I found this site, speeddatedotcom, and decided to join to practice some conversation skills and techniques and gain knowledge that may be useful in real life. Instead of replying women ads in a wussy manner, like saying, "you have wonderful eyes", I followed David DeAngelo advice, opening with a cocky funny comment. I said :

"I was looking at the pictures of all these desperate girls, and when I saw yours I thought -Hey, here it is a desperate girl that actually is cute- : ) "

she replied:

"Desparate is that one who searches, LIKE YOU... Where does it say I am LOOKING FOR SOMETHING??... DON'T CONFUSE THINGS."

I have some ideas to reply, just wanted to know how would you follow up after giving her such a neg right from the beginning, what would you say?

By the way she is 32.

LOL HAHAHAHAH

man, 90% of all internet chat is misinterpreted because you cant show emotions and facial expressions.

MOVE ON LOL.

fuck, if someone told me i was desperate, i would flip them off too LOL

There are three things wrong with your opener. ALL of which she tries to explain to you within her reply.

1. I'm not sure where this conversation took place but if I had to guess I'd say myspace or something similar. Unless she says so on her page (rare) then she's right in saying that she never stated she was looking for something/someone so she can't be labeled as desperate. This kind of opener really only works on sites such as E-harmony, or true.com etc. becuase just the fact that they made a profile on such a site could classify them as desperate. (HOWEVER, I still wouldn't use this even on there. Explained in point #3).

2. If you're going to throw the "desperate" title out, better be prepared to have it thrown back in your face since its apparent that you were the one doing the searching and messaging random girls. As you can tell she jumped on this oppurtunity to use your own words against you.

3. As Hyphy politely pointed out, calling someone desperate is NOT a neg. That's a rather bland insult that can and will immediately put someone on the defensive. A neg is meant to cause her to QUALIFY herself... not defend herself.


You have the right idea with a push/pull kind of cocky funny opener. But lighten up a little on the neg.



As far as the follow up, I'd say to take your money and run on this one. You're already in the hole and are now in damage repair mode. If you're intent on this one, though, you're going to have try some frame control. You need to change subjects since she obviously rejected the one you proposed. But since you've started out as cocky/funny don't lose that that frame now. Here's something that just came to mind. Made me laugh so I had to post.

"I think we're both confused. You thought I was a desperate and I thought you were cute"

Not sure if that's a step in the right direction, though. She'd have to have a great sense of humor.

Good luck with this one.

_________________
"If you keep doing what you've been doing, then you'll keep getting what you've always gotten" -anonymous