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Just out of curiosity how did u guys personally get girlfriends and sex before u started PUA. i mean how do normal people get girlfriends without all this talk of routines,openers,dhv'ing and all this other technical crap.
The "normal" way, back in our parents/grandparents day used to be you went to church and checked out the girl you liked. Then after services everyone would have a coffee and donuts on the lawn/basement and everybody would socialize. Typically your parents would introduce you to potential dates.
These days it is usually a numbers game involving proximity, popularity, looks, and persistence. In other words you're the popular kid at school. Since you see the girl you like everyday and keep trying she ends up either completely rejecting you or gives in and you go on a date. Or you get set up through friends. A lot of regular people tend to stick with who and what they know and have never even asked someone else out. They buy into the Hollywood soul mates crap (while secretly disbelieving it). Everything becomes a big deal and limiting beliefs rule their worlds with nonsense such as types and out my league.
Personally, if you go back before pua and back before college in my history to where I was crap with girls you'll find:
- A BIG limiting belief that some girls you just clicked with and some (read: most) you didn't.
- You couldn't talk to a girl with a boyfriend.
- A guy that enjoyed a number of geeky activities that were basically forms of birth control (D&D, Magic: The Gathering, video games, horror movies, etc.)
- Any physical contact I had with girls came mostly from my martial arts class and rolling around on the mat with them and clueless attempts at getting laid on the walk to and at the library while waiting around for our rides.
- I remember my best friend was a friend with a neighbor girl (of mid level popularity) that came around and sometimes brought her friends. Since we were below them in popularity none of them would date us publicly, but if we had any skills whatsoever we could have gotten laid a few times. Me being the chicken shit I was at that time wouldn't touch a girl to do a palm read, but instead I'd give her a reading with playing cards.
- Once a sister of another friend had a friend that used me for experimentation figuring if I bothered to mention it to anyone I was so far down on the totem pole nobody would listen.
- If I remember correctly I had one official date in HS with a fixer up type of girl from my art class. She was too ethnic looking to get a date at our white bread school. We went to Seaworld. Since it was the company picnic for my father's world my folks went as well as my younger brothers and one of their friends. Most of the day involved my brothers and their friend tailing us around trying to make me look bad. The joke was on them, I was more than capable of making myself look bad.
A few other things here and there, but if I had never gone to college I'm not sure how all this would have worked out.
In college I had the good fortune of knowing a few naturals. Which typically meant I was by default the extra guy for the extra girl when they went on dates. I also got really good at social circle and later did a bit of hit or miss cold approach.
My roommate happened to be one of these naturals and it completely messed with my idea of what a natural was. Up until that point I thought of a natural as basically L.L. Cool J (A buff, smooth talking (probably black) guy, with a little fame under his belt). But here was this tall, outgoing guy who wore some makeup and was good with women because he grew up with sisters. He had attracted a girl from class and brought her around often. Soon she was part of our circle of friends. Before long my roommate, whom at that time was straight edge, and fairly religious turned her off so she was no longer interested in him. I was around the most. So, I went for broke and before long this girl that looked like Milla Jovovich's shorter sister was sharing my bed. We really didn't have much in common so it was a physical thing even though we were only sleeping with each other. I forget how long we dated, but it wasn't long. Eventually she broke up with me due to my insecurity of her being more experienced than I was in and out of bed. BUT it gave me a huge boost in confidence.
The next girl I saw when one of my female friends showed me a video she had shot for class. Everyone was just screwing around in the video figuring out how sound equipment worked and the camera. I knew I wanted to meet her when I saw her in the video. My friend set up a lunch. The girl had a boyfriend, but my friend really didn't like the guy (with good reason). We had chemistry when we were out at lunch. Some time later the same friend invited the girl I liked to a party we were invited to. She started getting a bit too drunk because her boyfriend was at a "study group" on the weekend with some other girl. Even though I ended up getting drunk I ended up taking care of her that night. We hooked up sometime the next morning. Dated seriously for a while. Due to a number of things beyond our control it didn't work out.
The next girl I met through my roommate. We ended up getting together when only were a handful of people were around who didn't go home for the holidays. I think I invited her up to my place to watch a movie. We ended up dating until she got super clingy (and other stuff) and I saw an opening to get back with my ex.
Got back with my ex from the video and things eventually went sour. At that point I basically gave up on proper relationships and hung out with my friends that were naturals more. More or less became a player until I moved with an old friend to another city post college. Gave the relationship thing another try after experimenting with some early pick up stuff I had found. Had fun, but I wasn't getting the results I wanted.
I was also doing online stuff prior to the move to fill in gaps in my dating life.
Then when I was living in Portland I got into the pick up stuff proper. Picked up The Game. Failed with that as much as I made it work. Picked up MM, which gave me a structure for what I was doing in the past. Smoothed out a few rough edges. Started getting more quality to quantity. Found Brad P.'s stuff and Cap't Jack, which were probably two of the biggest influences on what my game turned into. Moved a few times. Went back to Portland. Put the finishing touches on my style. Wrote my seduction manual since I felt a lot of what was out there was either unnecessary or just plain wrong. All the while getting my writing career launched.
Moved to the south. Found that it was a mistake. Focused on getting out. Went out off and on. Went back to focusing on work for a while. Went back out. Got back into online stuff in the last few weeks. Um, I don't know. I left a lot out and glossed over even more, but the point is most of my early success was a result of my social circle and being lucky enough to meet and hang out with a few naturals. Then it was just a matter of reading enough material and putting in the time out there. I'm still a dorky/geeky/intellectual type and fun guy. I'm more at home being myself now. I know how to convey what's attractive about myself to women and how to get them to respond to that quickly. Will I get every girl? Not by a long shot. BUT I do feel I'm in a better place in that I'm able to get what I want instead of needing to know the right people or just lucking into it.