Hi there technical guys!
This post is for newbies who still have AA. It's long but read it and you'll thank me!
If you're not getting laid yet, it means that your social value is still low. It means that you didn't figure out yet how to talk to people in a way that they will naturally respect you and like you.
I came up with a visualization thing that works for me, and hopefully will help other guys who are technical and visual. Just focus on the Valve. That's all you have to do!
Imagine you and her are each into a balloon filled with air. That air is the social value, the power.
The link between you and her is a pipe. The pipe is the communication (verbal and non-verbal).
Now if the pipe has has no Valve, you as an AFC tend to pump her up too much, because you can't hold your shit together, you can't hold the pressure, the tension.
The tendency is to send out too much though the pipe. Therefore your balloon gets smaller and smaller and her balloon gets bigger and bigger, until she realizes that you're too small(too low value) for her and she'll walk away.
Does that make sense to you at all?
If it does then read on, to learn how the Pressure-Regulating-Valve works.
Now imagine this pipe has a valve that ensures that your balloon doesn't lose pressure while you're piped to her.
What you send out, you must receive back. Otherwise your balloon gets smaller and you lose.
Balloon getting smaller = Your social value getting lower = Kills Attraction
So respect the Valve rule, at least during approaching/opening until she becomes interested/attracted. (Later you may tell stories while she's quiet, but if you don't respect the Valve rule to attract her, you won't get too far, she'll walk away without giving a damn about you or your stories. why? coz you have low-value in her eyes and she will be interested in hanging out with you as much as you are interested in hanging out with a street-bum. People are attracted to individuals who are equal or higher in value Learn to demonstrate value(using my Valve technique) and you'll be a people magnet).
Example:
So you walk up to a girl and say "Hi". Then use your imaginary Valve and wait for her reaction. She may be confused and her reply will may be delayed and you might feel you're about to explode bcz of the tension/pressure(but you have the Valve that helps you hold the pressure, right?). So you wait for her to answer/reaction, you look into her pupil(if you don't she'll know you're a loser scared of her) and you stay still/relaxed(coz if you fidget she'll know you're a loser scared of her) and having your full attention on the Valve while waiting for her to say something back, she MUST say something back to unlock the Valve, otherwise you are not allowed to pursue her anymore. (coz if you do, you violated the valve rule and you lost your backbone in her eyes. she is not and will be not interested in you. although some would chose to play with you to see how far they can go, they can have some fun if you suck on er high-heel but she'll never respect you and/or see you as a man. me personally I'm not into that so I avoid dominant girls in the first place)
So focus on the Valve. If her balloon gets bigger, and yours gets smaller, attraction dies right there, her mind will drag and drop you into "BUMs" folder and next she'll get rid of you politely or impolitely.
The valve is your guardian angel form this day on. The Valve makes you that you give value, you wait until you receive value, or you close the pipe. You end the interaction with that person. That person is not good for you. So move on!
Be prepared and aware that not not everyone will like you(as a naive AFC I guess you don't have this concept clear in your head). So walk away without hesitation from people who don't fit your criteria/standards(you have firm criteria and standards don't you? you know clearly what your values are, what you tolerate and what you don't).
List on a paper the top qualities you need in a girl (ie. feminine/submissive, positive, thin, etc...) Now add this quality "she must respect the Valve rule".
So if she's not meeting your criteria, respect yourself and immediately walk away from her! (that's what high-value people do, they immediately walk away from people or situations they don't like).
If you don't respect the Valve rule, you become a beggar, like you beg someone who's not interested in you to give you attention and value.
Don't try to manipulate people by "getting them to like you". That's what low-value insecure pleasers do. Don't be that guy! (at least not anymore!).
If they are not willing to deliver back through the valve, so you can have your balloon at least equals, then walk away. Don't allow them to lower your balloon until you end up at their feet.
Nobody respects a shoe-shiner, although some enjoy using one for a while before throwing him away. And when it comes to women, don't hope she'll use you for sex, coz without value there's no attraction therefore sex is unlikely to happen, so at best she'll use you to carry her luggage and wash her car and all you get is a friendly pat on your back(and maybe let you on her and her friends for a coffee and a girl-gossip if you really did a magnificent job).
So again, if she doesn't reciprocate and give value back, the valve gets blocked, you walk away immediately. Coz if you don't I'll kick your ass!
I don't care if she's Adriana Lima and your heart is bumping like crazy. You won't get anything good if you violate the Valve rule. You'll just waste time trying and possibly allowing manipulative girls to play you and use you. In the long run when you sum it all up, it's only pain(frustration) and no gain.
Learn to respect yourself, by respecting the valve rule. Just one rule and your life will change and your success with women will improve massively.
