Warm Approaches vs. Cold Approaches



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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 2:36 am 
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Let me start off by saying I've made shitloads more progress once I stopped focusing on routines and methods and started working on my natural game. Congruence is easier to achieve when you feel you're being genuine.

This progress finally showed last week, when I pulled three kiss closes and two number closes (for some reason the first # close girl even approached ME and asked ME for my #... never happened before!!!).

Still, these were all warm approaches (except for the fool's mate)... I was already in a social situation with the relevant girl (party, conference, group of people, etc.). In those situations, I feel nowhere near as much AA as I do in public places. At social gatherings, it's somewhat expected of you to talk to people you don't know.

No one has that expectation on the street, in grocery stores, or at the mall. And for some reason, I think that's what's fueling my AA in public.

Before I got back with my ex (I was single from August to November last year, broke up in March) I was fresh to pick up and all up in "Rules of the Game." I was doing the assignments by the letter, even doing cold approaches. I felt on top of the motherfucking world.

Now, after breaking up with my ex again, I feel more confident in myself and my abilities than ever before... but I don't have that same "I'm the fucking MAN" feeling. I find myself freezing up when about to do a cold approach.

Example: Was at the frozen foods section today in the grocery store... cute Asian girl in a summer dress is standing on the other side of the aisle from me... I start to approach her, but then I get inside my own head... what do I say? How should I stand? Etc. etc. So I literally turn and walk away. I was fucking disgusted with myself.

I thought I was past AA for the most part, but clearly I'm not... and I know all about the mentalities/mantras I should get myself into. I'm the prize, nothing to lose, rejection means nothing, and so on. I've studied mindsets to death this weekend.

Tips appreciated, fellas.

-Baron

P.S.:
And if anyone has any concrete exercises I can actually physically/verbally DO to get over my stupid AA, I'd be much obliged.

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D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.


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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 3:24 pm 
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3 second rule. Any longer and you'll start coming up with crazy ideas about what's probably not true.

I did something that was quite interesting lately. I would see a girl, and stop. And think about what I thought about her, then went up and talked to her briefly. It was about pick up or anything, just something that I read from 60 years of challenge.

I realized that about 80% of the time I had a preconception of her, I was most likely either off or wrong.

If you're thinking about too much about yourself, then you need to just stop thinking.

You know what you could do? 3 second rule. Doesn't matter what your opener is. Just go up and say anything you absolutely want(of course this doesn't go up to her and tell her you'd like to have her children eg.). I mean just say anything. Tell her something you like(for example: I love ice cream or something), then shift gears. At least you opened, and now you can follow through. Even if it's the crappiest dumbest opening line in the world, at least now you're not procrastinating.


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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 4:46 pm 
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Quote:
3 second rule. Any longer and you'll start coming up with crazy ideas about what's probably not true.

I did something that was quite interesting lately. I would see a girl, and stop. And think about what I thought about her, then went up and talked to her briefly. It was about pick up or anything, just something that I read from 60 years of challenge.

I realized that about 80% of the time I had a preconception of her, I was most likely either off or wrong.

If you're thinking about too much about yourself, then you need to just stop thinking.

You know what you could do? 3 second rule. Doesn't matter what your opener is. Just go up and say anything you absolutely want(of course this doesn't go up to her and tell her you'd like to have her children eg.). I mean just say anything. Tell her something you like(for example: I love ice cream or something), then shift gears. At least you opened, and now you can follow through. Even if it's the crappiest dumbest opening line in the world, at least now you're not procrastinating.
God damnit, you're right. 3 second rule. Whenever I busted through those preconceptions I always found them to be wrong, too.

_________________
D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.


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