naturals get blown out a lot, but the main difference between them and other guys is they don't let it affect them or their mood. If they get blown out, they don't think they got blown out because they're bad with women or anything like that, they just think they got blown out cuz sometimes there is stuff thats out of their control..

anyway, hopefully that makes sense...

do some approaches and record them with a voice recorder, or if your phone has a voice recorder built in, use that. If you post them on here it would be a lot easier to tell you if your delivery is off if I can hear the recording.



OOHHHH yeah, a really good point about delivery for going direct it to have PAUSES in the opener.
So, my opener will usually sound something like this:
ME: "Hey" *PAUSE* "This is super random, but..." *PAUSE* "You're adorable, so I wanted to come over here and talk to you"
(she'll usually be shocked, maybe even a little embarressed at this point)

The pauses don't have to be long, but I like to pause in those 2 places, because it creates a little bit of intrigue and eagerness to hear what you're about to say. If you deliver that opener straight through like a script it will usually come off weird.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:06 pm 
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Hey bro, I agree with Urkel..... Remember, your the fun guy! Dont take it seriously. Smile and have fun with the interaction.

I just started to hangout with a girl recently and she seems interested in me. But, she mentioned earlier that she was confused when i first approached her. Apparently i was to serious and blabering on like i was an auctioneer.

Good luck bro.

Remember, there are never fails, just opportunities to learn.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:51 pm 
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do some approaches and record them with a voice recorder, or if your phone has a voice recorder built in, use that. If you post them on here it would be a lot easier to tell you if your delivery is off if I can hear the recording.
Wow, I may actually do this. Except one of my speakers is broken, but that'll be something I could try.

Yeah, I went out today on my lunch break and did one set directly (took me like 20 minutes just to get myself together). I tried the pauses and the pacing and it felt more natural than last time. The girl wasn't interested but was definitely not creeped out, she thought about it for a sec (does this have any subtle meaning?) but then said "thank you, but no thanks." Then I went and drove my car into a pit of eternal darkness to drown my endless sorrow. jk. It actually felt pretty good, very exciting. My heart literally jumped when I said the word "cute". I feel kinda dorky for saying that but whatever, it was fun. I then wanted to do some more sets, but I had to leave for work. I'll definitely try it again tomorrow.


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 Post subject: Breaking the Ice direct
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:13 pm 
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I wrote a post called 'Breaking the Ice' about a scenario where I wanted to use direct game, but completely bottled it at the last minute. Totally chickened out. My direct game at night is okay because I rely on varying levels of alcohol intoxication to get the 'dutch' courage I need to approach. However it has already been pointed out by 0uch that they will probably be drunk too and when they meet up with you (if they ever do) they might not be attracted to you and you can really only ever score on the night with these girls. I DESPERATELY NEED TO IMPROVE MY DAY GAME. I also want advice on quick and non complicated NLP to really get them to fall for me. Advice on either topic is very welcome.

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 Post subject: Quick NLP
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:06 pm 
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According to David Deangelo, about 65% of women are feel-dominated and 65% of men are think-dominated. One easy way to improve your chances is to try to replace think with feel if a girl has not yet made a think/feel statement. If she has, go with the one she uses.

Another way to add some NLP is pay attention to what sense-dominated she is. Guys are almost always completely sight-dominant, while women usually are much more balanced b/w the five sense. If she makes statements like "I see what you're saying," use more images in your speech, if she says "I hear you," use more sounds, etc.

Another good way to connect language to speech is the old marketing trick: sex, violence and food. Marketers use these 3 to market products because they are the most emotionally-engaging.


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 Post subject: Re: Quick NLP
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:44 am 
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Another way to add some NLP is pay attention to what sense-dominated she is. Guys are almost always completely sight-dominant, while women usually are much more balanced b/w the five sense. If she makes statements like "I see what you're saying," use more images in your speech, if she says "I hear you," use more sounds, etc.
i m mostly K, with some A... my woman is K and V.... my bro is A and V... so i don't think this generalisation "Guys are almost always completely sight-dominant" is correct ... but i m European so maybe where you live is different... can you explain better please?

