This post is going to cover opinion openers, being an alpha male, and a very simple nonverbal social circle approach. So, if you’re interested in those things stick around. If not I’ve just saved you some time to go read something more to your liking.

Still here? Good. Now, I’ve noticed two of the biggest misunderstood topics in pick up are opinion openers and what it means to be an alpha male. You may even be shocked to learn many people tend to lump these two into the same approach!

Opinion openers and being an alpha male are like oil and water. 99% of the time they shouldn’t go together. Know why?

Don’t worry; if you’re like most guys you are probably confused right now. You’re saying to yourself, “I use opinion openers without a problem and I’m an alpha male, aren’t I?”

Well, I’m going to explain it to you in a minute, but first let’s take a look at opinion openers and why you probably shouldn’t be using them.

Opinion openers have been shown to be a good, if not neutral, way to approach. Notice I said approach, not close. So, if you want to be an approach artist and not a closer then by all means stay in your diluted little world where you successfully opened all those sets, and got all those numbers only to find yourself alone more often than not when the weekend rolls around.

So, why do opinion openers suck? They are NOT alpha male behavior. Asking a stranger what she thinks of your nails, or if you should dye your hair automatically gives her importance and sub-communicates, “I am insecure”. Asking her to help you name your friend’s dogs after some 80’s duo is even worse.

Let me put it this way. Let’s say you’re talking with your friends and a girl comes up to you and asks your opinion on which engine she should drop into her car. She rattles off some engine types she specific memorized so she would have something to come talk to you about. Her girlfriends told her guys are into cars so learn something about cars. BUT you could care less about cars; you’re a video games guy. Then she keeps on about this car related thing, and that car related thing, and even though you don’t know anything about cars you can tell she isn’t interested in what she’s talking about. What’s worse is she will come across as insecure like she’s trying too hard to win your approval.

So, what do you do (assuming you’re used to having girls talk to you)? You dismiss her. Sure you might be enjoying the attention and stick around talking to her for a while, but if she doesn’t at some point stop with her male centric conversation and get real all that is going to be accomplished is a girl wasting both yours and her time.

Giving a stranger too much importance in your life is the same as putting her on a pedestal. It is not good and it is not alpha male behavior.

Alpha male behavior is another misunderstood concept. A lot of guys get into this pick up stuff because they are not as confident with women as they would like to be and generally have a skewed notion of what an alpha male is in the first place. Then this is doubly compounded by the face most pua material doesn’t understand what an alpha male is either. So, you just get confused and start chasing false notions of the alpha male.

Two of the most common misinterpretations of the alpha male are:

1. The faux bad boy.
2. The James Bond.

The logic goes like this. Nerdy guy sees this guy and he thinks the bad boy is treating girls like crap, but at the same time surrounded by them. He must be an alpha male. He isn’t, he’s an insecure asshole with a few qualities she finds attractive. Now, the pick up nerd sees a James Bond type and says that’s an alpha male. Which in a sense is true, but hey, you’re not James Bond. Nor should you be.

An alpha male is just an assertive guy who is comfortable with the guy he is and in turn is attractive to those around him. A true alpha male isn’t going to present himself in an insecure why and thus won’t use opinion openers. He isn’t going to care what a stranger thinks for the most part. That’s not to say he won’t care what his friends and lovers think because he will, but not before they reach that stage.

There are a few exceptions to opinion openers, but I’ll save those for some other time.

So, if opinion openers aren’t the way to go how should you approach opening and pick up? Well, for those of you who have read my book already know I’m a big fan of curiosity. Make a girl curious and she’ll want to know more. A great way to do this is to use a knowledge gap opener. This opener is nothing more than a bit of related trivia, which on the surface seems like common knowledge, but when examined it turns out almost everyone misses one or two of the list items.

Now, let’s say you’re in a social circle, but you haven’t really gotten the chance to go talk to that girl you’re interested in one to one. It might be at school, at work, or your neighborhood bar. So, how do you make her curious when you cannot talk to her directly? How do you make her curious in less than a minute? How can you keep her interested until get an opportunity to talk to her whether it is a day from now, a week, or even a month?

