| I am putting this post in Advanced because this is for guys who already have social skills and a degree of success with women. I have posted many times that in order to attract women, you must have self-esteem, a good First Impression, and know how to be social. Please refer to my previous post, Dating Skills for Real men, if you have questions on my general process. That being said, I still believe that the subject of self-esteem still gets glossed over too often but that’s a complex topic and one that takes more time to explain than I could do in one post.
So, let’s say you are that guy who has been getting dates. You know how to, as Orion from DYD so aptly put it: “makes girls smile.” I would further say “make EVERYONE smile” and you will be successful socially. This is good. However, as you see this “social matrix” more clearly, there are guys who aren’t trying as hard but attracting more women. They have more choices and women appear to be chasing them. There’s something subtle going on. Seduction.
Seduce. Seduction. This conjures up images of pencil-thin moustaches, smoking jackets and cigarette holders. Seduction is a term that is not politically correct but you will find that politicians like Bill Clinton, like him or not, were masters as seducing an audience with his charisma. Nay-sayers will content that they never HAVE to “seduce” a woman to attract her. However, some guys don’t even know that they may be seducing a woman with techniques that are intrinsic to their personality or lifestyle.
Let’s take a look at some of the things the SOCIAL GUY does to create attraction:
1. Needs to “get into state” to pump himself up to approach and interact
2. Thinks he needs to approach women ASAP or else will lose out to other guys
3. Thinks it’s HIS job to make sure EVERYONE is having fun.
4. Over-thinks social habits, like: “To drink or not to drink?”
5. Needs wingmen, pivots, pawns, logistics to make a pickup successful
6. Rolls with a large crew to create the illusion of a “big party”
7. Will work the room so he has created a vibe with as many people as possible
8. Uses opinion openers when he couldn’t care less about the real answers
9. Kinos women BEFORE he attracts them—too early, too often too many.
10. Joins a social circle or activity JUST to meet women—salsa, yoga, spinning, etc.
The guys who do these things will make friends, will get laid, get girlfriends, or even married, if they choose. So what’s wrong with that kind of success, you ask? Nothing. I know successful guys who have been using this style for years and have yielded very respectable results. Then there are other guys, like myself, who don’t want to work that hard to gain attraction. When I see a mixed set, I may not feel like approaching them. Why the fuck do I want to get stuck talking to a group of guys and girls, “win them over”, when I can just seduce the women and make them come to me?
Here are some of the methods of seduction other guys and I have used:
1. Live dangerously. Have a hobby or lifestyle that emanates danger. Example: military, law enforcement, moto-cross, pilot, bouncer, fighting sports, etc
2. Have a muscular build that exhibits masculinity
3. Confident, deep voice and relaxed body language
4. Artistic and creative lifestyle: poet, musician, artist, writer, actor, builder/developer
5. Dress/groom yourself seductively through a keen fashion sense, grooming style
6. Social proof in venues that you hang out: restaurants, bars, gym, stores, neighbors
7. Be a non-conformist: opinions on politics, religion, sex, family, career
8. Wealthy lifestyle—demonstrates ambition and success. Don’t confuse this with “buying” women. This lifestyle is for YOU.
9. Project the image of a great lover. Be seductive in how you talk to, move, dance and touch women.
10. Have high standards and qualify women. Make them come to you. Challenge them. Banter with them. Be prepared to walk away.
11. Show a side of vulnerability AFTER you have shown your confident/masculine side.
12. Most importantly: have control over your emotions. Never let the behavior of others dictate your emotions.
One thing I wanted to clarify is something I said about kino earlier in this post. I was actually going to dedicate a whole separate post about this but I don’t know if I’ll ever have time to do that. Kinoing women is important, especially when you are learning to be social. However, when you become more of a seducer, you will find it beneficial to kino AFTER you gain attraction. One technique I like to do is to kino her “sexual attractors”. Her sexual attractors are things women do to themselves to sexually attract men. Like expose her shoulders with a certain kind of dress, have her nails and feet manicured specially, expose midriff, etc. A BIG mistake would be to neg any of these sexual attractors. What I like to do is early in the conversation, make a slow EC to her sexual attractors, then look back into her eyes, and then kino her sexual attractors. If you do this AFTER you already have attraction, it doesn’t come across needy or weird. It shows you know and appreciate her sexuality. This will lead to many ONS if you do it cool and relaxed but with a degree of sensuality.
To summarize: The key is to being a great seducer of women is to be unpredictable and non-conformist. Being social is to want to conform in a fun way. I think a good timeline to be good at this game is this:
Newb --> Social Guy --> Seducer
You accomplish this by doing this:
Self-Esteem --> Social Skills --> Seduction Skills
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BRENT AKA "HOLLYWOOD"
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CHAT