Mivear

PS in my experience sensorial channels vary from action to action


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 7:59 pm 
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i find I can only go direct if Im drunk. gotta work on that


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 1:26 am 
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the more your approach the more confortable and better you will get at it

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 1:18 am 
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I did go direct once before, and it was terrible. All 3 sets blew me out like I was the creepiest guy they'd ever met. I want to try it again cuz I'm bored with indirect- just not genuine enough for me i guess. Any tips to get over my fear?
Also, I have no idea how direct should be delivered. Tips on delivery?
My Step 1 to becoming a PUA (technically step 2 cuz the real Step 1 is Get out of Your house)

build a good foundation of skills. The first thing you want to do is learn how to open confidently. Sounds like you were nervous when doing your first few approaches which is perfectly normal

so one of the first things you want to learn is to let go of the outcome. i use to have the same problem as you. You dont need all the transition/ close/ how to get day 2's if you can't open properly.

So try this exercise:
Go up to 5 women and give them a compliment. Say what attracts you to them ( whatever you noticed) nice smile, a graceful walk, sexy ass, etc. and if you cant think of one use cute/attractive/ beautiful/gorgeous whatever you want

After you have given them the compliment feel free to continue the interaction if it goes on well, but if after you give the compliment you can eject from the set. The eject from the set gives you the pre-determined outcome. which will make you far less outcome dependent

the focus of this exercise is just to get you used to opening

some tools that will be helpful during this exercise

1. Pacing- i usually start off with a tap on the elbow and say "excuse me, Hi" and smile

2. Smile- makes you appear friendly

3. the preframe- set her up to receive the compliment "I know this might be random but," "i dont want to be weird or anything but" or sasha's " dont panic, this isnt a robbery"

4. transition- " i just had to say" and " i think your (insert compliment)"

if you do this soon you will realize that opening is easy and your fears very rarely ever come true. my absolute worst response from going direct was just to be completely ignored.

realize that there are no 100% close rates. if you go direct you will get rejected a few times. the real pro of using direct is that it saves you alot of time. you find out if you have a shot with the girl within the first 3-5 mins

one you get over the AA and nervousness it gives you, you can work on the transitions and closes. becoming a PUA doesnt happen over night, it takes a bit of work to internalize the beliefs

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 6:00 pm 
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You can go direct in the night and in the day.

The difference is, you can't go as hard on the direct in the day vs. Night. In day game I usually won't approach until we've made eye contact. After eye contact is made (NOT necessarily staring but not just a quick glance either) I'll smile, and work my way over, complimenting her smile, saying she looks like a friendly person, how inviting she looks, etc.

My advice for you, start out small. You don't need to necessarily GAME every girl you see, but every time I make eye contact with someone, whether they're fat and hideous or super model looking, I'll approach and just say something nice and strike up conversation. If you're like me your first priority isn't getting laid or picking up a girl, its just to make others feel good and to have a true interaction with a stranger, and if there is attraction, great, if there isn't but they're genuinely chill as hell, great because you've made a new friend who could have potential girls that would interest you. I'm always out looking for friends, and the easiest way to make friends via 'day game' is to grow balls and make a sincere compliment or just introducing yourself. Its ballsy and the girls will appreciate it.


Ex: I was downtown with a buddy of mine and he got opened by a girl. I left him alone and saw a girl sitting on a bench reading a holocaust book. (note that she was NOT a girl I'd sleep with up im open to being friends with whoever). She caught me staring at the cover of her book while walking by. We made eye contact, i smiled. I played it cool and said "Oh sorry I was just interested by the book you were reading, holocaust book right?" And we conversed, exchanged names, and today we're good friends.

If you want to go direct, starting off in day game with the intent of just to make a new friend instead of getting a # or getting laid is the way to go.


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