Hey there,
I'm clearly old enough to know better (28 years of age) but still never scored even once. I would mostly attribute this to my shy, introverted personality and the inability to spot what little chances I could have with the fairer sex. The 'interesting' thing - at least from a psychological angle - is that my approach anxiety seems to apply to ALL girls regardless of their looks ... so much for trying my luck on 'plain' chicks first to acquire some courage and finally target the more appealing crowd [just to be clear: objectively, I can distinguish between girls from 1-10, subjectively, however, I have been attracted to everything from a 3 upwards].

Has anyone amongst you struggled with a similar affliction of the 'self-despisosis' and found a way to conquer it?

Somehow connected to that last question: I'm well aware that puas with real game won't succeed less due to their looks / weight because they simply project self-confidence women instantly pick up on. But when I was leaner (I'm not morbidly obese or anything, simply am a few pounds too heavy) I noticed interested looks from women despite my continuing self-loathing. So, if some basic 'requirements' are met lookswise, could this - at least temporarily - overshadow the hollow within? What's your stance on that?

Now to the case at hand: a few months ago, I met up with a pal at a café and noticed a cute waitress. Yesterday, while waiting for a long trip to start I went there again. I tried to make a somewhat witty comment on the menu that didn't seem to strike a chord with her. I wanted to follow it up by throwing in a remark on a neck tattoo but wussed out due to the lukewarm response to my 'opener' (which didn't really qualify as one) and would like you to rate it - now I know that naturals can score with just about anything they say, but I don't (ever?) see myself in that position.

So, I wanted to ask her: "Has anyone ever told you (stereotypical set-up to one of the lamest lines ever devised) ... that you have a tattoo on your neck?"
I'm planning for this to come as a pleasant surprise since she'd be expecting something along the lines of "... that you look like a model". But being knee-deep in self-doubt I'm unable to tell whether this specific line would sound rather cheesy. Or whether I should accompany it with a sly grin (to make it clear that I'm not a moron; as opposed to the deadpan humor I use in everyday life).

I suppose she'd say she knows, then I'd ask whether she's got a fascinating story to tell about it and subtly connect her to a biker gang or anything like that.



Your input would be greatly appreciated.
Have a great holiday!

The reason the menu comment didn't go over is because it's an arena you aren't used to playing in. It's never about what you say but how you say it. If you asked a guy who has never seen a basketball to suit up for an NBA game he would get torched in the game because he has never put in any time working at the sport.

Same thing here.

The only way you are going to feel a level of comfort around women, no matter how you rate them, is to start. You will fall on your face and fuck up a bit, and then you will get better. Some never take the first step. Maybe they end up settling with someone and they spend the rest of their lives wondering "what if".

The tattoo line is fine but again it ALL comes down to delivery; if said in a sexy way and not with the customer sitting down in the booth but at eye level, I could see it getting a cute laugh etc; but of course every chode who comes into the restaurant is 'opening' her about the tatoo.

@oceanx:
Thanks for the comment.
When you say in a sexy way, I suppose you're referring to voice tone, body language and eye-contact, right? Not only do I feel out of my depth when trying to apply this, I also think of it as being 'inappropriate', on the nose and intrusive. Is that just a misconception of mine of is there something to it?

I've been told a couple of times that whatever degree of nervousness or anxiety I may feel, it doesn't show through my body language, i.e. no shaky hands, trembling voice or blushing whatsoever. Could this be considered a slight 'advantage' or do most women still detect 'the wuss within'?

Let me ask you one more dumb question: should I even try my hand at using these lines in that particular case or practice on other ladies first so that I may come back to this one 'stronger' or at least a tad more certain of myself?

Yes that is what I am referring to.
You don't want to apply it this way from the start. I used that example as an optimal way to get the girl digging the interaction. At first you just want to get used to speaking with women.
By 'sexy' I am referring to 'smooth' not corny/gamey/vulgar/lame. Having a smooth voice tonality, solid eye contact (not staring) and decent body language are just the things that one needs to possess if one wants success in this game.

But there certainly is a sexual undercurrent to the interaction otherwise it's not genuine.

I will repeat for emphasis: If there is not a sexual undercurrent to the tone of your conversations with women who you wish to sleep with, you are not being genuine and are doing both you and the woman a massive dis-service.

If your objective is to have sex with a girl, your subcommunication will completely throw her off if it is all 'we're besties'/friendly and lacking the proper intent. She will instantly sense and be creeped out to the hilt by this mixed signal shitstorm if you so much as lay a hand on her shoulder. You want to be congruent with your goal in a classy way not in a sleazy way and the girl will appreciate this because she knows how to classify you (not in the friendzone but as a possible sexual partner if she is interested).

To feel that it's inappropriate to communicate your intentions both nonverbally and verbally is totally understandable since as you have stated you are not in the game at this point in time. However if you continue to feel this way, the girl will too, 100% guaranteed, because women mirror us. Meanwhile, smooth cats are spilling anything that comes to mind with a sexy smooth vibe and making peach juice drip down the legs of girls all day, every day, all over the world.

Obviously a guy doesn't start out smoother than baby shit, but he works toward that point with his end-goal in mind, fitting his style within the bounds of who he really is at the core.
I take a good % of #s from the girls I approach; but I still show outward nervousness at times (which causes the girl to not have her red flags go up that the guy is 'too smooth and must do this all the time'). Point being it matters less the little details of what happens and more that you are actually taking action toward the goals you have set for yourself.
Not a dumb question at all. If you approach 50 women between now and January 31 by just talking to them like they are a human being, I promise the tattoo girl will be the last thing on your mind. And if you were to decide to go back to her for whatever reason, you would be running game that is light years beyond what you could even conceive at the present moment.

Introverted dudes as you have described yourself as have some of the most success w/ this because they are sensitive to analyzing their situations and how to emulate behaviors until the behaviors become a fit with their personalities. The best part is their lives improve a million-fold and they bring excitement to & light up the lives of the girls they attract.

Have fun in the field bro. Most guys have too much pride to so much as acknowledge that they would like to improve certain areas of their life such as their success with women. Good on u for getting there.

So what kind of tattoo does she have?? It's really interesting for me. Girls get tattoos on visible parts of body because they want too show everybody their character..I saw a lot of women with neck tattoos and they're very strong independent and some sort of selfish. Tattoos on neck are VERY painful. Does she have some animal, geometry or maybe flower? If it's flower I can say that she's probably want to show her sexuality...

http://flowertattooideas.com/rose-tatto ... der-girls/

Did you have something good with her??