It is relatively simple. It only requires a representation of alpha male qualities and a level of comfort within your social circle. You start by talking with your social circle about something you find interesting and you indirectly get the girl’s attention. Easiest way to do this is to talk about something with universal appeal. Subjects that naturally draw attention and other people just add themselves to your conversations. The next easiest way is to say something a bit too loudly drawing her attention.

Once you have her attention she will start paying attention to how you carry yourself within your social circle. Since you’re talking about something that already interests you and these people are already your friends you will appear more comfortable. If the girl doesn’t already have a negative view of you she will focus more and more closely on what you’re doing. She can’t help herself.

What happens is you are going to catch her looking at you and she will look away. If she’s interested it is likely she will play the old female flirting game where she looks at you to see if you’re looking at her. Then when you look at her she looks away and vice versa. From this point you know she is probably interested and at the very least curious. You have displayed a comfort with yourself and with your peers, which is an alpha behavior.

Now, you’re going to display another alpha behavior, which will remove any doubt she has about you. This time when she looks at you instead of looking away you’re going to look directly into her eyes for a few seconds until she looks away. You can add a little smile if you want depending on how much you want her to know you are interested in her.

After you do this do NOTHING. Do not pay attention to her, do not approach her just continue speaking with your friends and then when you’re done spending time with your friends leave. (Please note: This works best within a social circle where you know you will see her again, but it can work in cold approach if you know it is likely you will see her at another venue later in the night.)

So, why have you just gone to all this trouble to not do anything?

To plant the seed to ensure she likes you. She will think to herself, “I know he likes me and I know he’s a well adjusted social guy,” but then she will have to account for you not approaching her. She will start to second guess if what she saw was really what she saw and whether or not you are actually interested. She’ll think about you more and more and the more she thinks about you the more she will convince herself she is interested in you. Why would she be thinking about you so much if she weren’t interested in you?

So, it no longer becomes a question of whether she is interested, but a question of whether you are interested in her. Your seeding, another technique I cover in my book, has essentially done the work for you and all you have to do is be your interesting self when you finally do find a convenient time to approach.

Please note: You can repeat this scenario a few times without an issue as any negative “creepy staring guy” vibe will be downplayed against your being alpha and well adjusted within your social circle. However, if you keep it going for too long she will see you as the “creepy staring guy” or she’ll start to stalk you turning you off. In addition to this your friends will start to get tired of you two being retarded (they will notice after a short time) and almost force you to get together with each other. Which can be nice, but if you abuse this dynamic your friends really will get tired of your behavior and then you’re in danger of losing friends/a social circle over a preventable issue.

Well guys, that’s it! A simple, properly applied alpha approach for your social circle. Now, get out there and be the closer I know you can be.

_________________
Hi, I'm A. Fahren and I'm an author. I love to travel, socialize, and am hopelessly addicted to movies. That's about it.

What are the exceptions in the opinion openers?

And what other openers to 'open sets' in clubs on your own do you use ?

Well, if you're new and more concerned with approaching, have a huge confidence issue to deal with, or are have a different purpose like building persistent proof or are really interested in finding the answer to a question.
The above social circle example would work even better in the club, but you will have other things to account for like seeing her again. This would assume they are bar/club hopping or she's a club regular.

Not to mention when you add liquid courage from her drinking and your missing her signs on purpose can cause her to go direct. Which for a girl usually means the brush or bump as she walks past or at the bar when she stands near you and could stand other places. Then she does the bar lean while pushing her ass out and checking to make sure you're checking her out. Though in such a case you'd need a little experience to tell the difference between a girl that is interested and the one just interested in getting you to buy her a drink.

Personally if I'm going to a club I'm not likely with my social circle so the above example doesn't really apply. However, if I'm cold approaching in the club I'm going to do short set and befriend the guys (so they don't screw with me later). After last call until about 30 minutes after the club closes I'll game outside when people are catching cabs and/or getting food. That's really the best time and place to game at the club anyway.

As far as the opener I'd probably go with a state modulation set with a transference opener.

_________________
Hi, I'm A. Fahren and I'm an author. I love to travel, socialize, and am hopelessly addicted to movies. That's about it.

