| Okay, so this really isn't that pick up oriented. But, I'd figure I'd give everyone a couple of laughs.
So two weeks ago I went to Montreal, QC for a weekend of partying and hockey love. I went up with two guy friends and two girlfriends. From the moment I get there, I'm just busting on these two chicks. Just about anything under the sun is said. These girls loved themselves, so I have no problem bringing them down to Earth using the words "Slut, whore, tramp", all in good fun. So the first night I'm there, I'm in a club and I'm impressing my guys friends because I'm getting numbers and chatting up girls and this one chick was almost begging me to go across the street with her to go dance (in retrospect, I really don't knwo why I didn't). I get some drinks out of girls and the HB6 I came to Montreal with (who was the uglier of the two), starts to hit on me. I don't care at this point, I'm more entertained by myself. Eventually though, I decided to stop gaming and get drunk and have fun with my friends. At this point, this HB6 sees her chance and really just seduces me. I will admit she did a good job, I was impressionable and she didn't really give me a choice. So the five of us find our way back to our hotel room.
Now here is the funny part.
On my bed, there is myself and this HB6. On the other bed, is my friend Alex and the other girl, and HB8. (they don't sleep together). Finally, my friend Pat is in the chair, right next to my bed. So I start making out with this girl and I tell her that I'm not doing any work at all. So she gets on top and we fool around a bit. You know, the prelude to sex. So this chick has a tongue stud ok? And of course, in the middle of making out with her, it comes undone. Where does it go? Right down my throat. So I'm sitting there coughing and choking and finally I cough it out. She is like "Where'd it go? I need to find it." "I don't know or care" I reply. So we have sex and she gets off and I don't. She goes, "Is that my fault?". "Yeah", I say, "Do you suck?". So she goes down on me and starts giving me lamest Beej in the history of Beejs. Then she stops and starts making this wierd noise, either she's gaggin her self on my cock or she's about to throw-up. So I say, "You can be done now", in order to prevent the latter. So that was extremely disappointing and as she walks away I go, "That was the worst lay I ever had". She hears this and gets so pissed off. Everyone in the room is laughing except this chick.
When I talk to my friend Alex the next day he's like "I though you busted on her and you guys had no idea where it went" after I tell him about the tongue piercing incident.
This is random, but if anyone can find a moral out of this please do. Don't make the same mistake as me.
SLUTS ARE NOT ALWAYS THE BEST LAY
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-Duke
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CHAT
