| Heres one i did, probably should've closed it the right way but I always forget to make the close.
anyway, I went to american eagle to find some good fitting jeans., walked in and if you know this store you know they are discriminatory against ugly. so i walk around a little bit, making sure that people notice me(i worked in retail, i know how this game works) and then b lined it for the jeans rack. I sat there with the lost male clothing shopper look on my face and with the demeanor until a girl came over(i wouldn't pay attention to the guys), she was an hb7.5 in my book and well this is how it went down.
her: can i help you with anything?
*turn and give a shit eating grin*
me: yeeeeaah actually you can(the way i typed it seems to like assholeish but not how it sounded, more of a friendly greeting). I need some jeans*hands come open, palms face up, arms bent at elbows and sit about chest high*
her: well what style do you like?
me:*looks down and then back at her and smirks* do i seem like the type of guy to have a style?
*she laughs*
me:so what are my options?
her: what size do you wear?*i give her my size* well we have boot cut low rise, loose fit, etc etc etc(i tuned out after low rise boot cut which is actually what i prefer and no im not gay)
me:but all youre jeans look boot cut, isn't that what gay guys wear? do i look gay? seriously, did you hear any rumors about me?
her:*giggling* no, boot cut isn't gay, a lot of guys wear it. i think it looks hot.
me: alright....then what are the cool kids wearing?
her: i dont know, what are you wearing?(i actually almost choked at this point)
me: screw it, ill try these but you dont have them in my size.
her: well....we have some out back but we're not supposed to sell them yet, i gueeessss i could hook you up
me: thata girl, make sure they have a slight faded look(totally SPAM i have some idea of what i look good in)
*she leaves then comes back and by this time i have 2 hb's helping me but im not gaming them, just killing time, cracking jokes on how they look like zombies*
her: whats so funny? you guys aren't picking on me are you?
me: no, i wouldn't do that, now these 2....maybe, seriously though, have you ever watched your customers? they look like something from a george romero movie
*i do my best impression of a zombie, obviously they laugh*
me: so, fitting room, i'm a busy man and as much as i like being in good company, we all have things to do
*i try them on and one doesnt fit right and yell her name from the dressing room, she hurries over*
me: you lied to me! you said i'd look great in these! come in here and tell me what you think.
her: i can't legally do that
me: i wont tell anyone....except maybe a few friends(then i open the door)
*she giggles again and gives me a slap*
me: well, saleslady, fetch me the next size up!
*she does her thing it fits great*
me: so whos going to check me out aside from you who already has since i walked in here*blank stare* im kidddiiing, sheesh, tough crowd. well it was good doing business with you but i have a date.
i pay, i leave, end of story, the checkout girl that handled me was a probably the most annoying creature alive.
critique if you wish
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