Hi, I have a question about approaching girls in clubs. How do you dance with girls who are with maybe 1 or 2 other girls in a club? This is assuming you don't have a wingman.

Just dance like you don't care. Don't dance right beside them but near enough to them. Most guys on the dance floor don't look like they're enjoying themselves and if they do they're generally intimidating and "Broish". Just dance like an idiot but look like you're having fun. Keep doing that for a few minutes and women will gravitate towards you.

Once they start giving you IOIs(Looking in your direction, proximity, shuffling around and moving their heads to steal glances in your direction) keep dancing and having fun. After a few minutes deliberately catch one of them out and force an IOI like pointing at her and winking. She'll get closer then just start dancing with her. Escalating on the dance floor is slowing down the tempo and making it sexual while you're physically dancing up against her.

I do that but 9/10 times they just ignore me or wander off...or is that just normal? haha

What Game SN said...

However, you're probably doing it wrong since they wander off.

The key is to be in your own world and don't even look around. Guys when they dance look around and dance like a little penguin shouting "OOO, OOO, Look at me! Look at me!" seeking validation for what they're doing.

You have to not come across as that.

My advice is close your eyes listening going with the flow of the music or look at the floor or celing...never at the crowd directly. You can but peripheral is what you want from the corner of your eyes.

Girls will see you're the only guy having a good time instead of thinking about hitting on them...this will gravitate them towards you then you can open with "Hey which one of you're a better dancer?" "Hey could you wing me?"

You get the idea...the possibly is endless but you have to attract on dance-floor...NOT other way around of approach and attract

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Master Your Social Skills to be the Cool Guy and Get the Girls...

I do this exactly when I'm at a club and always end up dancing with a few women. The real trick is to look like you don't give a fuck who dances with you. Women will validate themselves to you. When they start gravitating look at one right in the eyes, reach out your hand, and give her a twirl. It's random, it's unique and you can move to grinding shortly thereafter.

Twirling almost never works.

I've seen some people try to do this and come across as absolute retards. I've tried it myself too with a sure thing and it backfired completely. A lot of women aren't comfortable doing that unless they're so fucked they don't know what they're doing. Instead of the twirl I would just get up close to them.

Honestly, i've seen and had it happen where there's no need for a twirl pretty much all of the time. A twirl is a needless risk in my opinion. Women will just back up into you and start pushing themselves against you as if you stimulate grinding. It's always awkward because they don't really acknowledge you before hand. At least my perception of it has always been of women trying to look bigger on front of their friends by making the first move on a guy on the dance floor, not necessarily for their own personal interest.

I guess it's all in how you come off to the girl. When I've twirled in the past, they always talk about how awesome and different (blah blah) I am after the bar closes. But it's all in your style. If you dance like you don't care and wait for the girls to gravitate towards you, you're already in. I've just always had limited success by walking up and grinding with a random chick.

Might depend where you are. American women? They generally seem to be more up for a laugh than Western European women or European women in general. I think we're just a bit too serious this side of the pond. Never seen a girl react well to a twirl even with GBF's.

Yep. I'm in America

Don't think about approaching girls in nightclub...not at first anyway.

Do your own thing on the dance-floor. Guys are always afraid of the dance-floor, but it's actually my favorite. Requires no verbal skills, so for those who are not brushed up on their conversation skills can do this. Dance in your own little world to the music. Don't look around like you're looking for attention because of your dancing because this will be counterproductive to what you're doing in the first place dancing to attract. You don't have to be the best dancers, in fact if you're a little goofy in your dance, it can be more of an advantage conveying the message you're a fun guy, and girls will gravitate towards you instead of the other douches doing the lame pathetic ass-grind. When they're in your proximity, then that signals they want you to approach...and you're already attracted so now approach.

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Master Your Social Skills to be the Cool Guy and Get the Girls...

The most common problem in clubs and parties, which is the reason most guys don't really manage to dance with lots of girls, is because they try to find those girls. As said before, dance like you don't give a fuck. With friends, alone (usually drinking helps since you really have fun then) and just have a good time, and NOT look like you're trying to get a girl, like most guys. Also, don't look too stupid, that can just divert the girls away from you.
The key to getting a girl is eye contact, at least in my opinion. When you happen to be looking at a girl you like, and she stares back at you and doesn't move her eyes away, you should make a move and dance with her (grab her hand, move close, Etc.)
That's basically it. You can grind and after a while hook up, or pull her aside later to grab a drink.

I want to chime in here. Areas where I place an * asterisk is where I need feedback and thoughts. About me, I'm a guy in m 30s and I've become saddened lately because I felt the ability to attract younger ladies slipping away... so I'm doing something about that.

During grad school I did not club AT ALL. I went like 3 times ... with my girlfriend (there were like 3 during med school and another one during law school). So, I lost out completely on fucking and sucking wildly during my 20s and I'm here to take what I lost in my 20s!

