Hi, i'm 17 years old and i've never kissed a girl. I go to nightclubs and try to make-out with a girl there in a one night stand, but when I think in approaching someone, my mind goes blank. And I also have confidence issues. Can any of you guys teach me some openers that work on clubs? My main problems are opening and my voice shows right away that I'm shy.
I live in Portugal, so if there's any portuguese people here who know portuguese clubs, that would help a lot.

Your first option: Get drunk. Your shy attitude will totally dissapear.

Your second option: Even if you don't drink. Approach every single girl (Hot, ugly, skinny, fat, etc) in the club, even if you come off as a shy person.

Easier said than done? It is!

Impossible? Not at all


There is just so many way to approach girls in club, it's crazy! If you don't want to deal with rejection... I have one thing to tell you. Get rejected.

The more you'll get rejected, the less you'll care. For the first few nights you will be doing this. Just focus on approaching every single girl in the club. Even if they don't reject you. Eject the set and approach another set. Keep doing this all night long!

From personal experience, it took me 2 nights to get rid of AA in clubs. I basically opened 90 girls in those 2 nights!

How to approach them? It's up to you!

I need more information about that. Do you plan to approach them at the bar? On the dancefloor, outside?

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Dear Optimist, Pessimist & Realist,

Just to let you know that while you guys were arguing about the glass of water...... I drank it!

Sincerely, the Opportunist

Meanwhile why don't you also focus on approaching girls outside of clubs? I had the same problems as you did when I was your age too! Then I discovered that there was an oasis of women outside of clubs e.g. shop assistants, college girls, colleagues, on public transport (which is another topic on here at the moment).

People have this false idea that clubs are the only place to pick up women. Personally I find them too loud and crowded so I rarely go to them anyway. On a night out I've tended to do my approaches once everyone leaves. For some reason guys spend the whole night hitting on girls in the club but once the lights come on and it's time to leave it's as if the referee has blown the full-time whistle or something?! Once the clubs empty out girls seem to have their defences down and it's easier to just walk up and ask for a cigarette or directions to somewhere, opinion openers etc.

I'm sure there's lots of cool advice to approaching in night clubs but like I said there's a world of women outside of clubs too Good luck man!!

Your first option: Get drunk. Your shy attitude will totally dissapear.


if you use alcohol in order to approach women, it will not help with your confidence in the long run: what are you going to do when you see a HB when there's no alcohol nearby? in order to be be confident when you approach women, you need go out and approach women, practice is the best way to get better. it isnt easy, but it is the only way to become truly confident when talking and approaching a stranger. As for what yourself, just be yourself, be comfortable with who you are and she will feel much more relaxed when you're talking to her[/quote]

Thank you for the advices!
Matt I said clubs because I usually go to clubs but I'm shy in general. I once got drunk but the best I did was hugging random girls, without even starting a conversation. Where I come from, it isn't cheap to get drunk in a club.

wow, there is so much stuff on this topic all ready.

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I never said it was a good option, that's why I didn't take time to developp on it. But still, I think it can help some people get over their anxiety. I'm not saying you should get shifaced. but you could drink 3-4 beers just to care less about some stuff...


Let me tell you what I think about the term "confidence". First of all, confidence is such a sketchy term since there's nothing really uniform about it. There are many types of confidence (Situational VS core). I do think that most of the confidence comes from personal experiences... It's sad, but true. I'm not sure anyone would have a high level of confidence if he got denied by 200 womens in a row... Unless he already banged 300. You see what I mean? Your confidence level will vary depending on your success.

That's basically the point of drinking... You'll get to approach more girls when you drink, and slowly improve your confidence level even if you don't drink because you know you already did it and it worked! Would you be more confident if you F-closed a model? Even if you we're drunk...? Of course! You'd be more confident even when you don't drink because you know what you already did.

Anyways, I think your main problem is approach anxiety. I could talk more about the subject if you want me too. Oh, sorry if this reply isnt 100% clear... I'm tired and english is not my native language!

Cya!

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Dear Optimist, Pessimist & Realist,

Just to let you know that while you guys were arguing about the glass of water...... I drank it!

Sincerely, the Opportunist

First time I kissed a girl was like a little... a year ago, when i was 17 too.
Just be confident and show that you are happy, it works.
Otherwise, if you are really really desperate, you might want to find a club full of AFCs and grind behind a girl.
Do this 3 times and u scored (cause the girls are used to the fail approaches, my first time went like this too in fact hha)

Other than that, I can only recommend starting with opening random sets.
Not even with the intention of making out, or #close, just for the sake of opening.
I did this 2-3 times, and ur AA will dissapear.
After this u can work on other parts.

To archieve something u might ahve to step out of ur comfort zone, but ye, its probably worth it in the end.

Also, do it WITHOUT alcohol ye, as said before.
Otherwise u'll be helpless when there is no alcohol near.