I've recently been experimenting with eye contact. Most advice I've seen seems to be to hold intense eye contact throughout the interaction. While this is great advice on the face of it, I've found more success by ultising this eye contact later on in the interaction, almost like an eye contact escalation.

Here's how it goes, this generally applies to indirect openers.

To start with you walk over and make initial eye contact with everyone in the set. While you're doing this you are delivering the first part of your opener. This may be something like "hey guys, I can't stay for too long because we're moving on soon, but let me ask you something...."

At this point, you pause and look away from the set. You phisically turn your head away from them and maybe even twist your body too. You find something to look at, maybe directly behind you or at least 90 degrees from them and just stare at it for about 3-5 seconds. This will feel like an unaturally long time. This builds their curiosity while avoiding coming across needy and shows then that they may not be the most interesting thing there to you. Then you continue your opener as usual.

This should help the opener land and then from that point on you can start to hold eye contact with them and later begin to use the triangle of eyes and lips to ramp up the attraction.

I've found that doing this makes sets open up more easily, and seems to be a sure fire way to start building attraction straight off.

I'd love to hear other people's views on this so please offer them up!

Cheers

Synergy

Off course! But intensive like what..?

Don't look at her too much, she'll feel "weird" brother. You can focus on eye contact but don't forget the rest. Too much eye contact is... VERY weird haha

You're absolutely right too much eye contact is weird...

...at the start of the interaction.

However, once you're one on one with the girl, talking and building comfort, I actually don't think you can have too much eye contact. I would say that at this point you should be looking into her eyes about 90-100% of the time.

This is why it's good to escalate gradually almost like she is winning you over until she's earned your attention.

This is a great post, I was just talking about eye contact in conversation the other day. Your idea is great with the opening and looking away for a moment.

Do you look in women's eyes when they are speaking, or do you prefer to show slight disinterest by looking away occasionally. I believe this to be a opinion of how much respect you are willing to show to your speaker.

If you are constantly looking in their eyes when they are speaking perhaps you showing too much interest, but if you look away you may seem more important and make people fight for your attention. I'm not going to pretend like I have experimented with this idea or know the answers, just a thought.

I know it is important to look at people 100% of the time when you are the one speaking, that sends a clear message.

Principle is -- when they are uncomfortable, people tend to do the opposite of what they are asked to do. So creating tension and using reverse psychology is powerful!!

On the other hand when people are comfortable and know what's up they go along with you. See what I wrote here about patterns:

approaching-and-opening-vf51.html

So if you approach with a well known pattern you can keep eye contact and so forth. If you create tension then you should break the pattern and focus away from them, then they will be MORE OPEN to continuing.

For example you can come up to them create tension and ask them hey guys, can I get your advice on something? When they say yes you stall... get out your phone, think and say actually I'm not sure if it makes sense to ask this... they will then be like "ask us!"

Same thing with kissing and escalating!