If you violate the Valve rule, your balloon will be smaller and hers will be bigger. You take the inferior position. Girls don't enjoy giving head to inferior/weak guys. Just like in animal kingdom, females are genetically programmed to mate with a powerful male. You don't have to be the most powerful on the planet, but you MUST be more powerful then her, if not then it goes against her instincts, no attraction, no blowjobs for you, sorry.
If you want to be treated like a CEO then you must act like a CEO. (ie. don't be a submissive pleaser and expect to be treated like a CEO. that's not how it works)
Now a CEO acts the way he acts(and ppl treats him with respect) bcz he has a strong beliefs system, he has a strong character, the attitude he projects demands respect. His strong character(his steel-principles, his very-high-self-esteem), acts like a Valve for him. Therefore he will naturally respect the Valve rule.
For you my dear AFC, to obtain the same attitude as a CEO, you must fix all your fuckedup beliefs, you may need many years of cognitive-behavior therapy depending on how severe your issues are. Lots of time, lots of money and a lot of hard work. And of course you also must be lucky enough to encounter a good therapist. Coz if you don't, you may find an average one that will tell you "take these pills and you'll be fine in no time" (not all psychologists are elite, you know.. and those who are elite indeed, will charge the shit out of you).
So rather use the Valve rule and fix your problems backwards, from out side inside. It's not even faking! You don't have to fake it till you make it. You just demand respect and don't allow poor SPAM from others.
Feel offended and walk if someone violates the Valve rule. It's your right to chose who you interact with. If they don't respect the rule, they don't worth your time.
So in the beginning, just respect this one rule and you'll do fine. And little by little, the positive feedback you will get, and the experience you will gather, will automatically change your internal beliefs and the CEO attitude will become who you are, it will get fixed into your bones, into every molecule of your body.
For now, when you interact with a girl(or with anyone) just focus on your precious platinum Valve. Make a conscious effort and focus on this one thing.
You don't care what she thinks, how she will react, so on and so forth... that is not in your control and if you try to control/manipulate the way she thinks about you or the way she will react... you're on the dead road that prevents AFCs from getting laid. Thinking about what's in her mind, will boost AA and will make you behave like a fucking retard and you will crash and burn.
You can't control her or her mind. Stop trying that. It's a sure way to fail.
You only focus on your precious platinum valve, that is all that matters for you right now. If she doesn't respect the Valve rule, then imagine your balloon just got smaller, she's not a good prospect, so don't waste a second more, just move on, find another girl that will reciprocate hence will respect the Valve rule and maintain your balloon at a high level(that's your social value, you're right).
So me for example, I'm more of a low energy guy. It's totally unnatural for me to stop a girl and pretend I'm high energy and put up a stand up comedy show to get her laughing. That clowning shit ain't for me.
(for those low energy guys out there see James Marshall for inspiration, the Australian pua guru, who's still and quiet like a fucking reptile and have crazy success at seducing women, coz as he said... seduction actually takes place in a very low energy state). So be the way you are, if you're high energy be high energy, if you're low energy be low energy.
Back to the the valve...
So I'd walk up to a girl (stop her if she's walking by) [if she notices me I just look into her eyes as I get closer, even before I talk, I noticed it helps tremendously to catch at least a second or two of eye contact before I speak].
Initially I start with a neutral face, no smile (but definitely not frowned!).
Look at her contemplating... like I'm thinking "OMG she's so cute!".
And approach her like something just happened!
I go like "Excuse me, I noticed you walking by(or sitting here)..." pause for effect one second, keep eye contact, straight into her pupil... and then "and I just wanted to tell you, that you're really cute!"
They love it.
Coz first a hijack their attention, they surprised and don't know what's happening and what do I want from her... it builds up a little tension... and then a hit her with the compliment and she's flattered which comes as a tension release for them.
Some of them react really nice and they pack themselves allowing me to talk to them! The cold ones just give me a generic smile and a generic thanks as they "bodyrock" away from me.
Once I am in the set I can't stand the fucking pressure/tension having her focused on me, so I feel the urge to eject myself asap, fearing it will get awkward not knowing what to say next(the typical afc behaviour).
So as I was chatting online I realized that when I say something, no matter how trivial, and girl delays her reply, she will eventually reply if I just ignore her(maybe some are just testing guys for neediness this way?!?).
So that's when the idea hit me, and I started to visualize this as a Valve. So if I send a line, I wait until she replies(weather it takes 3 seconds or 3 hours). I noticed the quality of my chats improved, the girls take me more seriously. So from now this must be a rule for me(which you can adopt if it rings your bells).
If I say something, no matter how smart or stupid, how entertaining or boring... I say something,
I need a reaction back before I continue.
I must not care if I said something stupid, if she was turned off or offended by what I said or if she suddenly lost interest in chatting with me, I just ignore her until I get a reaction back.
