| Last time I talked about how to approach and start a conversation. Realistically, most of you probably still just went out and got pissed and didn’t talk to any girls. Some would have tried a couple of the techniques and got some results. This time, we’re going to focus on how to have a great conversation. This is an easy one to practice because unless you live in a hut in the jungle you are probably going to have some conversations over the next few weeks. Most guys are so awful at having conversations with women that they have just met that if you can get this down, you’ll have an edge over 99% of the male population because you know about pua
Women are sick of boring conversations in mid-game with men. They have had the same ones over and over and over. “What’s your name?” “Where are you from?” “What do you do?” “Do you have any pets?” “Do you like films?” “Can I have your number?” is not the magic sequence of seduction, it can’t work because she’s heard it hundreds or thousands of times before. Which brings us to the don’ts of good conversation (and what to do instead):
-Don’t ask her a series of questions in a row. Leave a pause for her to have a chance to ask you back, or make a statement about her response. The perfect structure is that you find out something about her, make a statement about that, and then ask a deeper question.
-Don’t ask the same old questions in the same old order in the same old way. Introduce yourself “I’m Richard by the way” instead of asking her name, say “Are you Swedish?” If you think she might be, it’s better to guess than ask. “How do you spend your time?” gives her the opportunity to talk about work OR things she actually enjoys and would be interested in talking about.
-Don’t ask a question when you don’t care about the answer. “Do you have any pets?” “Yes I have a dog” “Oh….cool…” I’ve studied loads of conversations between girls and guys who have just met and the dreaded moment of running out of things to say always happens when the guy asks a question and doesn’t care about the answer. He umms and ermms and looks around and fidgets. He looks nervous and uncomfortable and unconfident, she gets bored and leaves.
-Don’t state the obvious. If a girl has pretty eyes, she has probably been told that five hundred times. Find something more specific to her, preferably not about her appearance. Or don’t compliment her at all. It’s fine to give an obvious compliment with feeling when you’re already together, but in the early stages it’s not what she wants.
-Don’t be too serious. Make assumptions and funny guesses. Instead of asking what she is doing, say, “Okay, so you’re waiting to meet Steve, he is a guy you chatted up on the internet and you’ve no idea what he looks like, but he is going to be wearing a red shirt.” She’ll laugh, and then tell you what she is actually doing – or even better, she’ll play along with it and you’ll have a fun moment.
-Don’t be negative. The Australians, although annoying, have a point. It’s very easy for us “whinging poms” to make a connection with someone about how crap things are – the recession, the weather, the lousy nightclub, rude people. Yeah great, but would you be in a rush to to that again? Try and be positive, if you can view something positively do it. Try to raise her mood and next time she is feeling low she’ll think of you.
-Don’t ask if she has a boyfriend. If you must say something, say “Are you single?” Much better though is to see how she responds, if she is up for it, you have the answer you need, if she isn’t it doesn’t matter.
-Don’t stay on the surface level stuff too long. You need to get down to more interesting stuff. The best things to talk about are things connected to: emotions – how things make her feel, motivations – why she does what she does, character traits – what kind of person she is.
-Don’t fake it. Do you like cats, sushi, and Harry Potter just like her? No you don’t but you said you did, don’t lie! There is no need to pretend that you are exactly the same. She wants a man to be different, she has enough friends to watch Sex & The City with. It’s fine to genuinely disagree, yet most men don’t do it. Do it and you come across as honest and she’s more likely to believe everything else you say.
-Don’t let her make all the decisions. “Would you like a drink?” “Want to dance?” “Where shall we go next?” Take the lead, it’s what she wants – “I’m thirsty, lets get some drinks”, “I like this song, lets dance”, “It’s noisy here lets go and sit down over there”.
-Don’t focus on yourself. The most boring thing possible is to listen to the stories of someone we have just met and haven’t decided if we like yet. Sure, some people are just born story-tellers, but they are few and far between. Brad Pitt could say whatever he wants and the women will still be staring and drooling. For the rest of us, it’s good to remember that people are much more interested in hearing about themselves. Keep the conversation focused on her, who she is, what she likes, and subjects close to her. When she’s interested, she’ll start to ask you questions about yourself and she’ll be ready to listen and be interested.
That should take care of your conversation skills, go out and practice them. Next time, we’ll lead on very nicely. You’ll be in the conversation and it’ll be time to move in for the kill. Artful rejection-proof seduction is next time. Happy gaming! _________________ Before you change your thinking, you have to change what goes into your mind.
Email Me: Pukk101@yahoo.co.uk
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