Its too long.
May work as a secondary routine after the initial opener to generate convo(provided set is hooked & willing to interact).
I personally stay away from "traditional" opinion openers as an opener. I'd use them as a "secondary" opener after the set has been opened already.
Just something along the lines...
ex/
Full strong frame, smiling.
JUSTINcredible!
"Hey real quick, whats your impression of my buddy's ring?"
HB
Let them get 75% finished w/ their sentence.
Interrupt. (If they say a one word answer, that can usually end the convo)
Id crack a joke.
Me
"See that jewel is made out of real snake eyes..."
"That diamond was pryed open from the hands of a half eaten gorilla"(seriousface)
No laugh... then neg, for her having lack of humor. If she responds w/ anything that isnt "Fuck off" or mace to the face just consider it a shit test and then move to:
(FTC then)
Me
"Pretty cool huh, Yea well the thing is, our mutual friend got it for him when SHE went to _______. Shes was gonna give it to her bf but decided not to, after some outrageous things happen.
HB
If your frame is good and theyre hooked they will 99% of the time ask:
"What happened?"
IOI
Me
"Well they've been dating for like a year blah blah blah, (include some cheating back story...or something that caused the mutual lady friend to change her mind.)
You may now add more details in this part since they are hooked and interested in the story, included DHV spikes but make sure to be congruent overall. End the story in a better note. Dont end w/ your friend pissed and miserable. It'll be harder to transition.
Some notes
-As openers, I try not to use a long detailed opinion opener.
-Try to be vague and slowly build up into a DHV story
-If you can substitute a character in the story as female do it. Easier for other females to relate.
-Make sure you are aware that the set is hooked before going on.
-Calibration is key if they arent hooking move on to another different type of opener or switch gears to a more natural approach.
Used a similar opener as above. Field tested.
All good.
So maybe it isnt All bad of an opener you just need to re tweak it and present it in a different stage when the set (recommend all female set) is hooked.
JUSTINcredible!
"On days that end w/ Y."