So, roughly 2 months ago the campaign began - watched Nataly Vital on Youtube, the pickup videos with the Indian kid, Korean kid, and the white kid (Simple Pickup?), and a few other videos and channels: very inspiring and amazing intel on what to do, what to say, and just getting over the coochie anxiety I had. A lot of my learning is/was trial and error and a lot of what I call "gathering intel." So, I started going to clubs specifically in the dance areas (not the bars per se) and just sort of looking around and studying what was going on.

I learned a few phenomena (this is what I call dance floor intel):

1) Girls around 12 AM start to get drunk - and as the club gets closer to closing, there's a greater and greater willingness of girls to let you dance with them, they become more approachable and more likely to approach and you can escalate and kiss them, etc, more readily. OK, so this is alcohol related.

2) Girls in larger groups are NOT approached with frequency. Two - three sets ARE approached but larger groups are intimidating to guys, in general.

3) I was deeply confused by seeing girls with guys one moment then she's alone then there's a guy.. I was like WTF. It turns out guys approach and dance for a minute or hang with or lean in and talk to, etc, all the time - and there's no real way to know who is with who. Very difficult. Also, girls with BFs will often dance with other GFs so it's hard to tell who the fuck is available and open... and who is not. So, this is confusing but point 3 then is a girl may or may not be with a guy ... you just don't know. She could, or she may not be.

4) Girls who reject guys who try to grind on them may or may not reject a guy a minute later... so she has to be somehow attracted to a guy in some way, shape, or form. OK, this is my basic intel and my principles of getting coochie in a dance arena.

5) Peacocking is a REAL Phenomena - girls will approach you happily, smiley, etc, if you have something intriguing.
For me, it's a fedora (think Boardwalk Empire). My best advice is: look like a pretty cool and well dressed guy. IN general, do not look like most guys around you. In most places like college towns (not downtowns where people get dolled up) guys wear jeans, sneakers or loafers, and untucked buttoned shirts. This is MOST guys: don't be most guys. Wear a little wrist bling, neck bling, maybe a ring - and my favorite is a fedora. This past weekend, *** three girls grabbed my fedora and wore it for a few moments - *** what should I have done?? Each weekend there's at least 3 opportunities to talk to girls and approach/dance when they do this. What's the best way?? Girl grabs hat, then ... what? I kinda just smile - but it MUST lead to more so I need to figure out how to escalate that. How about this?? Now, don't laugh - but go to amazon and look up BUBBLE GUN - I have a few of them. I've used it and it works! You just shoot it - and the girls start going nuts but then I don't know how to escalate with one of them... I shoot the gun, bubbles come out, then what?? So, what if I wait until a girl grabs my hat, then I pull out the bubble gun and start shooting towards her and THEN lean in to dance with her??! ***

6) Guys in groups will OFTEN lean over to their single female friends and tell them about you. The girl will snap her head back to look at you. THIS happened to me this past weekend several times. Don't be surprised - this is normal. Have something funny ready in case the words which were whispered were, "cute guy behind you." In my case, I was so fearful the words were, "OMG Amanda gross old dude behind you!" So I was a bit like a deer in headlights when this happened... but it happened like 3 times.

Now, the reason I'm posting this is because the guys who commented above were invaluable in insisting that you must appear to not give a shit while dancing - which I agree with so I'm posting this to provide some info and advice to these same people so we're helping each other. If you look around trying to make TOO MUCH eye contact, etc, it will be more difficult to get close to a girl - in general - but it CAN work, esp if you're very good looking but in general yes look like you don't give a shit: look downward, at the DJ, rock back and forth, do a little twirl, grab your fedora, look like you're having fun without creepishly looking around. Once you're seen doing this for a few moments, your creepiness has subsided and you will then be so much more approachable: for me I WAS APPROACHED by girls this past weekend which was astounding! (More below.)

TIP: If there's a multi set and there's a guy as part of that set, lean in and high five the guy while you're dancing; there's no fear of rejection or anything with that (shoot bubble gun at the whole set??)***. By doing that, you've achieved a form of a social parity as a member of the group! It's the easiest thing to do to get 'in' to a group. It makes you almost part of the group: you can also tap the girls on the head, or no touching and just wave at them in a friendly way or blow a kiss or side ass tap as you move around. It's a funny affirmation of the male's presence - and it puts you on the radar for them and it has eliminated the wall that was there a second ago because now, strangely, you're less of a stranger! (Drunk guys want to grab my bubble gun - two girls have tried stealing it, so do not lend that thing out!!!)

Let me tell you about some of my earlier experiences - and bear in mind I am not anywhere near where I need to be but notice my progress here.

Two months ago, I went to a place and there were maybe 7 or 8 girls dancing in a circle. I was enamoured by a few of them. Didn't know what was happening. This is common at clubs - this can be a birthday party or a bachelorette party. If you see a girl in a tiara, this is a free pass to dance with her. But, it doesn't mean you get to grind on her and go for the coochie: usually, it means you can dance with her and wish her happy... whatever and then maybe do something funny or pull another girl in or shoot the bubble gun?? Now, this is interesting because we're all interested in escalating with one of them - not necessarily become mister happy funny guy, right? *** So what's the best approach here?? *** Dance with the main girl and then try to kick game at the others??

