Shy guy needs help with flirting



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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 1:43 am 
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I just got a new job, and I really like one of my coworkers, and it's pretty obvious she likes me but I just do not know how to escalate it from here. When I'm around her I just get so nervous I can't think well.

I'm 20 and I've only had one girlfriend my entire life, about 4 years ago. Even though I've read a lot of tips from this website and a few ebooks, I can't put what I'm learning into practice because I can't get past the basics like flirting.

This coworker, she goes out of her way to come to where I'm working and talk to me, and she always finds me to say goodbye before she leaves.

I need help with flirting, really really bad. This new guy that started working with me is really good and I'm worried about him going for her too. I was talking to her about music and he butts into the conversation saying to her "Oh you like Creed? I thought only sad and lonely people like that band?"

He's older than me, taller, and is obviously better at talking to girls. If you can help me with this, like really help, I will pay you, this means so much to me and I do not know where to start.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 2:24 am 
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did u see what he did? he teased her. You should tease her too but in a more sexual way. More like "what do u do when you are not thinking me banging you against your headboard?" (LOL i joke never actually say that to her but you get the idea). Btw this guy is an average chump; who butts into convos? If it was me i would actually start a conversation with her instead of butting in. First of all you can tell this guy has shit conversational skills and low confidence (he cant start a convo and he needs to butt into a convo to get any attention from her); hes not a threat. Practice cold approach like a fucking retard to get past this anxiety; use this girl as motivation. Remember you will most likely lose this girl unless she likes the way you look (not what i would want).

Simply, flirting is teasing; people make it extremely complicated.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 5:02 am 
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It's just I suck at teasing though, I don't think of it when I should be. All my good lines come after the conversation is over because of how nervous I am. I have a step sister who considers me the funniest person she knows but thats only because my personality isn't shut out from me being so damn nervous.

I'm going to suck at thinking on my feet until I get used to it, I need some kind of "universal" tips or lines I could use until I get going. It's a small city also, every guy your age is a threat. Sucks.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 10:44 am 
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Hi Juzt1n,

In my opinion, you don't need to know how to flirt as she's obviously want you to close the deal!!!

Flirting is only for girls who are not that interested on you yet; not fot girl like your co-worker.

Just ask her out to a cafe or restaurant near your place..go into meaningful, personal conversation with her, give her a plausible deniability to your place, such as show her a book

escalate on her at your place to .....

Stop being nervous, dude. She already like you so much. And since you have a pretty good competitor now, you should move faster with your co-worker.

Good luck!

Carpe diam,
Naughty Napoleon

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 3:59 pm 
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Location: Metro Detroit
Quote:
Hi Juzt1n,

In my opinion, you don't need to know how to flirt as she's obviously want you to close the deal!!!

Flirting is only for girls who are not that interested on you yet; not fot girl like your co-worker.

Just ask her out to a cafe or restaurant near your place..go into meaningful, personal conversation with her, give her a plausible deniability to your place, such as show her a book

escalate on her at your place to .....

Stop being nervous, dude. She already like you so much. And since you have a pretty good competitor now, you should move faster with your co-worker.

Good luck!

Carpe diam,
Naughty Napoleon
I agree, right now you have Attraction.

Next you need to isolate and build Comfort.

Later on you will need to tease her a bit to keep Attraction, but that is not the next thing you need to do.

Get her number, ask her to hang out, if she flakes it is no big deal. Good luck.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 1:38 am 
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if you don't know how to tease you have to understand its a skill. Luckily i had this part of the game down and im really good at it mainly because i have 2 sisters who i tease and make fun of all day so i can't really tell you how to do it. All i can say is practice will help with teasing. You could also look at the push-pull posts (its a type of teasing).


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2014 7:51 am 
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Okay guys, so bare with me, I'm -really bad- at, well, basically everything that has to do with women.

This last week I put a lot of extra effort into flirting, because I just didn't feel the same vibe from her that you guys say she has. Now, I really feel like I have her attracted, I normally wouldn't be able to say something like this with complete confidence, but now I can. I have her attracted to me. It's boosted my confidence so much, but I'm feeling like I can't go through with this all the way.

I'm having a lot of trouble even holding a conversation with her because I can't get her into talking about herself. I really do want to know more about her, but I want to be able to do this without the whole "interview" thing. For example I was thinking, Okay, girls like movies, and I got this idea in my head it would be a good topic to talk about The Grey, and then say 'What if this happened to you, and instead of liam nelson in the plant with you, it was a bunch of PETA animal rights activists?' I ask her "Have you seen The Grey" "No" And then I'm like, shit.. Uhhh.. "Well you should, it's a good movie"

I'm doing amazing with the small banter and flirting while at work now. But once she wants to go and take her break with me I'm having a lot of trouble from my lack of experience at this.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2014 7:58 am 
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Quote:

I agree, right now you have Attraction.

Next you need to isolate and build Comfort.

Later on you will need to tease her a bit to keep Attraction, but that is not the next thing you need to do.

Get her number, ask her to hang out, if she flakes it is no big deal. Good luck.
I'm new to this and worked a bit extra to really be confident in myself that I had it. Now I really am ready to move on, any tips would be amazing. Everyday at work she goes to our manager and asks special permission to get me on break with her. She's also given me her number, but I haven't done anything with it yet.

I know I could get her out on a date if I asked, I just really don't know what to do here though.
It makes me remember my high school days and all the horrible dates I had where I decided I would just "wing it, go with the flow" and.. And now I use those stories at parties, because it really is hilarious, but I would rather not have these things happen again.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 2:06 am 
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Quote:
Quote:

I agree, right now you have Attraction.

Next you need to isolate and build Comfort.

Later on you will need to tease her a bit to keep Attraction, but that is not the next thing you need to do.

Get her number, ask her to hang out, if she flakes it is no big deal. Good luck.
I'm new to this and worked a bit extra to really be confident in myself that I had it. Now I really am ready to move on, any tips would be amazing. Everyday at work she goes to our manager and asks special permission to get me on break with her. She's also given me her number, but I haven't done anything with it yet.

I know I could get her out on a date if I asked, I just really don't know what to do here though.
It makes me remember my high school days and all the horrible dates I had where I decided I would just "wing it, go with the flow" and.. And now I use those stories at parties, because it really is hilarious, but I would rather not have these things happen again.
A few things.

The longer you wait, the more 'friend zone' she views you.

Good places? I have a lot of ideas I do. The concepts I use are simple. One system is to go on an exciting date to replace conversation as a way to express Value. So go to places you are known or to do things you are good at. When I started this would be to my Boxing Gym or Venues I would frequent often.

When I got better it did not matter. I went to places I enjoyed that would just be a backdrop for Game. These places would be Coffee Shops, Places to Eat, or stuff I needed to do.

I would advice taking the easy road.

The key is, always plan to do something amazing to ensure she comes out, and if you end up doing something lame it is okay. As long as you Game well.

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