Here's the deal,
I'll admit it. I'm not that great of a conversationalist.

I realized that each stranger I see, pass by, or meet has a life as vivid and complex as mine and that there is actually a lot to talk about. I believe there are simply two aspects of having a good conversation; being interested in someone and what they have to say, and expressing yourself in the best way possible. I don't fully understand why I struggle but I think it's because I'm not very good at the second aspect; expressing myself. It's probably hard for people to figure out who I am. Or, now that I think about it, vice versa. I might be doing a great job at talking, making her laugh etc, but if that's the case, I find that I become a worse listener which isn't good.

But with all that being said, I have some thoughts and questions. For a stranger, the opener, I'm now beginning to think, should be something genuine and flattering and accompanied by a light smile." Such as: Hey I saw you and just had to come meet you. I'm ___." Or, you could try and tap into her emotions a bit more by saying, "Hey, too many times, I just decide to keep walking by, but you, I just had to come say hi. I'm ___. That is of course the individual is alone and you can't think of a way to involve the environment. Such as: "Hey, I bet you I have better moves than that street performer." Haha idk, but I really do think that the easiest way to start talking to a girl is if you can comment or question on something interesting around you. That may not always be easy or possible in some cases. Thoughts?

In any case, after meeting a stranger, I think you just need to try and take the conversation ANYWHERE and let it flow. - for me, easier said than done. But what about when saying hey to an acquaintance?

For many, you just say hi and move on. But for the ones that you want, what's the best way to go about communicating. In other words, after saying hi, what should the next words out of my mouth have to do with. Where I go wrong is when I say, "So what are you up to/How you been? etc" The answer I'm given usually isn't interesting enough for me to elaborate or ask a question about. When they say, "what about you?", I'm stumped. My answer is usually as bland as theirs.

I feel as though there this a methodology behind small talk. My question is when starting a conversation with someone you know how should you build up conversation? With acquaintances, I don't need to talk for long; just long enough to the point where we both feel we got something out of the interaction and the person doesn't leave feeling bored.

Instead of the mundane, "Hey? What are you up to? Same here.. Alright see you later", how do I have a good conversation with someone I know?

Girls you know are wary easier than girls you don't know, here's why.

Every conversation with a girl has one end goal, find something that you both have in common and build rapport off of this until you can cash it in for a # or invite to your place. With strangers you're going to have to throw out a couple hooks and listen carefully to find something that she likes and you know/specialize in/ like yourself. With friends this isn't the case. For example, there was this one high school friend who I wanted to smash over break. She's tatted up and I just got my first tattoo, so when I called her up I asked for remedies to help the healing process and then mentioned I was going to a concert where a band she likes is playing. I presented myself as someone who likes what she likes, and can help her do those things more. I also subtly let her know that I have some of the features (tattoos) that she's interested in a guy. In a way, I was bragging without seeming like I was bragging.

That's what you do with friends.

Hi Jdubin,

You don't have to be a conversationalist of even talkative to pick up girls, most of times they'll do the work for you. Girls love to talk and will do so when they feel comfortable. The only thing you really need to do is to open and give them a conversation starter. Women will generally give you hints about the way they want the conversation to go. For example:

PUA: Hi
Girl: Hello
PUA: So you're shoes are awfully red. Did you want to become a firefighter when you were little?
Girl: *Reaction*
PUA: Than what did you want to become?
Girl: I wanted to be a vet, but my mom didn't think that's a good idea.
PUa: Why did your mom think that?

Just be honestly interested in her. In conversations things like "Uh-hun" are also really strong. See how you're talking to your mates and how the conversations go. This will apply to most women as well, only they talk more.

As for the friend/stranger thing, friends are just strangers that got to know you better. You had to approach them too. Keep your mind on the price and just walk up to women, it'll get easier over time.

Found this tip somewhere:
Take a week off. Don't approach people. Just observe them. From there, think of lines that you can open. Not some canned memorized line, improv it based on your observations. Develop that cold-read skill and apply it the week you get back out

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