So, anyway, this girl in that group - she approaches me. Now, I had no skills whatsoever so as she approached me at first I thought she was going to walk past me but then she came up to me and leaned in and tapped me on the chest grabbed at my arm and kinda just retreated. *** So what should I have doe and what did that mean? Well, I thought I was still on the street and a person was tapping on my chest. I said to her, "Can I help you?" which is hilarious - yes - but remember, no skills here and was just learning. Now, I know better. Girl comes up to you, taps you, *** what do you do?? *** You dance with her! Even if she's retreating: you lean in , "hey what's up what's your name girlfriend you're so gorgeous!" You do a little cute Latin hip thing - you grab her right hand place it on your left shoulder just over your heart and hold it with your palm face down towards your chest and you rotate counterclockwise and then she's got her arm around you. Then, dance, escalate, grind, etc. I know better now - but I've been at this for 8 weekends only so bear with me.

OK, fast forward to this weekend. I had a marvelous weekend by my standards. Went in WITHOUT my vest which was getting me lots of attention previously; and just wore a light purple shirt and my magical fedora. Did I mention that my fedora has been such a help??

So, I JUST got there - like 10 minutes and I was totally in "scope and gather intel" mode. I find that when you're at a venue too long your value diminishes. So, go to a venue, hang out, dance for a few then get out - go to another venue. I scope, see where the birthday/bachelorette groups are, dance around them, leave, come back later. If the same girls are there, you already have a familiarity with them. Anyway, so I see a super sexy girl with a perfect hip to waist ratio ready to pop out some babies for me. She's with a guy and a girl. I don't know if this is her BF - don't know don't care. She's dancing sexy - she sees me at some point; I play retarded don't lean towards her but I'm at her 8 o'clock and I can see from my periphery that she's looking at me.

So, I'm dancing looking not at her but I glanced towards her a bit and her friends are dancing, she's dancing, the guy is dancing, I'm dancing ever so slightly - not like a raver, but like a guy just rock-stepping, a little bit of hand action like you're driving a car with some shoulder movement - not crazy because then you're not approachable. The guy leans into the girl. Don't know what the fuck he said - she looks at me I glance over she gets closer to me. My lack of skills still but growing confidence interpreted her as possibly getting in closer to me - so I didn't back away, I didn't ask her, "can I help you?" but instead I leaned into her a bit, smelled her shampoo, looked straight down and saw her sweet rear just rocking, but I didn't go in for the kill. I placed my hand on her right shoulder ever-so-gently and ran it down her arm to her fingers and did a gentle pinch/clasp of her fingers and then kept a slight distance. *** What should I have done?? *** I feel like I was just not ready! I just got there was scoping and was approached so quickly. Ack argh I wish I even leaned in and said something... didn't say shit to her!!! OK, did that for a couple minutes, she drifted towards her two friends, drifted back towards me for a sec, had a second light round of barely touching - my pelvis barely made contact with her ass and it was like a magical heaven. But, I was completely shy about her two friends FUCKING STARING AT US kinda smiling the girl was nodding ike she was egging me on but little did she know I wanted privacy; I had such a signifciant performance anxiety!!

OK, minutes later, I had a lollipop. A girl comes up to me and with her fingers goes for my lollipop *** what should I have done??!! *** I leaned back and pulled the lollipop out. I looked at my lollipop and then looked at her kinda weirded out... Here's what I decided I should have done. I should have let her take it - and then I should have leaned in and fucking danced with her. So, my skills are improving in that I'm getting some interest, but I need to seal the deal - I need to just interpret what's happening immediately and close it. I was at a mall - I am there now - and two cute YOUNG girls come up to me and one of them asks, "Excuse me, do you work here?" I looked at myself to see if I was wearing a name badge or to see why she would think I worked there and then looked up and said, "uh no." But, *** what should I have said?? I should have said, "hell yeah I work here!"

Gotta wrap this up...

Listen man all u gotta do is crank up some fucking club music get a mirror and practice moving your arms and shaking your hips to the music. Be patient itll take u a month to get down pretty good if u practice for like 20 min a day but its worth it trust me bro. I use to be the worst dancer ever. My arms were as stiff as Hugh Hephners dick on a friday night. But i kept practicing and now Im the next white michel jackson. And trust bro once you learn gow to dance youll find your style my style is very femenine like a bitchy white chick trying to shake her ass to a katey perry song. So dispite all the bs i said here put on some fucking trap music or club music and have fun with that shit.

This is the best shit I ever seen on dance-game: http://naughtynomadforum.com/forum/show ... 063&page=6

Twirls work for me though, I agree though, they are not always necessary but have their place. If you do some complex twirly thing in front of her friend's, they go nuts and instantly become cheer leaders for you both to hook up. Not to mention IOI's from other girls/social proof. If her friend's are happy to leave you both alone together it is a massive SNL IOI.

2 sets are the hardest though, but that is more due to the fact that my wing will try talking to her which kinda bores his girl & implodes the set.

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