I think I have to disagree with you for the most part Youwish.
I can see your point as it can come off to be needy but I think that this is why the Sarger must stack using a story with DHV spikes in it straight after.
For example in the show "The Pick up Artist" you often see contestants use opinion openers about the weather or music or videos. I generally dislike these opinion openers because after using them I myself personally find them hard to push the conversation anywhere.
One I don't mind using is an opener that goes something like this. (Stolen a bit from mystery but with my own twist on to it).

Approach a set, (I like at least 1-2 guys in the set because it makes the conversation diverse and the men will normally see a similar point of view to yours which means that, without them knowing it, they will probably help you keep the conversation going. And if they agree with you it is easier to get their approval of talking to the girls of the group)

Ask "What do you guys and girls think about tattoos on women?" (most guys will have no problem with it and probably actually support it by saying something that it can be really attractive. Girls will either be against them or for them.)

At this stage either someone is going to ask what is with the question or you are going to ask another more in depth question. (but word it so you do not seem needy) I generally say "My ex girlfriend, who I am still good friends with, has been dating this guy for the last 7 or 8 months, he is a top bloke and I am happy for them but she wants to get his name tattooed on her. I want to try to stop her cause one if they break up she will have his name tattooed on her and two she wants to pursue a career in photography modelling and it could prevent her from doing what she wants"

Saying something along those lines have shown a few quality DHV spikes.
For one the girl knows you have dated before and can remain friends with your ex. Two she knows your not the jealous type cause you think your ex's new partner is a top bloke.
Three it shows you care for the people in your life
Four it leaves the impression in the girls mind that your ex is fairly attractive is wants to be a photography model, which she starts to think you must have something going on.

Finish it up with something like "so what are everyone's thoughts?" or "what would you guys do in this situation."
A good thing about this technique is that it is very easy to win the guys over because most of them will feel for you and you can keep them involved by asking their opinions or what they would do in this situation. By keeping the guys involved the women won't think you are needy and dependent on them.

Obviously you would neg your target a bit and once you have won the group and her over, you would isolate her.

_________________
Newbie

Unsolicited and out of context stories are weird. Assuming you believe the nonsense of value it is the opposite of what you're trying to do.
Okay. I take it we're talking about cold approach now.
Yawn. I like them, I don't like them. Done. No attraction gained. You come off as sounding a bit boring. Things must be different in your neck of the woods because here MOST guys don't give a crap what you're talking about.
Talking about your ex or your current girlfriend is so-so from my testing and not really something that needs to be mentioned. I'm not really interested in sub-par game. Everyone knows this is a bad idea. It's practically an urban legend. Is this boring or will we start talking about urban legends?

Anyone who has actually dated a number of models will also be able to call bs on tattoos preventing her from modeling.
1995 called and it wants its game back.

Since you still buy into this DHV stuff let me ask you this, why wouldn't you DHV off of the opener rather than wasting time with an opener and a story that says you're boring and likely full of it? Then go directly into being an attractive guy instead of dropping your weird story that takes how long (ten minutes)?

_________________
Hi, I'm A. Fahren and I'm an author. I love to travel, socialize, and am hopelessly addicted to movies. That's about it.

I got shut down a bit haha. You give a good argument, actually quite great. I am very new at the game. I was introduced to it by the book "The Game." By Neil Strauss. So I based this very similar to their approach and yeah it is a bit outdated. I do thank you for criticising though as it will help me learn more. Is their a link or something you know off that has any good openers?

_________________
Newbie

well personally i just go an talk to them lol.. but when i feal the conversation is becoming dead i just through in a opinion oppener! lol does any one else through in opinion openers when they run outa things to say? or the convo is dead?

_________________
BJC

God that was so damn true. I just never thought of it before, but yeah, thinking back on the chicks that Ive gotten, and back to the attraction stage, it has always been natural and stuff, no needy opinion openers. That's really true.
Although for OO sake, it's a good way to get out of yourself and just dive into the "meet new ppl" vibe in a club or party. I think it's a pretty good way to face your approach anxiety. I still need some directed face-time with this (AA).

I mean, how are you gonna engineer a good conversation right next to a target? (I forgot what that's called) Anyways, always great to have fresh perspectives.