As AFC you tend to worry if you said the right thing, if she liked or disliked, you tend to immediately improve your chances by "impressing" her somehow, by "MAKING HER LIKE YOU". That's what turns them off.
As Eddie Murphy said he realized... the more you try to make people like you, the more they dislike you.
So be a man, take responsibility and be prepared for a rejection, hold the tension and accept whatever comes from her, weather positive or negative. The simple act of holding the pressure will radiate confidence and she'll love that.
So from this day on, I'll respect my Valve rule. If I don'tget a reply for something I said. I'll interpret it as an act of disrespect and since I can't force someone to give me attention or like me, I'll just move on..
As Paul Janka (NYC pua guru) said in his book, the most important word in English is NEXT(so learn it well and use it often!). And the second largest natural resource of the planet, after water, is... you guessed what!
And that's the mentality the girls have, they have that feeling of abundance and skip guy after guy until they find something they really like.
So just focus on this one thing, the Valve, not only with girls but with ANYONE.
Fuck all the routines and tips and tricks. You don't have to do or say what other people do and say. Be who you are and respect the Valve. Keep your balloon intact and you'll be a people magnet just like any other person of high social value.
Imagine Johnny Deep, bored at home, looking for have a casual chat end up messaging you "Hey! How's it going?". You don't reply at all.
What happens next?
a) He will send another line begging for your attention "Hey man, are you there?? Talk to me!!!"
b) He will move on with his life and never send another line your way, unless you get back to him, maybe in 3 hours, maybe in 48 hours.
So now you see what I mean by having the attitude of a high value person, acting like a VIP doesn't mean being arrogant, it means just to demand back at least the same amount of respect you offer.
As I was recently reading in a book about sales, the secret of successful people in sales is that they treat every client like they worth a million dollars. The same thing applies in personal life also, treat people with respect but ignore those who get value from you and give nothing or less back.
Have the mentality and attitude of a CEO and you'll get your dick wet for sure. An attitude that demands respect generates attraction. That's more important then looks and wealth. Without the attitude, even a guy with looks and wealth will be played by a manipulative gold digger who'll use him and abuse him and then throw him away, as she has no respect for that emotionally weak guy/pussy.
I know I explained like I'd talk to a 6 year old. But I just wanted to make sure I make myself clear, coz as afcs we're all dummies when it comes with social dynamics and more specifically man-woman dynamics. Otherwise you wouldn't be reading my post right now, you'd probably be too busy having 3somes and such.
Later as you develop genuine confidence out of the real life experiences you'll expose to... then yeah you'll be able to be persistent and make adjustments to boost your chances, such as persisting and insisting until she cracks
But for now, just keep away from difficulty girls as they can play you just like you play Nintendo, you're not ready for those yet.
For now just look for friendly girls and focus on the Valve to keep them interested/attracted to you.
You don't need routines and pua materials. Do it as an exercise. Have good body language(good stance, good eye contact focus on her, speak clear/articulated and don't hurry).
So body language + Valve.
If you do these correctly, you can talk about weather and she'll respect you.
Once you see it works you'll become addicted. You will have social value for te rest of your life.
To help you visualize the Valve I created an image. Take a mental photo of this image and when you interact with a girl keep focusing on your precious platinum valve that stands between you and her. Don't pump too much into her or you'll become smaller as she gets bigger. You don't want that.
This is nothing new, just a funny, very graphic representation and framing of how an interaction between two people should take place without losing your value/power. An easy way that you can instantly "flashback" when you're under pressure interacting with a girl(or any person).
So now you know. If you get treated like shit, it's your fault. Take full responsibility. It's bcz you pumped all your value/power into them and now you're just an aunt and they'll step in you. The exact same person will respect others, but he/she won't respect YOU(coz you're worthless in his/hers eyes). Now you know why!
This imaginary
valve will remove all the neediness and help you get/maintain/project social value. Just this ONE thing!
Fuck lies, routines and all that's fake, the need of being fake is the desperation of being accepted/liked. Girls sense that.
Just be yourself, stop fearing to show your real face, those who don't like your real face can walk away. You'll get more satisfaction by finding someone(no matter how hard it'll be) who will like you the way you really are, no matter how weird. That weariness is something unique that you have and that someone will know it's hard to find that weirdness elsewhere.
Now before I end this topic I already invested too much time in writing it while drinking a big coffee and I feel I gave you too much value for free, so you must first suck my balls before you apply my trick.
And if you're among those who disagree with this Valve concept, then it's Ok you can suck my balls too!
ONLY THE POWER OF THE VALVE CAN GET YOUR DICK WET.... YOU PATHETIC WORTHLESS SHOE-SHINNING ACCEPTANCE BEGGAR. (this is for motivational purposes, Mr. PlsLikeMe).
As the hairstylists say... keep your head up!
CHAT