I went to a nightclub and talked to three sets, which was exactly the goal I set to myself. Now I have questions.
First, let me tell you about my experience. I was rejected by a woman I was approaching about two years ago, and I found out about PUA. My professional life back then was at its turning point, so I decided to wait for two years and vowed to myself that I will start pickup when my life settled. This summer I moved to a new place and have been reading books and watching videos on PUA, preparing for the first move.
This month, I had a couple of attempts but got chickened out from approach anxiety. The first night, I realized that I don't have anything to say after my opener and decided not to go. The second time, it was raining and I told myself that I didn't feel like it. But I was sick about myself, and tonight I managed to go to a club and make three approaches as I promised to myself. I looked at a lot of materials on how to overcome approach anxiety, but one thing that helped me a lot was RSD Max's "talking to a girl is already a victory. everything that happens afterward is a bonus" mindset. So, of course I didn't get laid or anything, but I just feel proud of myself.
Now, I am aware that I made many mistakes. The first and biggest mistake I made is walking around the club without talking to anyone. I was overwhelmed by the fact that most sets have dudes. (This was the first time for me to go to a club and I was alone.) In my mental image, I practiced opening a girl-only 2-set, but it hardly existed. So I tripped out and couldn't make my move. I went to the restroom and then walked around. Then I ordered soda at the counter (which was also a mistake, I shouldn't have any drink in my hands). And then as I left the counter, I was like wtf and opened the first set, which was the only female 2-set in the club and also the hottest girls in the club. (Another mistake: I should open adjacent sets before opening the hottest girls.) They were having bitter smiles, didn't say anything, and I left after my opener. Then I opened a seated 3-set with two dudes, then I realized that my voice is very soft and they cannot hear me. Again, opener and left. Then I felt like at least having one long conversation with someone, and talked to a dude who seemed like alone at the bar. He completely ignored me. After talking to a bartender, I left.
Here are my questions.
1. My voice is qualitatively very soft and can easily get swamped by the surrounding noise. I was yelling when I talked to the second set, but still they had a hard time hearing me. Plus, some people give up listening to me, making me look ignored. Does anyone have the same problem? How do you overcome it?
2. Do you use the same opener to a set with guys or even a guy-only set? I felt like it would help so much if I can befriend guy-only sets first, in order to pump up my emotions and get a degree of social proof. What do you do when there are mostly sets with guys?
3. The first set was very non-responsive. How long do you keep talking to these sets? What signs do you see to leave or stay with the set?
4. My eyes naturally look weak. In a day time (not a day game or anything) I feel non-negligible difference in people's attitudes if I wear sunglasses. What do you think about wearing sunglasses in clubs/bars? If anyone has the same problem, what do you do? (In old videos of Lovedrop/Matador/Mystery, they wear sunglasses when giving lectures but they didn't in an infield video I found.)
5. I base my materials on MM, so my openers are indirect. I am thinking of starting a day game with direct openers like RSD Max. I just thought that indirect ones may be "easier" in the sense that the probability of acceptance is maximized, but given my voice problem, I may find the clubs/bars a challenging environment for me. If anyone has tried both games (indirect at night / direct at day time), I'd like your opinion on their difference.
I especially want your input on my first question. Again, it is not about whether I speak out. I was yelling but my voice just doesn't stand out in a noisy environment. It has always been a problem that makes me look shy because I can't talk to distant people.
Thanks a lot.