Hey guys, I haven't totally introduced myself before but I already know a lot about this whole community and such, I just have never joined up until a couple of days ago.




Anyway, I still have this stupid approach issue in broad daylight so for now I leave that alone, but I have no problems getting a girl to dance with me in bars at night or talking to a couple. About a week ago I must have danced with 25+ girls in a matter of a couple of hours. Now you guys must be thinking, what the hell? This isn't about dancing, its about getting out there and talking to girls. Well dancing with girls is my way of getting rid of this subconscious thought that I, ME, have to prove myself to the girl. Of course we all know thats the beta AFC way of thinking you know.

Well last night I went again, but this time I had a goal to go and find a girl , dance with her for a little, and then ask her to step off the floor and practice my game. However last night the guy to girl ratio at the club/bar was....5:1, it was pathetic to say the least. BUT, the girls that were there were extremely bitchy/protective. I don't know WHAT it was but I only got to dance with about 5 compared to last week, and I got rejected by a lot more because they had their goddamn cockblock female friends with them. I would ask them for a dance or something, shed start to think about it for a little, and then another friend came and would say "shes good". Well, anyway, the whole night was a BIG disappointment to say the least. The wingman I met on this website didn't show up like he was supposed to, so I was stuck with my AFC friends. Although, one of them is good with girls but thats completely because of his looks.

Basically, I'm just curious, I noticed something last week that I didn't notice yesterday. It was this thing with girls not showing me any signs of interest unless of course I was just too stupid to notice. I mean last week I had girls making out with me for no reason (well I guess they were drunk). But I don't like drunk girls as well as any of you guys on here shouldn't. Well I need some words of encouragement, because I still have this beta way of thinking that if I get rejected then there's something wrong with ME and not the other way around. I would also maybe like some advice about trying to get a girl thats dancing to stop dancing and walk off and have a conversation with me. Anyway, I'll see you guys around. I'll probably go out tonight again and see how it goes.

-Nick

One thing that stood out to me was your train of thought. Dancing
with girls first as a way of building attraction and ridding yourself of
your insecurities... as a matter of speaking.

The way I see it is, even if you have success doing it this way, you
are limiting your brain's capacity to act out situations. Your mind is
going to start processing meeting women this way. [Dance with girl.
pull girl from floor. talk to girl. etc] It will become a one trick pony.

What are you going to do when you meet a girl on the street? You
are not going to start dancing with her, then pull her into a coffee
shop are you? Maybe, but probably not.

If anything, get out on the dance floor and just dance, without the
objective being to meet/dance with a girl. Then, get off the dance
floor and open some sets. The adrenaline rush you get from dancing
will make it easier to approach and hopefully relieve you of your
tendency to seek.

Now, if a girl initiates and starts dancing with you first, then fine.
Don't try to talk her up on the dance floor. Just act as if you are
in your own world. Turn away from her at times and/or just dance
with your eyes closed like it's a form of meditation.

I would suggest also, that while you are on the dance floor, you use
all non-verbal communication. Experiment with getting a girl to stop
dancing at the same time as you and follow you to the bar to get
some water. It's amazing how you can create an unconscious action
using non-verbal communication.

Man, you are absolutely right.

Ill try to do that subconscious thing of pulling her away by not actually saying anything.

I just need some advice for the dance floor though, how should i go about asking a girl to dance. I know a friend of mine just comes up to them and doesn't even ask, I mean that's what I used to do also. But it seems like its intrusive and most girls don't really like that.

Is there a proper way to this?

Well, I personally don't suggest using the dance floor as a way to
approach women...nor would I suggest "asking" a girl to do anything.
Just do it.

If anything, you open a set away from the dance floor. Then, once
you've built attraction and created some comfort with your target,
you say, "Hey, let's go dance a little" or "Hey, I love this song! I'm
hitting the dance floor if you wanna join".

hea nick where are you from? if in the middle tn area let me know we got a crew coming togeather in nashville. its method (me), jsmooth, heat, and skill. we are all 20 to 25 and just getting started so just scouting for other people.

method