Peace

_________________
Brevity is the soul of wit. - Shakespeare

As a general rule you're right. Observational opinion openers can work fine as it's easy to be funny with them, but I stand by "Hey how's it going?" as the best opener, works for me.

_________________
Even the most naturally gifted can learn to become better.

thechewsta, nah man you’re good. In fact you’re already ahead of the game by realizing any one source isn’t going to have all of the answers.

If I remember correctly there is a sticky post near the top of this section with a long list of openers.

What you have to keep in mind is what sort of guy am I and how do I present that in an attractive way to women. Then choose your openers/material based on the person you are and what you’re trying to convey.

A lot of new guys will look for that magic bullet opener that will take care of everything and a lot of more experienced guys will tell you there isn’t a magic bullet. While it’s true there is no magic bullet it is also true all openers are not created equally. Some are better than others, but I cannot give you the best opener because that is going to change based on who you are and how much it resonates with women.

I’m a fan of the effective and the efficient. I really don’t want to be spending a lot of time trying to decide on which opener I’m going to be using on this specific type of woman or that type of woman. Nor do I want to worry about whether this opener is going to work well for all female sets or will work better for mixed sets. Not to mention I don’t want to have something that works well at night only to have it fall flat in the day.

The more you’re in your head worrying about this stuff the more you’re missing out on having a good time. It should be fun. So, I’m not going to cram my head with more than the absolute minimum and that means what I do have has to work extra hard so I’m not wasting time babbling on about nothing.

This is doubly true if you find approach anxiety is an issue for you. You might have all these great solutions for what to do in a specific situation and you can just have them flow from your brain like water into a bowl and then out of your mouth, but when approach anxiety appears it is like replacing the bowl with a strainer. Suddenly 90% of it is gone. So, I want to KNOW what is left is still going to get me to where I can relax and have it all come back.

That said it is better to have something come out of your mouth than nothing. So, if you’re new and as long as you realize those opinion openers you’re using are not likely to give you the outcome you’re looking for then by all means keep with them. Sometimes a woman will pick up on your nervousness and give you the benefit of the doubt, but she’ll vanish if you don’t drop the routine stuff that is obviously not working and just be real.

Okay, so how do you find your best opener?

After you take a moment to examine who you are and what makes you attractive to women you are going to pick out maybe a dozen openers or make your own.

Then you will go out and do something called split testing. All that means is you will pick two openers and test them out on a wide range of women you find attractive in a number of settings.

Do this for about a week keeping track of the openers that lead to a good interaction and helped you to gain attraction quickly. Keep the one with the best results and dump the other one. Replace the one you dumped with a new opener and repeat. Ask yourself or get other people who have more experience why certain things worked and others didn’t.

Dump any openers that work well, but have poor follow up. Examples would include getting fake numbers, having a single good interaction, and having a good first date only to have her vanish. Usually this means you have excellent material, but it isn’t meshing well with your personality. So, she gets the impression you were one guy when you met and now you’ve suddenly become this other guy. Depending on the woman she’ll view it as deception or it could simply be she isn’t attracted to the “real” you.

In my experience some of the best openers are knowledge gap openers that create curiosity and openers that instantly get her attracted to you. A lot of guys overlook knowledge gap openers because they are low key and aren’t drama filled.

The news is really good at applying this type of opener (in a negative way) with their teaser lines. I’m sure you’ve heard them before. “Common household items that are killing you right now and you don’t even know it…find out when we come back.”

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking, “Holy shit. What’s killing me?” and I’ll sit through the dumb commercials to find out. The knowledge gap opener does the same thing with more of a neutral or positive spin. Usually a short list of items, which seem like simple common knowledge on the surface, that you can have her name off works well.

_________________
Hi, I'm A. Fahren and I'm an author. I love to travel, socialize, and am hopelessly addicted to movies. That's about it.

Opinion openers do not suck.

Problem is, most guys stay on the topic to long. Get away from the opener asap.

I disagree about your view on opinion openers. They may show insecurity about yourself if you ask about yourself. The two last opinion openers I used, one about dogs (dont ask) and the other about who is the better guitarist out of Alice Cooper and Jimmy Hendrix (I dont even have a clue about them), worked perfect.

_________________
Half Greek, half English. Just the good halves.