Hows it going gents! I moved from LA to Buenos Aires 8 months ago with my gf. ( i know, im an idiot) needless to say we went through a bad break up. Well, bad for me. She kicked me to the curve after a year long relationship. It was an amazing relationship with great sex ( for the both of us).

The final month we were together, she started to see a therapist ( apparently it was because she was having second thoughts about the relatioship). To me thats when she was transformed completly. Something changed about her. After a month, i confronted her about it. I ask her why she has turned so cold. Then she hit me with the bomb shell, saying that she no longer felt the same for me as she had before. She also told not to even try to get her back, that theres no hope for me. So i move out, no friends or family to go to. I tried to keep it cool with her since she was the only person i trusted out here. We will exchange messages almost as if nothing happened. 3 weeks after the break up she stops all contact with me. I wait about a week for her to respond to an important message. So i gave her a wtf message. She tells me she can no longer message me much because she now has a boy friend. This tore me up inside. Made me feel insignificante.

Now ive been living in Buenos Aires on my own for 4 months. She has already gone on vaction with this new guy, and they also have moved in together. Made me realize she was a quick one, since we dated for about 8 months until i moved in with her. I still have very strong feelings for her,. This is my question: how do you guys feel about giving a girl an ultimatum? I ask because since ive been on my own i have grown to love this country. I want to live here forever. But i feel as if im here for all the wrong reasons. A part of me needs to go home and live life but i want her to give me an excuse to stay. I basically want her to choose between me and him. I guess its just a closure thing. I know its not going to go well, but, is it better for me to hear it from her face to face and forget about her -or- should i not even acknowledge she exists and move back to Los Angeles? Sorry for the sob story guys but i need someone to slap some sense into me

Ultimatums don't work. She's obviously moved on, and so should you. About whether you should return home or not, it has nothing to do with her and all to do with you. Do you see yourself living happily in Argentina for at least the next few years? Can you make a decent living, advance your career (if this is a priority), make a new social circle? Have a long talk with yourself and remember that a girl that broke up with you and is now seeing another guy is no reason to move to another gym, let along another country. If you return home, at least you will have some interesting stories to tell... Think about your well being, and forget about closure. A new boyfriend she lives with is closure enough...

Thanks brother. I really do see myself living here but there are things i need to take care of back home in order to make this move permanent. I feel like your right though, thanks for the help and reading my post. Ill hit that reset button and takenthis as a learning experience

Hey mate. That's a shit situation I've seen a similar one 1st hand buddy of mine's mom went to therapy then decided she needed more out of life and to do things for herself so she just abandoned her family and moved to china. I can tell you right now do not give her an ultimatum its tough, but just walk away anymore contact with her is just pouring salt into the wound. What I'm gonna reccomend its gonna sound kinda dumb, but if you haven't already seen it watch the movie yes man with Jim Carey. That is the best example of getting over a break up and oneitis plus its funny as hell. For some reason that movie really hit me and motivated me to go out and do crazy fun shit. Kinda strange, but you know what they say you find inspiration in strange places.

Anyway hope that helps good luck!!

Thanks gunfighter, i have never seen that movie but will now definitely check it out. I could use a little inspiration. I now realize an ultimatum is bad juju. Today i did a lot of thinking and i have come to realize how much of an idiot i have been. Im proud of myself for making this move and trying something new, and also for surviving in a foreign country with nothing. Especially after getting kicked to the curb. I have been doing PUA things since ive been on my own without even knowing it. Forced to go out and meet people. Make friends that i now have and love. Thanks again fellas. You have no i dea how much your words have effected me......

Dunno if Im too late, its been a month since the post, but I'll give you my no-bullshit opinion and maybe, with the month gone by, you might find it useful.

First off, giving her an ultimatum is going to be as helpful as having a third nipple. She wont even feel bad about it. Thats just the way it is. New guy, new experience, new life. No time for you in her agenda, and you should be the same with her. No provocations, no shitty FB status, no sad pictures, no weakness. Im not going to tell you to "move on", because thats as easy to do as growing the fore-mentioned third nipple. You just need a new environment.

So my first advice? Grow a social group. How? Simple. Look for american hang outs in BA, join some sort of association, befriend coworkers and go out. Ive lived in 8 cities in the past 7 years due to work/studies/relationships and this is CRUCIAL. Trust me.

On a side note, make sure you befriend women, opens up the night life like crazy. If you REALLY want to stick it back to her for the pure sweetness of revenge, go out to the club. Go up to girls and say: "Hey, can I ask you a favor? I just broke up with my gf and I want to piss her off. Can we take a picture?" Say this with a smile in a playful way, not like you're going to kidnap your ex and make her stare at this pictures whilst you touch yourself. Make it FLIRTY. Most will say yes! Then, you can open up, have a convo, get her FB to send her the pics, etc. Then post the pics on FB, your ex will see them and get pissed. Simple and useful. Game on!

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